|Reviews for Beyond The Veil|
| BattleshipFusou chapter 18 . 11/16
Well that was one hell of an epic ending to that chapter. I imagine we’ll see Harry reappear sometime around the Alpha Relay incident if not sooner. It depends on how closely you choose to follow the stations of the canon.
| patrick05 chapter 1 . 11/11
That damn cliff hanger. I'm just about ready to rip my hair out. I want to know what happens next, please! On that note I cannot wait until the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
| Mr.Destructo chapter 12 . 11/5
draco should have just teleported i swear to god
| Mark chapter 11 . 10/31
"She thinks I'm the best masseuse..." No! A thousand times "no!" A masseuse is a female; a male doing that work is a masseur. I ignore most mistakes in fanfiction, but you can't change Harry's gender mid-story.
| Still great chapter 18 . 10/21
I still think you're doing a great job. Can't wait for more. Thanks for your work
| Talonwalker chapter 18 . 10/13
Really enjoying the story and looking forward to the rest. Thanks
| THEtoken1 chapter 18 . 10/9
Wait, no hello master?
| BlackRoseFire chapter 18 . 10/7
Awesome story. I can't wait to see what happens next, I loved the way that Harry has been helping Sheperds crew.
| james.mattson.7 chapter 18 . 10/4
I have to say, this chapter got the blood pumping. Will there be more or a sequel?
| renextronex chapter 15 . 10/2
why does Harry defer to Shepard like she is her boss? I mean I can understand that in the middle of an operation maybe but in deciding his next course of action? why?
| renextronex chapter 2 . 10/1
I don't understand why he didn't just kill Aria after her little stunt, he had not qualms about killing the Asari mercenary/slaver wannabe in chap 1 so i take it's not some feminist bullshit so... why?
| Robert Harrison chapter 3 . 9/29
There are spoilers in this review, deal with it.
I made it through most of this chapter before my brain gave up the ghost and started dribbling out my ears.
I got to Harry having the know how to magically (literally) terraform the Drell homeworld to it's pre-industrial state with ships ten times the size of a Soveriegn-class Reaper. He's the Shadow Broker. He's got an automated fleet of ships that do... everything... plus more shipyards than you can shake a stick at.
Oh, and he moonlights as a garden variety alliance solder so he can have a "normal life". Sure, why not?
I can understand the appeal of your version of Harry but, frankly, Gary Stu gets boring to read. Looking back, the writing was on the wall from the start of chapter one, Harry isn't just overpowered... He's got an answer for everything. You've setup him up for everything to be a cakewalk. Which means that by the time a real challenge comes along either he's the only one that can deal with it or for him to be truely challenged it has to be something absurdly over the top.
Which can be made to make sense... If the circumstances were different. 30-ish year old Harry (give or take a couple dozen-million years) shouldn't have all the answers. Couple dozen-million year old Harry (give or take 30 years) might have most of them.
I wanted to like this story, I really did. I was hoping to find a good Harry/FemShep story.
What I found was Omnipotent/Omniscient Harry #1358 and was unimpressed.
| brokenstrings001 chapter 11 . 9/24
Well its happening.
| brokenstrings001 chapter 10 . 9/24
This is gradually feeling like a checklist.
Harry brags about magic. Check
Cooks dinner and makes everyone comfortable. Check
Drag around a gag show with no apparent use in the story. Check
Flirts with the girl. Check
I've seen it in a dozen of stories so far and I noticed that is when the story just degrade and degrade.
| comodo50 chapter 18 . 9/22
Dammit you can't leave me hanging here! :(
Also, "what a fine day to die" seems to me like one of Harry's passing thought