|Reviews for Angel and Demon|
| GamerGaz chapter 5 . 4/8/2019
Absolutely Awesome! Thanks for taking your time to write this! I had a blast reading it.
Looking forward to more!
| GoHaNViDeLSoN chapter 5 . 6/10/2017
I must say that I admire the ingenuity in your idea. Two time-travelling daughters from alternate timelines with different mother for each of them.
| smithback chapter 5 . 2/10/2017
| EgyLynx chapter 5 . 2/10/2017
Oh end already? Next story, please!
| Smithback chapter 4 . 2/3/2017
| EgyLynx chapter 4 . 2/3/2017
... intresting... how that continues?
| TL chapter 3 . 1/29/2017
In one of the paragraphs you meant to type "bonded" but you typed "boned." And I don't think Gohan boned that girl over magic lol.
Might want to fix that :)
| R chapter 3 . 1/28/2017
It looks like its back to the time chamber with you Gohan. Lol on how Pan lost to the kids. The boys had just about turned super saiyan during this point in time too. I wonder how Gohan reacts to knowing his eventual marriage to Videl. Poor Launch for never getting together with Tien. Can the Z-fighters prepare for the incoming chaos, or will the Earth be destroyed by Buu this time around?
| R chapter 2 . 1/24/2017
This is a good fic. I never read a story that involves two people traveling to the past from two different timelines besides Trunks and Cell. It is going to be awkward between Gohan and Videl when they find out who's Pan's mother. It is going to be funny as well. Pan is also going to find out about how multiverse is a bitch as Abridged Cell calls it because her and Chiko's presence will cause this timeline to split from her own and possibly resulting in a different version of her as well as giving the Z-fighters the chance to prepare for Buu in comparison to canon. This also includes the fact that Erasa and Sharpener will be involved in these events as well as seeing what Gohan has to deal with on a daily basis alongside Videl.
| Your Cute Onee-chan chapter 2 . 1/23/2017
Good chapter. I can't wait until Erasa and Videl realize they both had a kid with Gohan. That'll be awkward.
| Knight of elves chapter 2 . 1/22/2017
This is a great story. I hope that you continue it. Please don't give up on it!
| tom.x21 chapter 1 . 1/22/2017
| duskrider chapter 2 . 1/22/2017
Nice start and it seems like Gohan's secret is going to get out since he will care more about family than his secret.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/2/2017
Happy New Year Sucker.
| Legendary Biologist chapter 1 . 12/31/2016
Hi, Fee! I am not blind to DBZ, although my memory may be a bit fuzzy (especially about GT) since it's been years I watch the show.
Starting with a jealous Pan is a nice way to begin the story. It makes me feel for her, wondering if she will eventually find a fitting guy for her. Especially the sentiments in which Pan hates herself because she can't be happy to see Trunks and Marron so happy with the engagement.
It's funny how everything is triggered by Pan's character. She's just that quick-tempered, although Bra's joke is a little overboard. Really, Pan should end up with Uppa? Um... Not really fitting methinks. :P But imagining that gives me a chuckle.
A bit confused with the Android Timeline: is that referring to the future after the Androids are defeated or the future in which Goku dies of his heart disease?
Pan's portrayal is very in character for her. She's that spunky, hot-headed, and quick-tempered, which doesn't lead to anything good. She ends up blasting Goten with a ki attack and causing her uncle to lose the sparring match haha. :P
Since this is a prologue, it's pretty much understandable if others' characterization is still lacking (though the mentions of some characters are spot-on: Uppa, Goku, and Vegeta always think about fighting and getting stronger), so I'm looking forward to future development!
Throughout the writing, one of the issues is the sentence structure. Such as when Pan's ki attack distracts Goten, the sentence can actually be split into two standalone sentences (and being an action scene, short sentences are the best). In addition, if you start a sentence with a verb before continuing with a subject, be sure that the subject is the one who is affected by the verb. There, it's supposed to be Goten who gets distracted, so I'd suggest this fix: [Distracted by the misfire, Goten took a fist to his face and crashed to the ground.]
Also, you used two [instead] when Goten was hit. One will suffice. :)
I also notice that you used too many [blast] in rapid succession. Try varying it. Maybe you can replace it with [a ball of pure energy] or [a ki sphere] or [a ki laser] (the latter is used only if you intend to describe Pan using the laser form of ki attack), etc.
Punctuation issues I notice: when a character's name appears in a speech because a character is calling/talking to them, use a comma before and/or after the name. For example: ["That's not funny[,] Pan,"]
I notice that both sections end with a character making a wish and someone suddenly goes missing (AKA wish granted), so it makes me wonder if the dragons are involved. Also, with Pan and Chiko (Trunks' wife) disappearing because of the wishes, I wonder if this will affect the timeline as a whole. This prologue sure hints an intense time-travel story.