Ooo

Important question who da ship

While I saw this coming I am still a giggly bitch over it

... i have noticed a disappointing theme. Whether true or not, it feels like greggor is... a gary stu. It's odd and i don't mean to offend, but so far he's gotten what he wants and more, with little opposition. Tywin taking away his birthright sure it is conflict but it felt empty because the time we spent with house clegane was little. Not in the sense of impact but of the substance. Not enough emotion to have me invested in him losing his birthright. I hope the chapters after remedy this.

A small complaint, i am not opposed to confirming pairings, but the mystey in who ends up with who honestly is interesting to me and i feel a bit of dissapointment with how quick the romance feels. (Ignoring the fact that romance isn't the main genre of course.) . But nevertheless, it is good so far. I enjoy your story.

My brain js confused. I forgot if lyanna said jon targaryen or aegon. Well whatever.

Ah... I quite liked the story for around the first 20 chapters or so, but since then the pace has just fucking died, the story barely moves, it can't move, it doesn't have time to move between all the POV shifts, at the start the povs focused practically exclusively on Gregor, but at a certain turning point that changed, and now it almost never focuses on his perspective.

Maybe that would be ok if it was an original story, the original asoiaf (nah who am I kidding, I'd hate it exactly as much there)

But in here it's kinda stupid I mean this is a fanfic, we already know more or less what would be going through these characters heads (assuming we watched the show or read the original...) all it achieves is kill the pacing and bore me out of my mind, I'm disappointed, and probably not gonna finish another agonizingly slow 40 chapters of this crap.

Oh come on, don't make a cliffhanger and then flip to a distant pov, that's piss poor fuckin writing

I was wondering when melisandre would show up, but I had completely forgotten that Daenerys was quite reasonable before she went mad with greed and lust for power :D

Willas Tyrell's perspective seemed entirely irrelevant and boring, it felt like half the chapter really was just a filler for the last couple of paragraphs...

Oh man, the implications though :D Fate averted by Gregor, then course corrected by Euron Grayjoy, and then alleviated by Obara.

Isn't Jorah a bit too old for Nymeria? I mean I know he likes younger girls as evidenced by his affection for Daenerys, but isn't Nymeria even younger than Daenerys? Hell, isn't she still like 14 or 15 or something? And isn't Jorah in his 30s already?

He's underestimating these primitive men greatly.

They would all; of course; keep themselves a sample of the black powder, and they or their maesters would eventually figure out how to reverse engineer it; and when they do, his physical superiority will be rendered obsolete as all it will take to kill him will be a well placed grenade; or someone who gets clever with a metal pipe, a rock and some black powder to invent the musket.

God damn to suddenly start plaguing your chapters with alternate POVs... I strongly disapprove, all that serves to do in the end is slow down the pacing :/

Used sparingly, alternate povs can be interesting, used regularly, it's cancer.

Oof, that's complicated, I mean Gregor would forever hate Tywin for arranging a marriage with some scumbag for his sister...

But Tyrion is anything but a scumbag; however... Would she herself be able to fall in love with Tyrion? This is quite the dilemma