Reviews for A New Life |
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![]() ![]() ![]() ss |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nicely written, liking the concept. some points of criticism (and my personal opinions?For some reason, writing in Naruto POV section felt jarring, like robotic(cocky robotic if that even exists :p) That along with the info-dumpish way he mentions how he has access to all the jutsus the sharingan has copied is kind of on the nose. IMO, you could've had Naruto do all those things and then have explained how he did those in following chapter( so you'd have more time to explore and expand upon the impacts of that fact rather than having to explain it away in one line, I feel the former would've added more to the story of Mario's past) Others POV and non-pov writing flew better and was nicely done. keep up the good work |
![]() ![]() Damn good fight and chapter |
![]() ![]() Awesome chapter, absolutely loved it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yooo, that fight was dope |
![]() ![]() ![]() buen capitulo |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good fight scene, well done on finishing it especially if it was hard to write |
![]() ![]() ![]() I symathize with you lol, I remember that fight scene I wrote in The Dragonborn Returns Team SVGD (which you might have read i don't recall) that took me 6 months to write. 6 MONTHS! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh is that Kurama or Gaia? |
![]() ![]() ![]() Fight was enjoyable, have to say you dont see Naruto setting of nukes that often that don't involve tailed beast bombs. |
![]() ![]() ![]() nice |
![]() ![]() ![]() yo! massive thanks for the update, hopefully you had a good irl life, and see you soon in the next installment! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Thanks for the chapter. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think you forgot to put speech quotes on most of the dialog this chapter. makes it difficult to read |
![]() ![]() ![]() So Sorry for the punctuation problem. I've gone through it again and corrected as many as i could find. If you spot any errors, please let me know. I thank you all for your reviews! |