|Reviews for The Undisputed|
| Tassadar112 chapter 20 . 10/14
Nice Miracle of Sound in the note.
| Murtag172 chapter 31 . 10/6
what an amazing story. I hope to see it updated again
| Arch-Daishou00 chapter 31 . 9/28
May their be more chapters of this amazing story!
| etheral-23 chapter 31 . 9/27
if I may inquire your opinion for something; If I'm not wrong the Terminous systems should have alien species non-aligned with the Council right? But all we see are groups of the same species that left the Council Space. And the Council always worries about war with the Terminus, but it's hard to see them worry about a possible conflict when all we've seen are pockets of pirates of other criminals.
What's your take on that? Would you state in your story there are other species there?
| Kenislav chapter 30 . 9/20
Just sitting here... sad... waiting for more updates of the best fanfiction story EVER... :(
| Epic chapter 31 . 9/19
Can't wait for more
| Andrithir chapter 4 . 9/1
I'm liking this story so far. However the dialogue comes across a bit unnatural, and everybody seems to have the same voice. What I mean by this is no one sounds different, and say a bit more than necessary.
Don't be afraid to put context in your prose and not your dialogue. I'll give you an example of how you can trim down.
So you wrote:
“For lack of a better term, Normandy served as my taxy for the purposes of this mission. Things might change once this whole deal with the Prothean beacon is resolved.”
“Right,” she said slowly. “And on that note, I have to thank you for saving my ass again when that thing began pulling me in. That was twice in one day.”
“Any time, Ash; that’s what brothers and sisters are for.”
"Normandy's just my taxi for this op. Things might change when it's over."
"Right," she said slowly. "Well, thanks for saving my ass today. Twice."
"Don't mention it, you'd have done the same."
Largely gets the point of what you want to make across to the reader, but without sounding too verbose.
| Kellhound chapter 31 . 8/15
I've finally managed to make it all the way up to the current events of this story. And what a ride it was! I was initially on the fence about a story with MaleShep and no FemShep/Garrus, but you won me over in that first chapter and I've not looked back since!
This story has kept me on the hook ever since I'd discovered it, and applaud you on your story arch's and character developments!
| mr.grey23 chapter 6 . 8/12
One thing I noticed that I liked, was that it felt like Shepard actually earned his specter rank with the way he handled the hearing. Unlike in the game or other fanfics that the console gave it to him just to shut up Udina, and to sweep Saren's involvement with the attack on Eden prime.
| Rake1810 chapter 31 . 7/27
Again Wrexs comments make way more sense then anything. Great chapter, great story and I hope to see you update it again someday.
| Rake1810 chapter 16 . 7/27
That scene in Exogeni is officially my favorite mass effect scene ever. Seriously. I get why a scene like that isn’t in the game but I’m blown away it’s not in more fanfiction.
| Yolodysseus chapter 27 . 7/25
The admiral meeting was really fun to read. I hope we get to see all these new technologies in action sometime.
| Rune Landel chapter 31 . 7/1
LOVE IT! I know it's been a while since your last update, however I really hope you are still typing away :). I really enjoy this more driven and thinking ahead Shepherd and Sys Alliance. Can't wait to find out what happens next!
| SaintMichael95 chapter 31 . 6/19
I really hope you haven't abandoned this, but considering that it's been almost 7 months it seems like you have.
| antonio.cue.gervas chapter 28 . 6/15
I hope your current case of writer's block is over soon... this is a seriously good fix here