Reviews for Bookwritten: The Brokenhearted |
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Dogbiskitgamer chapter 1 . 7/31/2016 Well I wasn't sure what to think at the beginning. But after reading this I can definitely see this as a full story. Even though I know some of these characters a lot, this is still unfolding really nicely. Good job. |
St Elmo's Fire chapter 1 . 7/29/2016 You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor. You should separate your author notes with a horizontal line; otherwise, they look like part of the story. [Prologue (or whatever you call it :3)] You don't have to label chapters, as FFN's chapter list will do it for you. Also, including author's notes in the middle of a story is always a terrible idea. Stories run on immersion and suspension of disbelief; interrupting the story and pointing to the wires shatters that, much like an actor breaking character in a theater production. This is far too short for a first chapter. Remember that your first chapter is your opportunity to hook your reader – in other words, to show them what makes your story unique and worth reading. A fragment of one scene with no context does not do that. |
Magical Song chapter 1 . 7/29/2016 Rather short even for a prologue, it doesn't really give the reader a chance to get hooked to the story. Oh, and [you're mother's name] should be [your mother's name]. |