|Reviews for Troublesome Boys|
| RedDragon30000 chapter 4 . 10/25/2016
I found this chapter both surprising and amusing, but it was a very fitting end to the story. Despite facing overwhelming odds and confronted with the Headmaster and the failure of their plan, SPLAT show that they won't back down.
Knowing that they will wrongfoot the man with such a method, they start mocking him and laughing at him. Harvey knows that the worst can happen, but for once he doesn't care about his fate, and gains the courage to gleefully insult the Headmaster. Unfortunately this backfires badly on him as the Headmaster retaliates with an unexpected weapon. Enraged by the insults that SPLAT are hurling at him and how they tried to stop his plans, Harvey's insult is the last straw. The Headmaster counters with such a horrifying and embarrassing detail that Harvey can't handle what he hears, causing him to faint.
| RedDragon30000 chapter 3 . 10/24/2016
I like the unique way you've structured this chapter, and although it's clear enough without the authors note, it was very helpful to clarify in case readers became confused. You bring across the Headmaster's priorities and reasoning very well in this chapter, it was great to get an insight into his mind on the days the Hunter brothers joined his school.
When he sees Lloyd Hunter, the Headmaster analyses him in terms of his potential usefulness as a pawn in his plans. Even though he dislikes Lloyd on a personal level, he will not let that interfere with using him in his plans. However, all his planning is thrust aside as soon as the Headmaster comes to the horrifying realisation that Lloyd Hunter is Immune to his hypnotism. At once it becomes clear that he HATES not being in control, even a little, as the Headmaster is utterly enraged that he has an Immune pupil in his school.
Although frustrated that Lloyd is Immune, the Headmaster is still hopeful that Harvey is not. Although he dismisses Harvey as 'weak' and 'pathetic', once again the Headmaster will not turn away a potential asset, despite his personel impressions. However, once again such an asset is snatched away from his grasp, as the Headmaster discovers that Harvey is as Immune as his brother. Although he is angry that he can't make proper use of the Hunter brothers, the Headmaster is determined that he will push on with his plans, despite having a group of Immunes in his school.
| RedDragon30000 chapter 2 . 9/22/2016
I think this chapter may be funnier than the first one. If the Headmaster thought things were bad before, they just got so much worse! Even though the Headmaster finds it detestable to hold a baby, he is close to panic when he realises that he has to change Harvey. Characteristically, he doesn't care what effect a dirty nappy will have on Harvey, but changes him because the smell is directly affecting him and he has to appear 'caring' to Mrs Hunter, so can't allow the baby to develop a rash. His usual tactic of ordering someone else to do am unpleasant task doesn't work, as the teenager he orders is both unhypnotised and unanticipated, leaving him on his own.
Once he starts to change Harvey, things get worse for the Headmaster as he is forced to do something horribly unpleasant and then Harvey won't stop crying loudly. Once Harvey stops and his nappy is changed, the Headmaster feels sufficiently in control to gloat how he will get Harvey in his control.
He almost panics again when Harvey's asthma makes him start wheezing as he has no idea what to do, bit luckily Mrs Hunter returns in time to get Harvey breathing correctly and once she departs with Harvey and Lloyd, the Headmaster is back to his sinister self. Now once more in control, he looks forward to having such annoying children under his control.
| RedDragon30000 chapter 1 . 9/21/2016
This is a very amusing little story and fit together very well. You introduced the Headmaster engaging in an uncommon activity very well. As he thinks very little of the general population (unless they are under his control), he avoids shopping in such a crowded place as the shopping mall. However, on this particular day, he doesn't have a choice, as he knows he can only get the desk he deems perfect if he chooses it himself.
Unfortunately, a trip that SHOULD be successful and efficient becomes a living nightmare for the Headmaster because of only a single chance meeting. Everything goes downhill from there, as although he sees a chance to gain two new children to control, the Hunter brothers make his life a misery, and he is left in a terrible situation where he is left holding baby Harvey.
It was very interesting seeing the Hunter brothers so young, as I'm so used to seeing them school age. Baby Harvey was very cute and it was interesting to see how
His character traits are starting to appear, such as his enormous appetite and it was sweet to see how much Lloyd wants to look after his brother, almost throwing a tantrum when Mrs Hunter says he isn't big enough to hold Harvey.
Interestingly, both of the boys seem to sense the Headmaster's malevolence, Lloyd stomping directly up to the man and kicking him (thus causing the fateful meeting between the Headmaster and the Hunters) and Harvey biting his finger when he gets hold of it.