Alexander: I have no sympathy for him, but his thoughts are so realistic is uncanny. I can totally imagine someone like him, someone who could think like him in this kind of situation, just focused on revenge. The first time I read his POV I was so mad that Audrey didn't manage to kill him lol He's a mixture of deranged and cunning that makes my skin crawl.

Jeremiah: They sound so lost and traumatized. It's sad to read he feels no hope of coming out of that alive, but still tries his best to look strong and keep up the appearances for Freya and Monica. Also protecting them from the vision of Mariana's corpse and not telling them who it was. I always liked Jeremiah.

Griffin: It makes sense they went after poor Griffin. He's a solid contender and had potential to do much better than this, even winning. These two wanted to test themselves and find out if they would be able to kill. This is all Brandon's plan. I don't think Blake is like that but he's going to do whatever Brandon says. I hated that he took the backpack from him when he wasn't even dead. At least none of them went away unscathed. I would have loved to see more of Griffin, but I'm glad he made them bleed and I understand that writing characters without an alliance is hard.

Freya: This one must be dehydrated af after so much crying. I doubt they'd move on and start forgetting about Juliet and everyone that died. They seem to be doing worse as the death messages arrive. Negative emotions all over the place. Freya feeling useless, Jeremy feeling hopeless, snappier, Monica losing her patience with them at the slightest thing. If it wasn't for the fire, they weren't going to end well anyway.

The next stop on my review redemption quest is one that is long overdue. At this point, at the epilogue with 24 chapters complete, it does seem unfair for me to review now that this story is near its conclusion. It wasn't my intention to review at this stage of the story, but I figured after you contacted me, skipping forward several months (more than that) without anything to show for myself, I knew that today was going to be the moment I had to sit down and make some time to leave feedback about this story. Furthermore, while I've been attempting to keep up with other stories, I straight up neglected this one and I do apologize for that. There are many excuses I could give to explain why but at the end of the day it doesn't matter. I also know I'm a pain in the ass to get into contact with, but listen, I'm really hoping to make it up to you with these reviews. :)

You've put a lot of work into writing this story — five years, nearly 160K words, taking characters from a discarded story and re-imagining it into your own. I've never seen anyone attempt this before, even more unheard of that you managed to finish it, which is incredible! That's something to be proud of and I respect that achievement. To be honest, I actually considered finishing War Game myself at one point but realized the magnitude of that endeavor was beyond my capabilities at the time.

I vaguely recall "Darkest Desires" — I remember quickly writing the form but don't actually remember what the story was about. But I knew since that it was Corey, it was going to be some insane AU story and how could I miss out on that? I skimmed through the summary briefly to see where my tribute placed, but later when I went to check out the chapter, the story had been deleted. So although I know that Chanel was the original victor, I don't remember where anyone else placed. Reading through the arena portions of this story is going to be an interesting experience for me.

Of course reading through this prologue, everything seems familiar to me now, but when I first was reading through and seeing all the mystery behind Haversmith Academy, I remember thinking that the premise reminded me of Battle Royale — that was one of the key points which got me on board about this idea originally. Looking over this chapter again, it does sort of resemble that feeling. Beginning with Chanel makes sense — she's the original Victor. But reading from her perspective is especially interesting because she's not a typical protagonist. She's a flawed character with emotional control problems who likes to manipulate people — it's like if you started The Hunger Games from the perspective of Clove, or Mitsuko from Battle Royale.

What I intend to do, so I don't flood your review section, is maybe about every 10 chapters I'll leave my thoughts about what I've read so far — my take on the characters, some interesting things I've seen. I'm not sure how long these reviews will be but I figure they'll be long. I have enough time now to read and focus now, so that shouldn't be a problem. I'm happy to read and leave my thoughts, currently I'm not so inundated with work and stories popping up, I think this is the best opportunity I'm going to have to catch up, and I will. That's a fucking promise!

For now, I like what I've read up until now, but I don't want to get off track so I'll just review this intro. The tension is thick here and the way you were able to balance the plot and the introduction of Chanel, highlighting her cunning tact as she snuck around the school to spy on the secret conversations of Ms. March — this was brilliant. Obviously there's something sus about this Academy — kids dying, coverups, payoffs, tuition spikes, and the impending closure of the school. It's a shitshow here, but all these kids are left in the dark with nowhere else to go. Chanel is on a ticket to Fucksville and it seems we'll be strapped along with her for the remainder of the ride.

Chart—
Like: Chanel

There you have it, first chapter down and I guess I'll be back on chapter 10 and hopefully the review looks halfway presentable. Great job with this intro, and this story — personally it would be the highest honor for someone to continue my work, so I'm sure Corey is elated with how this turned out. Stay tuned for more.

Gerard: Didn't expect him to threathen Gabrielle with stabbing her in the back, I mean, he always looked rather docile and my theory was that he'd get to be her slave. She has a freaking gun, that was brave of him and a little bit foolish, although it's important to make hmself be respected and it seems Gabrielle appreciated to be with someone that actually has guts instead of being a doormat. I like his POVs because I like to read his thoughts, also you capture well how uncomfortable it is to sleep outside on the cold, hard ground.

Monica: I winced so much reading this POV agh. Honestly, this was the best that could have happened to Juliet. Why staying alive and suffering for days? I know having a bullet inside is shitty but omg, removing shrapnel when you don't know what you're doing is dangerous. I suffer for Monica, because now she will be traumatised forever and will never forget she "killed" Juliet. I wanna thank her for looking after my girl, and you for writing her. One of the saddest deaths.

Alaina: Whoa... All that tension... Not very intelligent of her, trying to convince Chanel to help them (who she doesn't even like that much) with an ally that is good friends with Chanel and is in weird terms with her. What could go wrong? Well... Alaina just found out. I want to think that Alaina tried to put their differences aside, but Chanel has gone through really awful things, and she hasn't and I just couldn't see it working.

Mariana: So lactose intolerant, lmao. I felt so bad for her, I wish she found more strenght within to fight against Alex. This is one of the worst deaths so far, getting hit in a toilet and drowned and then killed. This guy is nuts, poor Mariana. Also it was three against him but just not the fighter type. Audrey has guts but she has a story in common with Alex and I get it makes it harder, Madison is a coward and Mariana is just too soft.

Interesting to know that the original placements are changing a bit already! You could post both at the end, just for comparison.

Brandon: I really don't like him but seeing the way he thinks and acts I am not surprised he nearly wins. That is the right attitude. Also, I like their bond. Blake is probably the only person there Brandom couldn't go against. Taking their waters is shitty but one doesn't win by being nice. To break the watch was a crazy thing to do lol but attacking when everyone else thinks you're dead is definitely useful.

Madison: She's smart and she is right. They just walked into a trap with nowhere to go. I get they're hungry and need to sleep but it's a big, big risk. I guess hunger gives you bravery, I don't think I would have gone in there, everything feels so... unsettling and creepy. Also leaving Alex alone turned out to be a bad idea, they could have gone to take him down like the other alliance did with Wes, but because the scene in chapter 23 was so fucking awesome, I am glad he was alive to trigger that event.

Freya: If I learned something from SYOTs, is that once you get a wound like that, it's all over. Tributes transform into "the wound" as pain doesn't let them move or talk a lot, and they just burden everyone. It's sad to see Juliet in pain and Monica and Freya so upset because they wanna help her but there's nothing they can do. Jeremiah and Freya reunion was cute.

Yuto: This POV hurt the first time I read it, and it hurts now. I guess, deep down, we all have a soft spot for love stories and they're hard to find in SYOTs because well, most of the kids only know each other for a few days. Reading this made me think I would not have accepted any other death for them, at the hands of other people, in other circumstances, even when that would have made them go further. However, I will miss them a lot. They were special. RIP.

Chanel: The tension here was so good mixed in with the flat jokes about their situation that I have come to expect from these two. I'm not shocked that Brandon would make the first move here, given that he's the one who sought out Griffin to kill whereas Chanel was more into the opportunistic kills. It's a good choice to show the separation between the two characters here before one of them (I better know who) eats it. The large paragraph near the end was crazy with emotion, like I think I read it at least 4x before moving on. The emotion is so raw you know that she is reliving all of this as she looks at someone who she deems as similar to the person who ruined her. It makes sense that in a time like this she would break down, but she's so close. If she doesn't win this... I'm deleting myself from this website.

Brandon: Wow a bitch can see hurt? Who knew. Nevermind he's awful and I hate men right now. I won't go on a full rant about this because there is SO much to say but wow. You're right I can cry and want to kill someone at the same time. He seems like a 'not all men' type and I'm about ready to jump in this story and kill him, then let Chanel kill me so she can get out. I hate how real this conversation feels like. Why are men? Why are humans? The fact that he's so defensive about it being all 'just fun' makes me hate him more but also this is so real. I like seeing this weak point against Chanel again, the fact that she hesitates because she doesn't actually want to kill her classmates. Bringing up Gabby again... low blow thanks. He shot her. He actually shot her again. He... wow. She's doing what Gabby did an egging him on but it better end better for Chanel here I swear to limos. I do notice the hints of humanity we see from Brandon here I am simply choosing to ignore them because he's a horrible person who honestly deserves to die here just like everyone else who thinks like him. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk, onto the next one.

Chanel: She's so stubborn I love it. Even though she has clearly resigned herself to being killed by him, she is still not going to fully give into anything. My heart dropped when she dropped that knife like I swear you better pick that tf back up. I like to see the fight increase in her as it looks like she might gain some leverage, like the fact that it doesn't seem so helpless is egging her on. I couldn't help but remember the scene she was thinking about between her and Wes in the first pov when they started fighting. It seemed like it was hopeless and that she resigned herself to it, but then she found that fight. Then she really just. She really let him stab her. Then screamed in his face. I honestly love the transformation in this chapter, we are really seeing all of the raw emotion not just of her past but also of the situation they've all gone through. Chanel is still the person that we met way back when, but there is a desperation tone to her now where she is willing to literally do anything (including get stabbed, be vulnerable to make him second guess) to just survive. Yeah I'm overthinking every line, sue me it's good. I really like close-call finales, especially when neither of the tributes are that much stronger than the others. It makes sense to me that both would fight with everything they had and therefore it would leave the survivor pretty messed up. Her thoughts about whether they would actually come save her were honestly real, like why would they bother to keep her alive when she could be a liability in saying what happened out there?

Honestly, Brandon got the death that I think someone like him deserves. He was just a bit arrogant and believed that he was invincible and that he had time to hesitate in his emotions because he was an obvious winner. He made the fatal mistake of underestimating how desperate someone can be to survive and died for it. I like that there was some emotional component to him hesitating to kill her because they had that connection of being friends. Didn't have that for Griffin, eh? As a lot of these deaths have been, this one fit the character very well with those undertones of irony that I simply live for.

Your emotion in this chapter was really excellent and I felt every part of it. I loved the symbolism and the connections back to their life pre-camp. It was great to have two finalists who had such a deep connection even though I hate seeing how far he made it. A great finale, as you already well know. I'm not ready for the epilogue and the completion of this story but I'm interested to see what actually happens to Chanel.

Thanks for the emotional wreckage xoxo

Ali! You did it! You finished your first SYOT! I’m so proud of you!

And what a finale it was. The action, the gore, the emotional breakdowns - ahhhh! I can’t even begin to describe how good your writing is. It’s very vivid without being pretentious, and it lends to exploring darker themes super well. And you manage to capture the immediacy of each moment so so so well.

I screamed, I swore, I’m still gagging at that collarbone thing… all of it credit to your writing ability.

I’m so excited to see what comes next for you. Something brilliant, no doubt.

Holy fucking shit?

Ali you like really didn't need to pop off this hard but you did and I'm so grateful. The way I just felt this in my body so deeply, like reading this was such an experience? And it was so beautiful; the way you write combat is so pragmatic (?) in a way? I don't know if that's the proper word but I just adore the way its so easy to follow? Just wow this finale was stunning and your writing is so stunning and I really have no words for how much I enjoyed and felt all of this. I suppose I will read the rest now.

Congratulations on an incredible story,
Linds - h /2L2G4lpVBG8

Major points for undertaking what you did!

Now if only I could get my dumb school work out of the way and continue writing...Winter Break is so close...soo close.

Congratulations.

A full-chapter review after Blake’s dead? Who am I?

Brandon: I want to like him because of his connection to Blake, and I do for the most part, but I could see why someone would find him annoying. He’s pushing his conversation with Chanel a little too far, maybe back off from other people’s business? Idk if he’d be so amused if Chanel interrogated him about a seemingly terrible breakup. Alas, the two of them does make a good team and I like their overall dynamic.

Audrey: my hypochondriasis got a punch to the face with this POV, that’s for sure. The way you describe Audrey’s physical state is so masterfully done, and incredibly vivid. I kinda feel nauseous myself. I’m glad she managed to get away in spite of the sickness, but I’m unsure of how long she’ll actually be able to outrun Mr Grim - which indeed is a dubious name considering the circumstances. aww, my heart.

Madison: can we talk about how me and Madison are basically the same person? A quiet, seemingly innocent confidant, knowing a little bit of everyone’s secrets - check, check, check! I can relate. Can we also talk about how unfair the benefactors are about deciding who fights who? I mean, it would’ve been okay if all of the match-ups were equally numbered, but 1vs2 is not cute. Brandon might’ve changed the odds tho.

Alexander: ALI! WTF ARE YOU DOING?! I CAN’T DEAL! Like, I don’t know these guys super well, but you’re making me feel stuff, all of the stuff, and it’s just too much to deal with right now. I have a seminar in an hour, how do I explain the disheveled mess you’ve made of me?! Ahhh, you’re such a good writer it’s criminal. Moving on, how Audrey resolved the situation with the exploding collar was brilliant.

Chanel: I still can’t quite get over the last POV, but this was really something. I’m glad Chanel gave Madison a quick death rather than let Brandon prolong her suffering, I’m rooting for her as victor (yes Em, revel in it). This whole chapter was so perfectly structured. I love the back-and-forth, the unilinear timeline, everything really. I also love Blake’s multiple mentions, what’s that about? Brandon needs to die tho. Bye!

Ali Ali Ali. An F***ing queen, what more can I say.

Monica Celsey: I’ve seen a lot of her in other POVs so seeing her here is really quite neat! She’s an artsy lass and I actually think that it is extremely sexy of her. I like how focused she seems to be, it is unique and I love unique as I’m sure you have realized by now. I also enjoy how observant she is. She makes me laugh.

Griffin Ellings: Awe he is a sweet boy. He seems nervous and I immediately feel that I have to empathize with him because he appears to be a lovely little guy and I want him to succeed. Wait I realized Harper is a girl. I’m so fucking braindead. Yeah though Griffin is really cool. Seeing everybody’s relationship with the school is real neat by the way. And he is an actor that is so cute! He is so cute I just really like him.

Blake Chapman: What an annoying white boy name! Okay regardless he is also really nervous. He went to win! Good for him in all honesty, I hope he succeeds even if he is annoying me right now. When am I not annoyed by everybody? Capture the flag is fun wow I miss it. I was always jack shit at it though. Yeah Blake is alright

Freya Pritchard: I love her name a lot! Just had to say that because it is true. She just wanted to have a nice day and now she has to be sad. I don’t want miss Freya to be sad she seems like such a nice and sweet girl. Good for her! I just wish that she could go shopping as she deserves. Yeah she’s grounding and sweet.

Alexander Grim: Oh he is tired bitch me too. I sleep so much but I am always tired. It’s really a struggle. I gave to give him points for being a fellow Angelino. He wants dinner and its mediocre! I am used to being disappointed with bad dinner. Its ironic that he feels stuffy yeah. I love irony. I love him too he’s a real character and I like the energy that he’s sure to bring to the table.

Love: Madison, Gabrielle, Griffin, Alexander
Like: Chanel, Jeremiah, Harper, Monica
Neutral: Mariana, Alaina, Seraphina, Gerard, Blake, Freya
Dislike: Shane

LMAO not the theme song being Closer. Ironic though because they will indeed never be getting older since they’re all about to die. Is that mean of me? I don’t care!

Alaina Calline: Okay she too seems really optimistic! Good for her. She seems to majorly have a chip on her shoulder and I feel bad for her because of that. She’s extremely preppy though and I don’t know if I like it yet. I guess I will find out eventually but for now she is neutral.

Seraphina Corvo: She seems to be the most normal character here for sure. Everybody else has such over the top personalities or so it seems, so I appreciate how stable and grounded she is. She’s shy though. Poor baby. I feel bad for her. But yeah she seems smart but normal.

Harper Robbins: I know this Harper is a boy but Harper was the name of one of my friend’s Sherlock OC’s back in the day and I was in love with that Harper. Cool chic for sure. Fun story, I dated Harper’s creator for like 2 weeks but then I realized I simply liked the OC more than I liked her. Kind of embarrassing but whatever. I immediately get somewhat rude vibes from this dude, and he’s unruly but not like Shane. He knows his worth which is nice. I think that his love for climbing is really unique! Yeah he is a strong dude and his internal monologue is deeply interesting to me. He has insecurities and I look forwards to seeing how they reveal themselves.

Gerard Colson: The MCR phase crawled back to me the second I saw his name so that was funny for sure. I too am unable to focus on anything so I relate to that aspect of his personality very much so. He seems like a good leader and again, I like that. He’s super flexible which is useful so yeah Gerard is a good bean and I appreciate good beans.

Love: Madison, Gabrielle

Like: Chanel, Jeremiah, Harper

Neutral: Mariana, Alaina, Seraphina, Gerard

Dislike: Shane
Hate:

Hello Ali! I am wearing crazy socks and chipping away at the TMDHTM intros as I don’t pay attention in AP English Literature and Honors Creative writing since my SYOT career should give me an A in both of those classes TBH. For some reason, Fairly local being the song of this chapter made me feel nostalgic. What times those were

Jeremiah Whittaker: He’s a simple boy, and I respect him for that. He seems to be smart and he knows it which is a valuable skill. I like his imagery and how he describes things, it’s a bit poetic for sure. He’s just very self aware and I really love that for him. He’s a shy lad, and that’s just really sweet of him. The panic of sorts that he feels as the plot line progresses is nice and relatable and yeah he is just a nice normal dude and I appreciate him.

Shane Curran: Just from the first three paragraphs I can tell that Shane is going to annoy me. He’s sassy and unruly but I’m not sure if I like that about him if I’m being honest. He just feels really unhinged and there’s something to him that I can’t put my finger on. Yeah he’s the epitome of privilege and he isn’t even hiding it. It’s a bit grating for me. He’s eh to me I suppose.

Mariana Brinley: She has a sense of realism to her which is refreshing for sure. It’s sad how she clearly got the worst of it in this situation and she deserves better than what’s going on but I think it will be fun to see how mischievous she gets because I get that sense that she will be. She is trying to be optimistic but I’m unsure how long that will last. There’s surely more to her than what I’m seeing here, and I’m eager to explore that.

Madison Carell: I feel like I have to be biased because she’s a theatre girl and a reluctant cheerleader and that’s sort of my kink at this point. Embarrassing of me, I know. I can tell that she wants to break the molds that she’s been placed into and I really appreciate that for her. She is a feminist legend which is so stannable. There isn’t much for me to not love here.

Gabrielle Harman: She’s a welcome reality check to the fact that this situation isn’t exactly ideal, and I appreciate that about her for sure. Also the fact that she plays rugby is really hot, and I look forwards to seeing more of the aggression that’s seeming developed in her. She doesn’t give up ever which is really nice and I love her motivation. She’s a fighter! Gabrielle is really just nice and likable and I loved reading this scene.

Love: Madison, Gabrielle

Like: Chanel, Jeremiah

Neutral: Mariana

Dislike: Shane
Hate:

Brandon: I don't want to like him and I don't want to feel bad for him. I stand by my opinion that he's a terrible person, not b/c he murdered people (duh, ofc he had to) but b/c he didn't need to be as cruel as he was. The fact that he's trying to push this conversation with Chanel now also irks me like what makes him think he's entitled to know. Yeah I guess it's some last interaction drama but everything this kid does makes me want to smack him so here we are. I like that we're getting right into the action here, but pretty shit of the Benefactors to decide who has to go against who right now. Audrex are clearly getting the short end of the stick, as is Madison who has to go against two people.

Audrey: Oh god as if I wasn't already worried enough about how this fight is going to go now she's sick too? It's sad that her humour, which was so carefree and fun before, has turned into something so dark because she kind of knows that this is the end. The casual tone of Alex coming in was almost worse than if he would have burst in with gun pointed. They've both changed so much but the hurt that's been there for a long time isn't gone despite the fact that Audrey doesn't hate him. I hate that you're drawing this out because I am so scared she's actually going to die here and I really can't handle that. You're going to give me grey hair I swear to limos.

Madison: It's always sad getting the full history right before you kind of know someone is about to die. I do like that she is showing a mixture of both fear and acceptance, because she's right that there is going to be little she can do to get out of this. Dying unknown would probably be a fear for a lot of people, but to her it's almost a comfort which is an interesting perspective especially given how quiet she's been in these games. She hasn't done a whole lot, she did fade away a bit, but that now feels like it's on purpose. It broke my heart a bit when she gave up not gonna lie, but I also get it. She's got a bullet in her abdomen and like what is she doing to do against Brandon? This one hit hard with the feelings, why did you do this?

Alex: I'm not ready. I'm NOT ready. I AM NOT READY. Okay at least he's out of bullets *I say hopefully knowing full well what is about to happen*. I don't even know how to put into words what I feel about this section. It honestly took me like 5mins after reading it that Audrey died because I just want her to be alive so much and the fact that she's not is criminal. She was a light in this story, her thoughts and dialogue so funny and relatable, and the fact that she's gone? I'm not okay nor will I be for a while. This scene was insane because you really had me out here thinking she had a chance even though she's sick and small against her rage-machine of an ex. The end with the collar? I can't? It was so good? His last thoughts were also very telling of his character, he was completely tunneled on his rage and that got him killed in the end. He wanted revenge more than he wanted to live though it seemed, so he got what he wanted. Why am I crying?

Okay moving on. It took me almost 15 minutes to move past that section I hope you're happy with yourself.

Chanel: Oh she ain't dead yet my bad. I straight up thought she was already dead but glad we're getting to see the end of this. I've said it before and I will say it again- fuck Brandon and everything he stands for/loves/does/thinks. He's messing with people's heads making it so much worse on them than it has to be. He has no right to decide how someone should react to being murdered. I can't wait to see how HE reacts when Chanel slaughters his ass. This conversation has just made me so upset with Brandon that here I am rooting for the girl who murdered my chaotic daughter, what a ride honestly. If this story ends in anything except Brandon being horrifically murdered I am quitting this site forever.

Okay wow final two this is insane? You've done so well with this story and even though I only actually started properly reading a bit ago I'm so proud of you for sticking with it until the end. This has been amazing and I'm glad to have been here for the end even though I wasn't for the beginning. So well done and I can't wait to see the last two chapters! Please don't surprise us with another update b/c I may actually injure myself this time!

This chapter was awesome. I already miss Blake, Brandon better win for him! That's all I have to say :)

It didn't let me read the new chapter on firefox, but it let me using the app. The game is about to end and I can't keep falling behind.

Alex: He's so cold hearted. I know he needs his meds but these are his classmates, I can't believe he doesn't feel an ounce of guilt for killing them. The way he speaks, so detached just rubs me the wrong way. I know they're in a death match and he wants to survive but he is just planning murders of people who shared his daily life with for years. And even when he talks about Audrey is like "she won't let me go near her after knowing I killed Jackson" instead of idk, hesitating because she was his girlfriend. I will be happy when he dies.

Juliet: It's interesting how paranoia works. Someone obviously following them with unknown intentions (I assume none of them was that close to Wes, otherwise they would have opposed the idea of killing him or just decide to trust him from the beginning) and them deciding that they rather kill him than find out. They might be right that he didn't mean harm, and I like that we will never know for sure. He could have wanted an alliance, but the fact that he has a gun is suspicious and after knowing what he did to Chanel... Well, Juliet seemed to be unaware of that. She didn't know the "snarky guy she used to have English with" true colours. I feel like none of them have quite processed what just happened.

Harper: This was a sad POV, the way no one aknowledged her death. If she was around the area when Seraphina died, it could have been her triggering the explosions at any minute. I never guessed she would feel this lonely, she seemed to be ok back in the camp. Coming from a different country is like that sometimes.

Gwen: Awww. They're so sweet, I love these two. Glad that Gwen doesn't have to spend the night on her own. He stole from alaina lmao. I am glad they are together looking after each other, well, Yuto looking after Gwen. I remember when I read this back then, I was worried they would go after them for the betrayal and just wanted them to be alone and enjoy each other's company. The injury is there like an elephant in the room tho.