|Reviews for One Small Step at a Time|
| seireidoragon chapter 1 . 8/23
I think you did alright with this although I'm probably not the best to give advice. I found nothing wrong with your writing and I liked how you ended the story.
| lil joker 1989 chapter 1 . 8/7/2017
Really enjoyed this story
| CosmicEssence chapter 1 . 5/14/2017
Think you did pretty good for a first time. Wasn't too wordy at all! In fact you kept it fairly simple so we knew what was happening with a little detail mixed in nd a lot of smuttiness.
In fact you could have added a bit more detail in certain parts to 'really' get the message across. For instance: instead of this line 'his movements lost rhythm. He almost felt like...(etc)'
'as his hips jerked erratically losing rhythm, he felt like a horny teenager again desperate to finish' (essentially the same overall meaning but with more specific 'sex' type adjectives). I find that because its a full body experience (whether you're using the whole body or not) - as long as you don't try to make it an 'essay-length' on the body through descriptive words - you need to include more 'body' words to show what's happening. You did good with their hands, and that whole bit where Wade pulls Spidey down on top, you could have mentioned hips more (those being the primary force here it'd would have been okay to refer to them more...remember sex is essentially about repetition),
It did come off a little hesitant but I think the character's situation and uncertainties worked in your favour there so it added to the storyline.
Don't bet yourself up though. It was a good read. Try, try and try again :D (sorry if I ranted a bit, was just going off smut stories I've read and liked)
| TRASHiNiMA chapter 1 . 12/4/2016
Your story was so ... fucking sexy and if I may say, also super cute ! I love the way they feel for each others. Great work, thanks you !
| AriesDanger24 chapter 1 . 12/2/2016
I hope there's more of this, I enjoyed this and the characters are pretty interesting indeed~ smexy~~~
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/7/2016
This story was just perfect ;) great work! ~3