|Reviews for The Fifth Gym Leader|
| ILikeShorts chapter 1 . 1/20
Glad I happened upon this one. It doesn't waste words, and the emotions come through big time. The first line hits hard. The last line hits hard. And the line about having hoped to finally understand what was so important to Norman that it kept him away from his own family really resonates.
I also think the title works incredibly well, with the impersonal feeling it conveys. Fifth Gym Leader, not Father. I see what you did there.
| RatherFu chapter 1 . 12/18/2019
DDDDDAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYMMMMM THAT WAS GOOD
| TetrisEffect chapter 1 . 11/16/2017
I thoroughly enjoyed these thoughts of the son or daughter of Norman giving the gym leader backlash for never being there for his child. After you do defeat him I remember his pushing the player character to continue on and virtually conquer the region like he or she is an extension of himself. Even the one time he is home after you defeat the league, you talk to him once, he gives you an item, and afterwards Norman returns to his gym.
Yeah- I never liked game! Norman too much either.
| An Author's Pen chapter 1 . 9/18/2017
That ending line burned.
I really enjoyed the conversational style - it flowed very well. It's easy to imagine this as the thoughts running through the character's head at this moment. They're talking to Norman, but really they're talking to themself. The Norman thing is quite interesting to explore as one of many absentee fathers in pokemon, made all the more hateful by the voluntary nature of his absence.
| Keleri chapter 1 . 4/8/2017
Ha! This speaks to me, the absentee dad versus the amazing person who everyone praises but who you, in fact, have never met. Short and sweet, and very clear prose. Very nice!
| ChocolateTeapot chapter 1 . 11/3/2016
Nice work! This is interesting and well written. The ending is very powerful.
| great gospel chapter 1 . 11/1/2016
I loved everything about this - how there was this kind of bitterness, but mostly just a calm acceptance that they have no familial feelings towards their father. I love the bite to their words and how they just leave mid-sentence. Great work.
| RyseUP chapter 1 . 10/31/2016
wow... just wow. very thought provoking and makes a ton of sense actually. thanks far sharing!