|Reviews for The Potter Alliance|
| RonRR chapter 13 . 7/16
Why is there a pseudo repeat of chapter 3's house table seating confrontation with Umbridge?
From chapter 3 during the confrontation:
...Susan used her excellent impersonation of the professor with a sickly sweet voice, "Actually professor, the Hogwarts guidelines and rule book which can be found in your friend Mr. Filches offices states that any member of any house can sit at any table with the exception of three days..."
This time Harry instead insists Hogwarts a History says there is no rule against it, which is far less effective and makes it seem that Susan has forgotten already.
The first appearance of this scene was far more effective, though Sprout's handling of it is better in this one. Perhaps removing from this chapter and combining the better parts of it with the first one in chalter 3 would be the best course of action.
Thank you for writing,
| RonRR chapter 8 . 7/16
Harry is part of a murder attempt that leaves at least one person dead and he is never qquestioned by the aurors? Something very fishy about that.
Thank you for writing,
| RonRR chapter 9 . 7/16
Were I in Harry's place, I would not trust Dumbledore near the potter manor ward stones after his previous actions.
It appears as if Harry could have powered them up himself with direction from either Sirius of the house elves. So why was Dumbledore really interfering and why did Sirius and Harry let him?
Thank you for writing,
| lmill123 chapter 2 . 7/14
It's been a while since I read this story. I loved how you showed how Ron and Hermione believed they could talk for Harry and even dictate who he could talk to and be friends with. And really, a lot of the trouble Harry ended up in could really be paid at the feet of Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore. And those three weren't happy seeing Harry interested in any girl except stalker Ginny.
| cobra999 chapter 24 . 7/13
good story hope next chapter soo
| Guest chapter 24 . 7/12
This is such a good story! Please write more!
| Mana's Cinder chapter 20 . 7/10
Of course the Death Eaters get to escape to fight another day... while unconscious and likely bound. What a boring cop-out. I knew it would happen from the moment any of them got knocked out of the fight, because you can't have a "mostly canon" story without the Death Eaters acting like roaches and never dying or being captured until the very end. It would be too scary to try and be original, after all. The chapter is largely pointless. You don't even have to read it because it can be summarized as "The heroes predictably didn't die because there's more to the story, and predictably the villains escaped to continue their villainy" No one died, no one was arrested, nothing really happened.
| Archleone chapter 19 . 7/10
I think it's pretty unlikely that Umbridge was nearly as competent as you portrayed her when she somehow lasted in a duel against Harry and Susan both. If anything, you could sort of look at that scene as a demonstration that Harry failed to really become actually competent or teach Susan to be competent at dueling since Umbridge is, canonically, a monstrously incompetent woman.
Then, somehow, Umbridge got off a killing curse and hit The Boy-Who-Lived in front of dozens or hundreds of witnesses because... reasons? How is it that no one was watching her or no one reacte to save him? It's not like Sirius and Remus weren't only just fighting minutes before, and a bunch of trained Aurors were around or anything. Definitely no competent adults around to save the boy hero's life.
You've overused the "Everything is fine- Oh no, someone suddenly shot a killing curse at or around Harry!" thing. It's not the kind of thing you can really get away with putting more than once in a story, and it's been two or three times so far.
Lastly, I have an issue with Sirius and Remus bringing Hermione in to help "value" the books in Sirius' library. It doesn't make any sense. Hermione is a nerd that studies a lot. That does not give her a magical ability to know the intrinsic value of old books in a Pureblood's library. There's a reason why Sirius would have to pay someone to do that as a job. It requires training and knowledge about the books in and of themselves and of wizard publishing practices. Hermione does not have this training and it's not something you just pick up while reading books at school. It's not something you learn via osmosis by being around books.
To reiterate my point, Hermione is not even remotely qualified to help Sirius and Remus with the project proposed to organized and value the books in the Black collection.
She would just nerd out about the books because she's a nerd who enjoys reading, and would basically just waste everyone's time because she would rather read everything rather than trying to price some of them to be sold off. Besides, it's the Black Family Library, which to me sounds rather private and personal and likely has at least some family magic stored away which Hermione also should not be anywhere near since she is a muggleborn and is most certainly not part of the Black Family. It's pretty annoying to see stories that make a big deal about secret magic or family magic, then turn around and have Hermione learn all of Harry's Potter Family or Black Family secrets just because she's his "best friend" or has been his girlfriend for like five minutes. It's really disrespectful.
It might sound like I'm being too harsh about something that probably doesn't matter too much, but I guess you could say part of it is a spill-over from my deep irritation at all the stupid stories that have Sirius will "The entire Black Library" or "All the books owned by the Black Family" to Hermione after he dies.
It's such a moronic idea that I get unreasonably upset at just the thought of it. She's not part of the family, she's not someone who even has the place to store said books, and ultimately it's foolishly robbing Harry of said books who might need them someday since most of the stories ALSO make Harry the new Lord Black. It makes no sense for Sirius to do that, then go ahead and take a large portion of his inheritance (the accumulated knowledge of the Black Family) and give it to someone completely unrelated just because she's Harry's "friend". It's also really short-sighted. How would it even work? Would she rent some storage units to hold the books? Or would Harry have to let her into his house to visit "Hermione's library" every time she wanted to check out a book, despite it being Harry's house and not some kind of communal living area? What if they were no longer friends?
(I think too many of those writers don't think that far ahead because they intend to make Harry and Hermione start dating almost immediately afterward anyway so it's not necessarily an issue that comes up for them, but that's just lazy writing and isn't a good excuse for the lack of sense present. Like everything falls into place like the universe planned on Hermione and Harry to start dating and thus avoid any issues caused by bad planning, such as Sirius basically willing a single room in Harry's house to someone who was at the time Harry's friend but isn't guaranteed to always be his friend. )
It might make some more sense if Sirius was instead trying to destroy the Black Family entirely by giving everything away randomly, but I think I've only ever seen that happen maybe once. Mostly because it always makes more sense for Sirius to will most everything to the Godson that he loves and who also needs all the help he can get in his fight against Voldemort. The only reason for that to change is to make it so that Harry is NOT his Godson, or make it so that Harry is dead before Sirius so the will is changed.
Anyway, that doesn't really have anything to do with this story, but I do still think that Hermione getting involved with the "Black Family Library" is a mistake for multiple reasons, some of which I've listed above before my tangent on bad cliches.
| Mana's Cinder chapter 13 . 7/10
It's kind of ironic that Susan claims that the watch is meant to remind Harry of who he is, but the watch really just says to me "You are defined by your famous scar that everyone obsesses over. You are the Boy-Who-Lived" Like the scar is important, not Harry James Potter. I think Harry would have preferred a reminder of who he is as a person and maybe of his family, not of his celebrity that he earned by not dying when his parents did.
| Archleone chapter 13 . 7/10
I think it's rather silly that you've had Umbridge try to start trouble by accusing Harry of breaking the rules by sitting at the Hufflepuff table twice now in this story. Once is fine, if a bit cliche. Twice, and it starts to look like you don't even remember what you wrote earlier in your own story.
| Morgoslos chapter 11 . 7/10
"If you don't want to wait on a woman you don't deserve her"
Oh really? I wonder, will she wait on him too? Or is that more dumb bullshit about women somehow deserving allowances for being unprepared and having poor time management skills because "Girls always take a long time and so you should accept it or else".
What's next? "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"? More retarded garbage.
If a girl takes a long time to get ready AFTER the scheduled time they were supposed to leave, that doesn't make them "girly", that makes them irresponsible. You can take all the time you want to get ready, so long as you do it BEFORE the time you're meant to leave. If you make someone late, then you're being a rude, shitty person. It's not cute and it's not acceptable.
| Cateagle chapter 24 . 7/9
*snicker* Good times all around in the summer. I rather suspect their time in Italy will be quite interesting, though, with their enemies, perhaps not as calm as they would wish.
This was quite the fun and interesting chapter and 'twill be enjoyable to watch the new plot threads arising from it.
| Dreous44 chapter 24 . 7/9
| godess bubbles chapter 24 . 7/8
Great Chapter! I'm really looking forward to seeing what else they learn and Harry going to Rome with Susan!
| Heart-adore.dramione chapter 24 . 7/8
great battle scene! overall happy to see this new chapie...