|Reviews for Smoke, Sorcery, and Steel|
| DomR1997 chapter 4 . 3/17/2019
I love it, you've made your own little grimdark universe using two awesome game franchises.
| V-rcingetorix chapter 8 . 10/1/2018
This chapter was - confusing. Oleg betrayed the Hounds, and Murphy the former ally seems to have become a 'roid rage juggernaut. But the confusing part is in how all this hinges on the Outsider. Are there Reapers? Is Saren the Reaper analogue still?
It's a beautiful chapter, don't get me wrong, one of the best combat scene's you've written. The emotional tension has been building for the entire story so far, but I'm not sure if this is the emotional climax or not. And does this decision process put Jack back into Outsider favor ...?
Many questions. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Kaiya Azure chapter 8 . 10/1/2018
One thing bothers me. Jack had to find out from his own people that they were being killed by some one who didn't even make sure Jack got the memo. Oleg being a traitor, the Royal Protector being augmented in a way that's probably illegal, and even the stubborn refusal to accept Jack's way of redemption are okay. I'd probably need to reread things to make sure the attack was really the will of the Empress, but the fact remains that Jack didn't get the message before they started killing his people.
| titan616 chapter 7 . 9/8/2018
Great introductions to Thane and Delilah! Jack had an interesting strategy for dealing with the whole Nassana problem as well.
| Cratica chapter 7 . 9/2/2018
You know I just got a strange idea. What if in the DLC the death of the outsider was in this case at some end point where the Illusive Man makes a deal to switch places with the outsider. Here is my reasons for bringing it up:
1. The Illusive Man was for Humans to stand on top in that allowing humans full potential to be unleashed instead of being leashed by the council does it with the most stupid way possible[I blame the writers of Mass effect 3 for this]).
2. The outsider is in a prison for eternity until someone either kills him or sets him free according to the DLC(I am just using the most bare bones of the bare bone facts about the DLC).
3. From the your story so far indicates that The Illusive Man would want to continue, but, also, be punished at the same time while helping humanity. He has committed crimes and is going to commit more. They will take a toll on him, and what those are you can do since you already made a great one with Desollus, and other parts such as the Empire and the brotherhood.
4. You can do a spin off or set this as an end point or the end point of the story.
This is a good story so I hope to see this continued.
| Eins minus zwei chapter 7 . 8/22/2018
This is underrated.
| V-rcingetorix chapter 7 . 8/22/2018
Ahhh, the good 'ol Dantius Towers mission. One of my favorite side-quests, with an even better character revealed at the end.
Grammatically speaking, I ain't able to complain. The only spot I could see was:
"The shadow faded from whence it came, (:) indescribable oblivion."
I'm assuming the new Goddess is derived from Dishonored 2? It feels like a character from the Dishonored realm, like a younger protege of the Outsider that went rogue eons ago. The green flashes indicate Prothean involvement though, which is a good addition, given the Athame references. Having Samara involved just makes the whole thing more complete, wending the thread back to the original ME2 mission.
For the krogan, I'm not sure he'd die even with a Minié ball, which is what the bullet appears to be. Canonically, the #1 killer of krogan stopped being 'wildlife' after the invention of gunpowder, but the overall design of the Minié ball would be more likely to give a krogan a concussion than a head-shot. The biggest injuries through the Civil War from this munition was broken bones/organs if I recall aright, Minié balls were so big and slow they could be seen flying across the battlefield.
But that's a minor quibble, especially in a sci/fi universe.
Glad to see your alert in the e-mail! Release may be slower, but quality has only increased. Keep up the good work!
| Scriptura chapter 7 . 8/22/2018
Very good update! Like always, the quality of this story is vastly superior to the majority of the fanfics on this site, being closer to being a professional work as narrative structure and grammar refers. Your setting feels original, merging both Mass Effect and Dishonored to make a story that feels like his own thing. The only thing that i dont like very much is that in some parts its difficult to make sense of what is happening. Sometimes i feel like the story gets very confusing, with a lot of things being implicit that force me to reread it. But i think that in this last chapter you addressed that and now it feels smoother to the lector. But take this with a grain of salt, my primary lenguage is spanish, so sometimes i need to look for a word of two when reading a work with a lot of descriptions like this.
So yeah, keep up with the fantastic work! You are making something very unique here. Dont feel discouraged by the "lack" of feedback, a lot of mediocre and boring fanfics get a lot of attention of this site, and sometimes the high quality of a work makes it less apeeling to the common denominator. Cheers from Argentina!
| AraelDranoth chapter 1 . 3/11/2018
Excellent writing but I'm not sure how I feel about the setup itself. It's very different to what I had imagined going into the fic.
| Kylia chapter 2 . 2/26/2018
The Outsider as the origin for Jack Harper and Cerberus - Oleg and Miranda, the Udina Tie-in...
Very clever. I love it.
| Kylia chapter 1 . 2/26/2018
A fascinating fusion of the settings. I love it.
| Guest chapter 6 . 1/1/2018
Kind of a useless review, I suppose, but just wanted to let you know that I find your story absurdly good. Be it grammar, style, creativity(!) - it's all top-notch stuff. Thank you for writing!
| V-rcingetorix chapter 6 . 12/17/2017
As always, excellent work. The descriptive components here mix just enough detail and vague hints to make it feel realistic. Specifically, the 'rending gear' that no one else sees, and the little details about the Keepers. You actually only referenced the organic form of the Keepers once, in a very short sentence, and yet that little bit added a great deal to the tale.
Having Saren as a sympathetic character is good too. The game tried to mix that in, but wasn't as effective, so gratz! You beat out a dozen paid story writers on their own playing field!
The only criticism I can come up with is the Outsider. Granted, I haven't played Dishonored 2 yet, but the first game didn't quite share the same flavor for the Outsider as yours. The game seemed a bit more ... chaotic, if you will. Your Outsider gives the impression of purpose, a grand overarching plan.
A strength to that is story plot, but the downside is how every alien race seems to hate humanity, for the Outsider's interference. That deliberate interference, it would seem.
However, it's a small quibble, and I am enjoying having many other questions to ponder. Did the Outsider do a bit of gene tinkering with Humanity? How is Shepard dealing with his sudden 'recruitment'? Assuming Shepard gains the Outsider's mark, what details are making Shepard more inclined in such a way, against the grain of society?
Keep up the good work!
| pt1oef chapter 6 . 12/17/2017
You make good details every time.
| ManwithaPlan113 chapter 5 . 11/13/2017
A senseless death. It speaks of trouble brewing in the future