Reviews for But She Didn't Go Away
Ellie Sculder chapter 18 . 9/14/2016
Rory is so wise! I love how the relationship between Rory and Luke is developing. Another great chapter!
Rori Potter chapter 18 . 9/14/2016
Oh boy. Wow. Update soon.
Handful of Barbie chapter 18 . 9/13/2016
I don't want to criticize because I'm enjoying your story, but I need to say this because it's getting in the way of an otherwise good piece.

Your constant use of description ("the man", "the brunette", "her friend", "the 21 year old") is really, really irritating. It's fine, even good, once in a while, but should be used sparingly. It is especially irritating because the description is rarely relevant.

This would read a LOT better with names and pronouns in place of at least 95% of your descriptors.

Please keep writing, but rethink this particular strategy.
cecilia.dryan chapter 18 . 9/13/2016
I want more
cecilia.dryan chapter 17 . 9/10/2016
I want more
cecilia.dryan chapter 16 . 9/10/2016
Fun
cecilia.dryan chapter 15 . 9/10/2016
Cool
cecilia.dryan chapter 14 . 9/10/2016
Awesome cool
cecilia.dryan chapter 13 . 9/10/2016
Awesome more
cecilia.dryan chapter 12 . 9/10/2016
Awesome st
cecilia.dryan chapter 11 . 9/10/2016
Aww
cecilia.dryan chapter 10 . 9/10/2016
Awe
cecilia.dryan chapter 9 . 9/10/2016
Yayoh
cecilia.dryan chapter 8 . 9/10/2016
Moreover
cecilia.dryan chapter 7 . 9/10/2016
Morw
77 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 .. Last Next »