|Reviews for Mobile Suit Gundam: Unspoken Truths|
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/15/2012
What has become of Char in this timeline of yours?
| ShadowCell chapter 2 . 6/27/2003
Pretty good...you know your facts, and it's easy to read, but there's some mistakes.
1. How exactly do you intend on ending the conflict between Char and Amuro? If both their deaths signified the end of the conflict, but now Amuro (and Char too, I'm guessing—who else would Amuro have sensed?) are still alive...so how do you intend to finish their great rivalry?
2. At the end of Gundam ZZ, Judau and pals piled onto a ship and set forth for Jupiter. Unless Judau returned for some reason because of the Second Neo Zeon War, it makes more sense to let him stay at Jupiter. Then again, that's a minor detail, unless Judau takes on a bigger role. Camille's appearance was good as well, and it makes perfect sense that he'd marry Fa. I'm actually hoping that this Alexander Maximoff guy has a substantial amount of military might at his disposal, to warrant Amuro, Camille, and Judau—three generations of extremely powerful Newtypes—to fight side-by-side.
3. This Alexander Maximoff guy...I'm guessing he's the leader of what would normally have become the wacky Oldsmobile Army. I'd suggest you give him a very large force—it would scare the Federation into just crying for peace. But Londo Bell knows better and would have to fight a single-handed war against an enemy several times bigger than Char's Neo Zeon. Therefore, it would make an interesting alliance between Londo Bell and Neo Zeon a necessity—especially if Maximoff decides to target Char and pals for some reason. And, because they're from Mars, I have to beg you—PLEASE use the Oldsmobile Army's overhauled vintage One Year War mobile suits! Come on, the RF Zaku, the RF Rick Dom, the RF Gelgoog...they look cool! You HAVE to use them!
4. I'm pretty sure the presence Amuro sensed at the wedding was that of Char. What do you intend to do with Char? I hope you don't intend to make them friends—Char and Amuro may be able to get along (see Zeta Gundam) but they will never be friends who willingly go out for pizza and all. While Zeta Gundam showed that Char and Amuro realized that Lalah's death was both their fault, they can still never be friends. Allies, of course, but not friends. Anyways, since Char is probably still alive (if you let Amuro live you have to let Char live), what do you intend to do with him now? Would he so easily give up the ideas behind his Neo Zeon?
5. As David said, Katz and Hayato died. I would think Frau would somehow be affected. Katz fell in love with Scirocco's #1 fan Sarah and resultingly bit the dust, and Hayato croaked in Haman's colony drop on Dublin. Plus, what about Chan? Wouldn't Amuro be affected by her death and all?
6. Bright Noah's name is exactly how I put it: Bright Noah.
1. Please do us all a favor and separate your notes from your actual fic. It's extremely annoying having to look for the start of the story.
2. Your writing seems a little off in places. Although you do know how to press Return-Tab and you have learned the concept of proofreading, there are little things that abound. You might want to have someone else read it over to find these little errors.
Overall, a pretty good fic, but there's room for improvement.
| aslanbrooke chapter 2 . 6/19/2003
Okay, this was probably one of the best fics that I have ever read. Amuro and Sayla are my favorite couple, and romance fics on them are such a rarity. There are only two other Amuro/Sayla fanfics that I know of. Also, you did really good with your grammer, unlike some ot the other fanfics that I've read. I do have a few corrections to make though. Bright's first name is Bright. Also, Katsu died in ZG and Hayato died in ZZ. And what happened to Chan?
But other than that, TERRIFIC!
| Matt Taylor chapter 1 . 3/29/2003
Excellent fic! I love Amuro/Sayla fics, and i'm writing one of my own. It's actually somethign like this one (Sayla finds an inconscious Amuro after CCA, and helps nurse him back to health) I pormise though, that I stated it before I found out about this story, so please don't think i'm ripping you off.
Your characterization is good, and you (unlike some other authors) knwo what a paragraph is.
Also, David, Chan was killed in the movie. She was in the RE-GZ when Quess was killed, and Hathaway blew her up in his rage.
| Newtype Omega chapter 2 . 2/11/2003
Okay, decent enough attempt. MAJOR error though; and since you mentioned the ZZ, I'm going to think that you've researched the Gundams, but not seen the series. Hayato is DEAD and so is Katz. (Katz died in ZG while Hayato bit the dust in ZZ.) Frau is now a widow by default. And whatever happened to Chan? (She and Amuro do appear close in CCA after all.) A little clean-up is in order, but it's got potential. Another thing; the Wing Zero is an overdone concept, think of something new. (Look up the Zetaplus models from Gundam Sentinel, THOSE things ROCK! _)
| Lady Une-chan a.k.a. Mirai chapter 2 . 2/10/2003
This is pretty good. However, I do have one complaint. Bright Noa's first name is Bright. I'm a major fan of his, so wanted to make this clear. Other than that, I liked it. _
| kishiria chapter 1 . 1/28/2003
For a first fic, it wasn't a bad effort. You know what a paragraph is, you can spell (although it's hangar with an A not hanger) and you have a grasp on the characters.
Suggestions: Put "notes" at the beginning or end, or use an asterisk to mark them as footnotes. Don't put them in the middle of the story.
If you're basing a fic in an episode, try to make it vary more from the episode.
Finally, we didn't get enough about Sayla's feelings on finding Casval was indeed Char. This revelation had her in tears in the series, and we didn't get any feeling for that trauma.
Keep going. I like fics which are not about original characters, but about the characters from the series.