Reviews for The Wizarding Chronicles : Return of the True Descendant |
---|
![]() ![]() Meu deus a mesma enrolação de sempre, agora que o parasita se soltou só vai ser destruído no penúltimo capítulo, pra no último fica uma coisa bonita, realmente deprimente. |
![]() ![]() ![]() j'adore ton histoire mais je ne peux plus traduire en français car sa ne fait que beugué alors je suis désolée de ne pas pouvoir la finir |
![]() ![]() Please get rid of Ron. The biggest millstone around Harry's neck |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really love your style. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I am curious if you'll ever write the redo of this story, or continue writing in general, but I figured I'd leave this here in case you do. The story has got a lot of interesting threads, but multiple rereadings really show the weak spots: - There are the weird flashbacks that didn't need to be written out of chronological sequence. Flashbacks aren't bad, but you turned the use of them into a part of the narrative. - There are quite a few continuity issues where the story changes or backtracks on things. An obvious one was the Wizengamot announcement that had Harry revealed to be Lord Slytherin...and then characters would randomly not know he was. From what I can see from the posting/update dates, you were basically posting (and writing?) a chapter every two or three days. That type of schedule is insane unless the story is already finished as a lot of issues would constantly fall through the crack. - The biggest issue of the story though is the characters. They effectively do whatever the plot needed them to. Susan's actions about Fleur had no setup, Dumbledore is all over the place, Harry didn't need to keep as many secrets from Daphne as he was, and Sal's attitude between the last chapter and this (74 and 75) is baffling. He goes from explaining why he joined Orio, how Flamel is overly cautious with Harry because of Flamel's fear Harry will turn into Orion to, and how he's borderline teaching Harry the blood magic out of spite because he believes in Harry to...suddenly having a fear Harry will turn into Orion. Last Peverell really shows your growth as a writer, and I'd be interested in seeing this story done with your improved skills. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Incredible emotional story and chapter thanks for sharing nintschi |
![]() ![]() ![]() Headstrong and unsteady kinda screams hermiome |
![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah Agustin wouldn’t know that spell. Snaps made it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This version of dumbledore is a bit more creative with his punishments. He’s also trying to teach them lesions while doing so. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The using my cunning is just not how anyone possibly would ever speak. Talking about using cunning like a tool is not how people talk about characteristics |
![]() ![]() ![]() I’ve just finished reading WC knowing it wouldn’t be finished, a pity really but it’s still a good story and plot. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hermoine is acting like a obsess ex girlfriend who can't take no or a break up for an answer |
![]() ![]() ![]() aren't Harry should be heir/lord of house Peverell too? |
![]() ![]() Please٫keep going this piece of art٫next story Harry X Fleur٫ Harry X Dark Hermione |
![]() ![]() Please!...keep going, this deserves to continue. A new story focused in Harry X Fleur, Harry X DarkHermione... |