|Reviews for Yugioh Gx Rewritten Season 1|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/24/2016
This story bites ass bro.
| Vintage and Pink chapter 1 . 8/25/2016
I agree with the previous review. Thus seems very rushed and sloppily put together...however, you aren't alone. My first story that I posted in this section isn't anything I like to particularly brag on, heh...
Take your time and plot out your story elements so that they make sense, as well as your OC. I'm not a fan of his name, but remember, a name can be overlooked if the character's personality shines through enough.
| Flare Phoenix chapter 1 . 8/24/2016
If you’re going to rewrite GX with an additional character, could you please have that character actually contribute something meaningful? GX already has enough pointless characters, it really doesn’t need another. What can I really say about Kite? He is a Juudai clone with no distinguishing personality, who adds nothing to the chapter except to make it more convoluted. He does the exact same things as Juudai, he goes through the same events, but contributes absolutely nothing to make reading a subpar version of the first episode interesting. I mean, seriously? Kite Shadows? Is he the love child of Kite Tenjo and Rei Shadows from ZeXal? You couldn’t at least come up with an original name for your character?
There is not much else I can really talk about. The whole thing is just a poorly done version of the first episode. The writing is not very good. You have everything squished together so much, it makes it difficult to keep track of who is talking and to whom. This is especially noticeable during the duel where it’s so awkward trying to keep track of what is happening I didn’t even bother.
Though why a tag duel? That changes the dynamics of everything as it doesn’t look like an applicant beat the top teacher, but rather two applicants only won because they outnumbered him two to one. It also misses the point that Winged Kuriboh was shown to be useful to Juudai, and started their bonds together.
The descriptions in this aren’t that great either. A lot of the time you devolve into just outright telling the reader what is going on (e.g. “Crowler wasn’t using a test deck he was using his own deck to fail Jaden and Kite”), and other times you explain things so obvious they really didn’t need to be mentioned. For example, do you really think anything reading a Duel Academy story wouldn’t know what Duel Academy was? Do you have that little faith in your audience? This whole thing desperately needs someone to proof read it because there are a lot of little mistakes that should have been picked up.
I wish I had something nice to say about this story, but I’m hard-pressed to come up with anything. There is no reason for this story’s existence. I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, and I don’t want to dissuade you from writing, but you need to come up with your own ideas.