Reviews for Beyond The Veil
NathanielTheCat chapter 2 . 9/6/2016
NathanielTheCat chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
Good. I appreciate what you are doing.
Abydmal chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
So are we going to fight indoctrinated wizards. And btw I find it strange that everyone in the magical world is missing. I highly doubt they managed to gather everything up and fit it in one journey. That would be a very stupid thing to do but wizards usually do them. Also they could have used a vanishing cabinet or something similar and safer. Seriously there can't not be some that survived under a fidelius somewhere.
O chapter 2 . 9/4/2016
This story is great! Keep up the good work!
Lydia-Hood chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
Now two things peeves me about this chapter, first the Magicals somehow all are gone... seriously wouldn't some of them, namely the descendants of the 'Light' families and the 'Muggleborns' wouldn't have left, taking over a ship and killing all the non-magicals is pretty damn evil, about only the Evilest 'Dark' Families would have been willing to go for that, so this doesn't make any sense except to wipe out the Magicals and leave Harry no one to connect to. Also wouldn't Harry have realized the new 'Mugglesborns' are not getting any magical education and he tried to find them and get them the education? Its absolutely stupid. The notion the stone could be used to terraform an entire world is also senseless, do you have any idea what sorts of energy would be required to bring life to an entire freaking world? God-like, which the Philosopher's Stone I am very doubtful is anywhere near even 1% of the potency required to achieve it. Also Harry sent a bunch of technological knowledge to Daphne, couldn't she simply have made better ships for the magicals to use instead of stealing non-magical ships? Couldn't Daphne put herself in Cryo-Sleep, that would have been a technology available at the time most likely, allowing her to wait for Harry's return indefinitely. The fact Daphne wasted the stone and everything else related to that is foolish because it obviously a ludicrous method of forcing Harry to lose his loved one so that he'll pick a ME Story female as his new girlfriend, pretty weak a plot device, just go for a multiple relationship at that freaking point, its far less senseless.

The second thing is the Salarian attack on the Quarians, they feared the Krogan and created the Genophage to manage them, rather than wipe them out, why would they attack the Quarians that have nothing really to do with them and are a non-issue to them? The Quarians aren't a threat to them in any shape or form, a minor annoyance at most, but the Salarians are logical creatures, committing genocide for shits and giggles doesn't strike me as a thing for them to do, otherwise the Batarians would have been gone long before the Quarians. It seem to me the only purpose was to artificially create a situation where the Quarians would be in Harry's debt and so more willing to accept an offer thru him of return to Rannoch, its such a weak plot twist because its so blatantly obvious.

So yea those two plot twists are so absolutely senseless it pretty much destroy my desire to keep reading this story, both of them are senseless and seem to be made only to force things up, force Harry to not have any magical connections and force the Quarians to play nice with the Geths.
Bjgaussie chapter 2 . 9/4/2016
Sounds great so far, continue when you can please.
Alex2909 chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
love how harry is fixing the galaxy little by little, especially with the quarians
god of all chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
enji-benjy chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
Another good update, I love long chapters, I like them even more when they come this quickly!

You should try and use something to denote the scene changes, either a line or ***. This will make following what is going on smoother and less jarring when the scene/location changes.

I don't think the size of the Reapers canons makes much difference; after all, in canon the guns are maneuverable, if they were the kilometers in length then they would have to be slaved in one direction and then move the ship to target, like everyone else does with their mass driver equipped ships.

Again you seam to have skipped over the rest of the galaxy's reaction to Harry wiping out an entire Turian fleet with one volley. In fact, it doesn't seam to have changed anything at all about the human's entry onto the galactic stage.
Even if the Counsel didn't deem his fleet/activity important enough to investigate before, they certainly will now that Harry's used it to give the turians a bloody nose.

You don't say what made Harry think the Salarians are indoctrinated? You give no evidence to back up the claim, even just a 'based off of what he'd seen from the Broker network...' would suffice; at least then there would be a reason other than 'they are being assholes'.

I also doubt the humans could have built a ship capable of holding the Manswell expedition and also be expanded enough to hold the entire magical population, human & animal & belonging, of Earth. There has to be some kind of limit to how much a space can be expanded, surly?

Why was there anything left in Gringotts? Wouldn't it have been taken with them to their new home? Even the unclaimed volts should have been taken, for the same reason they hadn't already been closed.

Why didn't Harry look into the investments/accounts Daphne left him?

How did Harry explain not needing a Biotic implant? In canon, only the Asari are capable of using biotics without an implant, and even some asari choose/need to use one. and most of the implants for humans tend to be limiting in some manner as the technology hasn't been perfected yet.

You list a lot of reasons why Harry washed out of the various military programs, yet they seam to be reasons to put him in for N training, especially after the slave raid he stopped.

Given the power of the Nix, it shouldn't have had much trouble with Haliats rag tag group of pirates and slavers, should that many shuttles really have got through?
sandipi chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
And that is how you greet attackers. Cool story.
Avenger13579 chapter 3 . 9/6/2016
this is a great story, hope you can keep up this pace of updating :)
Guest chapter 2 . 9/4/2016
I like the storyline so far, and I want to see more.
StrangerDanger51 chapter 3 . 9/5/2016
I just started/finished reading this today, then a few hours later you update. Awesome story man.
buterflypuss chapter 3 . 9/5/2016
starboy454 chapter 3 . 9/5/2016
excellent update
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