|Reviews for Eithel Ivrin|
| Laerthel chapter 1 . 8/21/2016
I'm glad you're publishing again, my favorite running companion ;)
I have a soft spot with one-shots with repetitive lines, or even long stories with repetitive symbols. It's so powerful, but of course, it means that the one sentence or symbol in question should be powerful enough to carry the "burden" of the whole story.
Black water is a great choice. It reminds me of filth, ink, infection, Orc-blood, mud and earth at the same time. It could mean many things. Water is usually the symbol of pureness, life and sometimes redemption - tears do have a cleansing power - and to see water itself going awry and dirty leaves the reader with a much stronger impression than, for example, stating that Túrin felt "oh SO guilty" would. (Especially because he did not feel guilty. Guilt just came after. Killing Beleg was just too outrageous to feel ANYTHING).
The scenes feel so real, even being so wildly symbolic, and that is something to approve. Denial is natural. Raw emotion and despair are natural. Feeling dirty, feeling a sudden urge to bathe, to wash the filth away is entirely natural as well (the whole thing does have a certain "Ágnes asszony" ring to it, if you know what I mean... :) that filth, I believe, has been already washed away long ago, at least, physically...).
"Your memories bear no words", such a powerful line.
I liked how water and salt regained their purifying power at the end: as if tears (meaning the end of denial) were the ones to truly cleanse Túrin. A great idea! :) Also, the second person narrative is one I don't usually see, and not sure I could do. Awesome.
The only glimpse of criticism I can offer is not truly criticism, just a thought I have: while in this piece, water lost its natural power of cleansing, it would have been interesting not to counteract the light Túrin once had (and still has) with darkness, but rather with faded light, or "dirty" light... for example, while sunlight could show the beauty of the land, some sort of dimmed light or red haze could only show the unpleasant details of the world. I'm thinking of this because Morgoth was cunning enough to curse Húrin (and thus Túrin) in a way that left them a little hope, the chance of a chance to escape their doom, so they could fool themselves all the way long with visions of escape. Utter darkness means no hope at all, not even a false one.
(Umm... I don't know whether this was understandable. Sorry if not).
Also, Ben Howard's 'Black Flies' started to echo in my head while reading this, for some reason...