|Reviews for The Tale of the Ranger and the Chomper|
| Fox chapter 8 . 4/17
This is so unbelievably cool! I’ve read this fic once and I remembered it a few days ago so I read it again... IT IS AWESOME! And I hope you continue!
| Maxren chapter 6 . 9/25/2017
Hi again !
So I just finished all eight chapters (and have thoroughly enjoyed them, as expected), and am just coming back here to mention you might have a typo in this chapter: at one point it says "cards and wagons", when I think you meant "carts and wagons".
Anyway, best of luck with whatever has you worried/occupied IRL.
| Maxren chapter 4 . 9/21/2017
I stumbled on this piece of art a couple of weeks back, I don't even remember how. I remember thinking "sounds 'Meh', but let's bookmark it anyhow, you never know..."
I've not been this wrong in a long, long time.
So far the only thing that I could possibly nitpick at (and I'm a pain in the ass, as far is nitpicking goes) is how quickly our Lieutenant seems to get over the Garden debacle. In a so far ~50000 words-long text. This is very impressive.
Basically I'm hooked. Is what I'm trying to convey.
Anyway, just writing this at work, thanks for uploading it all, and have a good day.
| Discord1 chapter 7 . 7/19/2017
Ha! I loved the description of Finnick's 'hustle face', and how you decided to make books rare and precious in this world you've created. What a great way to speak on Nick's character :). The whole scene with Leodore was a lot of fun, as well as Nick and Judy's exchange in the inn near the end - I admit, I'm envious how you incorporate so much character thought/expression into your dialogue - it's done very naturally and makes your exchanges so... authentic. I know we have very different writing styles, but feel free to give me a few pointers in that same direction during our next beta session - I would love to grow in that area.
Also, there's only one more chapter left for me, but I notice it's another 'part 1'. Does this mean 'part 2' is already written, and possibly on its way to my inbox soon?
| Discord1 chapter 6 . 7/17/2017
I loved your descriptions of the gypsies Judy met down by the river, and the scene between her, Ben and Finnick ). Wonderful banter, lots of subtle humor, and great characterizations! I will say (only because I adore you and want you to know), there are several times in this chapter (more so than I've noticed in others) where you use the word 'to' instead of 'at', and the frequency gets a bit distracting. Otherwise, a satisfying installment (as always).
| Discord1 chapter 5 . 7/15/2017
Oh, this was so... oh! The whole brothel scene was great - how you wrote Nick transforming himself to be inconspicuous, how uncomfortable Judy was, and then their great banter after. I see the seeds of WildeHopps beginning to germinate, yes? You have Nick's character so well defined in this - when he was questioning Ethan, again transforming himself, I was transported to the world you've created. Completely captivated. Your prose is so rich and vibrant, I truly had to savor this read. Thank you :)
| Discord1 chapter 4 . 7/3/2017
Very exciting chapter here Cas! Lots of action! That alley scene was terrifying (and wonderfully described). I've also got super feels for your dialogue between Nick and Judy, great exchange. I loved how he kept asking himself if it was a good thing she was rousing :)
| SW chapter 8 . 6/21/2017
Love your work.
| HawkTooth chapter 8 . 6/21/2017
Well, finally caught up on this monster of a story (only 8 installments and already over 130,000 words? Color me impressed), and certainly there're more than a few details of interest to keep me awaiting the next chapter (whenever it comes, I doubt I'll have issue waiting a while; quite the chunk of reading for any one installment). As I noticed others have commented on this chapter, quite amused by the description of Nick snuffling around the room as he was, and I may have to adapt bits of that behavior to some scenes of my own; far too entertaining to leave be.
Also, I'd say I'm almost positive Nick's at least distantly acquainted with the Savage fellow (gee, wonder who that could be? Another rabbit making waves, bet he's got stripes on his face), and if that fleshes out in truth it ought to be quite interesting how Judy copes with it. Considering all she's been thrown through this tale already I have little doubt she might be starting to question the workings of the country she's sworn to defend, and she's the kind of character as proven already who will push the boundaries to do what's ultimately right even if others frown upon her for such.
That brings me somewhat to my last comment for now: not quite sure how I feel about Gazelle's portrayal here. Overall still similar to the original character, big heart if a little more brash with her background that we've been told now here, but she's committed the same act toward Judy that she hated other prey for: judgement based on a stereotype. She may have tried to be kind about telling Judy off, but would that really be the best way to treat someone trying to set at least what little she could straight? Judy has her faults, but I think she's demonstrated well enough that she's not like the other rangers in Zootopia...
| DrummerMax64 chapter 8 . 6/19/2017
Score one for the good guys! :D Seriously, these two are a real dream team, they work so well together and know how to pull off a good hustle. Finally they've gotten a break in the case that could very well bear fruit and aid in their search for the missing predators.
Overall, tremendous work! I've said it so many times already, but once again, I just have to commend you on your attention to detail in this story. You're so thorough and comprehensive with the descriptions and the thoughts going through these characters' minds. On top of that, I'm absorbed in the investigation and astounded by how skillfully you're explaining each step Nick and Judy are taking to solve the case. You really do put a lot of thought into each aspect of this story. Bravo! :)
That scene with Gazelle was quite interesting, and the epiphany that Judy experienced after listening to the gypsy's story was profound as well. Her dawning realization about how unjust and ignoble society is at the moment was well described, and it's an important moment in the development of her character too. I was even shocked too when Gazelle requested that Judy keep her distance, as if she didn't want to be associated with the bunny ranger. It just goes to show how terrible the current state of affairs is in the city.
In addition, that scene in the elephant's establishment was a real hoot! I was on pins and needles the entire time that they would be found out and asked to leave the premises. Leave it to these two though to know how to formulate a plan and take control in a rapidly deteriorating situation. That could have gone very badly. And both of them being extra snarky at the end, knowing they had won, was the icing on the cake. So good! XD
Looking forward to the second part of this chapter! It's an awesome one so far!
| HawkTooth chapter 4 . 6/19/2017
Normally I don't get very int AU's and such, but every now and then I find one that strikes an interest; it appears this happens to be one. Only so far through what's been written (long chapters, which I rather like so thanks for that, and limits on the time I can spend reading sadly) but I rather like where this is going.
That said, there is one thing I have to mention at this point: I don't know if you did so after this chapter yet or not, but if you don't have one you should consider getting someone to beta read your writings, as there are a couple of glaringly obvious grammar problems that keep popping up; most notably, it's equals "it is" and not a possessive term as has been used here in just about every other paragraph (replace just about every instance of that word with the apostrophe-lacking "its" and the writing would be fine). And, when one character is speaking, if their speech continues after the end of a single section, you don't place end quotations in that paragraph, only beginning quotations in the next. End quotations are only given when the character finishes their entire section of speech and the focus of the scene changes (either to someone else speaking, or to the scene itself).
| Cimar of Turalis WildeHopps chapter 8 . 6/18/2017
Absolutely loved this chapter! You are showing just how much time goes into these types of investigations and the behind the scenes work that are sometimes glossed over. The interactions that the characters had in each of these experiences really showcased your talent for describing all these circumstances.
The scene with Gazelle was particularly outstanding in showcasing how all mammals have prejudices and can take them to an extreme. I was liking her character until she revealed herself and what she thought of Judy, even when she'd seen herself what the bunny was doing for predators. So well done and so accurate to experiences I've seen in my own life, so you really nailed that scene. That and I'm now hoping that Gazelle will have a Gideon-esque change of heart.
The scene build up inside and outside the elephant hostel was brilliantly designed and built up. I loved Nick and Judy's reactions, especially around the lizard out there. Their banter back and forth is amazing to read and was quite in tune with how they acted in the movie. Their wit matched their knowledge and research that each had, and both balanced each other out. Seeing Judy distracting the elephant owner while Nick searched was a fun discussion to read and again showed off your talent for writing these characters in this time period.
And all of this topped off with Nick's usual sarcasm in offering everyone desserts on the house. So well done! :D This chapter left me riveted to my screen to see what the elephant would do to Judy and Nick, angry at Gazelle, joyous at Nick and Judy's banter back and forth. Excellent chapter CC and so very well done! Bravo!
| syhsnakey chapter 8 . 6/16/2017
Oh god just imagining gypsy nick sniffling about is adorable! Hehe, i love this story so much, excellent job on this chapter. I love it 3
| Combat Engineer chapter 8 . 6/16/2017
Nick's sniffing lap around the room had me clutching my sides imagining what that'd look like. Another fantastic chapter filled with details galore. And Gazelle, what a scene that was. Judy's finally realizing that her entire world is built on evil and horrific deeds.
| winerp chapter 7 . 6/12/2017
Alrighty! Fully caught up now.
For starters, I see no problems with your chapter organization. Since you're pretty much narrating full days here, it's not too far-fetched to see a particular chapter grow to ridiculous sizes, so splitting them like this for the bigger ones is probably for the best. And you seem to know where and when to split to avoid cutting the reader's train of thought, so props there as well.
So let's look at three things here: the world, the characters and the plot.
The medieval setting works well for this story, and you're clearly experienced - or gifted, either works ;) - at world building, since you've managed to paint a very clear picture of the story's setting, both through direct description (mostly for the physical world) and expositional dialogue (mostly for the society and its culture and customs). The city feels alive, exciting and bustling when needed and bleak and deserted when called for.
Creating AUs always brings with it a certain risk as far as characters are concerned: while adapting them to their new environment, one might forego some traits which previously made them instantly recognizable. I'm happy to report that's not the case. Nick and Judy are, well, Nick and Judy! Including most of the police into Nick's posse works pretty darn well and gives it a sense of familiarity and Flash as an inn keeper is just brilliant. Reusing old Swinton as the current mastrmind with Dawn being a pawn is both refreshing and recognizable and Savage being a military leader fighting for (or at least with) predators is oddly fitting!
Plot-wise, I have to say, creating two threads which both lead to the same organization and having Nick and Judy following them separately before meeting was a darn good idea. And the hints at Nick being more than he's giving on are well placed... Personally, I'm betting on Nick having met Savage at some point after he'd already formed his group and agreeing to help him. Speaking of which, the faint connection between a few disappearances in the capital and the war raging in the north is well maintained and permanently keeps us guessing as to how far things go. Though I have my suspicions as to Swinton and her boss' goals...
I am very much looking forward to the rest of this tail, and you can count on my undivided attention.