|Reviews for The Parchment of Godric's Hollow|
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/6/2016
very good, perhaps if you made this a fem harry/kili or even better: give harry a broody dark protective twin sister.
| h1lovecupcakes chapter 1 . 9/1/2016
Good job! Though, I have a few things to say;
* I like the way you wrote his thoughts at the beginning, it was very sincere.
* Bilbo seemed a tiny bit out of character.
* There are half sentences because you started a new paragraph in the middle of them and they block the flow of the story.
* unprotected Skin - unprotected skin.
* A person would at least consider backing away from the bushes if their hands were covered in blood.
* How can he use/take out his sword that freely in bushes?
* Hunger was forgetten : You only mentioned hunger at the beginning, and even though the chapter is not long, there is an action in it so I had a "what hunger?" moment when I read that sentence.
Also, hunger is forgetten, what about cold? He even left the cloak behind, so what happened to the cold?
* Uh, he growls?
* No one thinks that they will die just "anxiously". They would be horrified, scared, shocked or something bigger like that.
* It is too short
But, these are all my ideas, and I just wanted to let you know about them. Even though all of this, it was very good to see the Kili's side, and I enjoyed it much :)
Thank you for taking your time to write this w
| Katzztar chapter 1 . 8/21/2016
The problem witht eh format often happens somehow with this site, sometimes it takes re-uploading the story to fix it. For me, once the bug was so bad that wouldn't work and I had to use the copy & paste method instead of uploading the chapter.
There are a few spelling mistakes. I see English isn't your native tongue so just want to point them out so you can learn.
"His current situation proofed this saying wrong." IT should be proved, not 'proofed' (which doesn't exist in English). Though it is easy to understand as the word sounds the same except that the v sound is softer then the f. For a proper spelling and grammar though, I would add 'is' at the end, is its an action word for the present.
"His current situation proved this saying is wrong."
hmmm Interesting on how Kili was ...taken away? I'm assuming that his blood touched the parchment and activated a charm/spell. With that discomfort and pain.. was it a portkey that took him away?
| Amu4ever chapter 1 . 8/21/2016
Alright, so your paragraphs look a bit strange. Text that should be in one line is in two. Also the line separating the AN from the chapter has mysteriously disappeared.
But then again you can always go back and edit that later on, don't worry!
I am glad you have published it and look forward to continue to work with you in the future!