|Reviews for Into The Black|
| Team503 chapter 13 . 1/5/2020
Gahhhhhhh why must every good HPXSW crossover remain abandoned (with apologies to Darth Marrs)?
A wonderful story, well written and nuanced. I hope that there are future updates!
| jubileemarie chapter 13 . 1/1/2020
I must admit that I'm frustrated that you just... abandoned this story when it was really getting good. I hope one day soon you'll pick it back up and keep on truckin'.
| Hello chapter 13 . 12/17/2019
A hope you'll have time and the will to continue !
Great story !
| kirosyamcha chapter 13 . 11/16/2019
Wish this story continued :(
| kirosyamcha chapter 9 . 11/15/2019
Wow is this whole story going to revolve around them being on that planet I understand detail but this is beyond the necessary I think.. that said I love the writing style and the story is good.. just wish it went else where
| alexis chapter 13 . 11/5/2019
votre histoire est incroyable je suis impatient la suit. Est ce que le couplage est un polygamoure car il sera intéresent de voir le couple de hermione , harry et aayla car ils sont mignon en semble.
| Mutant Ascension chapter 1 . 11/2/2019
Yeah they're not going to find their way back both civilizations that use Gates like those are gone if I remember correctly.
| Chronicler Sionnach chapter 13 . 11/1/2019
What a great story so far! I love how the Jedi purge ended up and would absolutely love seeing more to this story! I might have read everything you’ve posted without stopping...
| sharahreads chapter 13 . 10/29/2019
Such an interesting story! I hope you one day continue it. I'm primarily a reader of Harry Potter fanfiction but I also like Star Wars as well. I like being introduced to all these characters and watching the plot unfold from a different perspective. I also like the impact Harry and Hermione have had so far on the timeline of things. Here's hoping for another update! Great work! :)
| DaSalvatore chapter 6 . 10/3/2019
I have to say that I'm really conflicted with this story. I'm completely fine with the premise even though I personally feel that the time-turner saving of the Jedi is a somewhat easy way to get Harry/the magical(s) to be seen as a friend compared to other points along the timeline they could have turned up. It's not a negative per se, more that I would have found it more interesting to have them turn up earlier in the war so everyone was suspicious of them and they could have influenced things from there rather than the "if it wasn't for you we'd all be dead" door opening this starting point always has.
No, my conflict with this story actually started with it being one where the main character and the main focus of the narration aren't the same people. Harry saved Aayla, Harry is looking for Sirius, Harry did the Imperio/Obliviate, Harry even packed for the journey. It took six chapters to get the first Harry POV moments and then that practically immediately switched to normal third-person and then Aalya's.
I'm not too sure about the Imperio/Oblivate scene at all, really. More so, I'm confused about Harry's distaste for the spell considering he used it to get Hufflepuff's Cup. I obviously understand him not wanting to use either of the other two or just having a dislike of the spell and only willing to use it in specific situations but the utter distaste and self-hatred he seemed to feel towards the entire thing came across as disproportionate with the limited information the narrative gave. Saying how he hated having to break another's mind/will or he felt their personalities "die" would have had it make more understandable outside of the "it's an Unforgiveable and so shouldn't be used" argument. I'd have also liked to know why the Imperio is considered horrible to a Jedi's senses when they use mind tricks and compulsions almost all the time.
I bring this up because you reiterated this with the meal scene the next day. Now don't get me wrong, I understand being concerned over dominating the minds of others, but the conversation itself brought up something that doesn't make sense. Harry can cast a spell that totally dominates the mind of another person and do so with enough power that he can control an ENTIRE ROOM of people. Yet he can't cast a stunner or sleeping spell to do the exact same thing? It's logically inconsistent as all the Unforgiveables are known to require a bucket load of power when used normally. Despite this, the actual conversation is well-paced with solid back and forth moments and feels totally organic and not a scene with three talking heads.
Yet even with how well you wrote that scene, there's a lot of it that feels forced. Harry could easily have said that they were involved in a battle where the time-turners were kept and all but that one was destroyed. Instead, he brings up the Ministry and even the Department of Mysteries by name. Now obviously I'm not saying that they should keep everything secret, but it seems like they give out far more information than they really should even if it's just names to Aayla and nothing more.
And I'll be honest, I really don't like the idea of the different sides of the Force being sentient. If you're going off the Clone Wars then I can only assume that the Mortis and Father/Daughter/Son story arc happened in this universe. If that's the case then what you've explained with the Dark Side being its own entity within the Force is akin to the Son having a master he answered to. Those three are the aspects of the three parts of the Force, so either the Son is the sentience Aayla is talking about or he is that sentience's slave just like Dark Lords. The Force being a triumvirate of sentience also doesn't work from a logical standpoint because it appears throughout canon and Legends that neither the Light Side nor the Balance sentience of the Force are able to do anything against the Dark Side. Or if they can, they simply don't and expect mortals to fight their battles instead.
There's also the fact that the Dark Side, much like Dark Magic, can mutate and deform the body when used too much. In effect, making the Dark Side having its own sentience is akin to having the radiation end of the electromagnetic spectrum having its own sentience.
This doesn't mean I'm totally against the concept. Finding out this "sentience" is an aeons old Darth who has infected the Force in some way would be a fantastic twist. Unfortunately, I don't see you going that route at all. Even Hermione's theory that those aligned with each side influence the alignment when they die makes no sense considering the sheer numbers of Jedi/Light or Neutral Force users who have died vs the number of Dark Force users. I mean, yeah, it's probably closer if you're including the Infinite Empire but even then, and especially since Bane's Rule of Two, the figure should be more on the light than the dark if that's how it really works.
Your scenes involving Shaak Ti, the Temple evacuating and everything else in chapter 5 were absolutely amazing to read. It honestly gave me goosebumps. It was a fantastic weave of scenes and emotions and I definitely include Vader's in that. A masterful job, well done.
There's a few nitpicks that didn't sit right; Harry being comfortable in cooking when both Juno and Crookshanks are around. I'm not sure if you really thought this through but you had both Harry and Hermione living apart and in separate relationships. This little tidbit means that the two of them would have routinely taken their pet to the other's house to the point where both animals were totally comfortable with each other as well as often enough for Harry to be used to it during him cooking dinners. Now sure, I know a few people who take their dogs to visit people but those are the small kinds but never their cat. And it's not like either animal isn't left alone when their owners are at work so the excuse of them being lonely as the reason behind going along for the apparition doesn't work. Especially with how jealous Ron and Ginny are stated as being. I know it's a small detail but these worldbuilding nuggets can really make or break a story if they make the reader go "what the hell?"
So yeah, I'm totally conflicted with this story and I'll have to come back to read the rest of the chapters. It's a really well-written story with some great scenes, solid dialogue, a fun concept that's being handled differently to Last Second Saviour enough that it is its own unique creature, and the addition of Hermione and the fact that this trip was scheduled rather than an accident makes it all the more interesting. Unfortunately, there are enough small and medium-sized areas that just don't work or I can't easily skim past. It's as though I'm watching a really good movie only chunks of the audio is a few seconds out of sync or listening to a great album but with one or two of the instruments out of tune/timing.
| Amargi'sNodachi chapter 13 . 9/27/2019
Just wish I could see how the Amedala issue resolves itself
| Amargi'sNodachi chapter 12 . 9/27/2019
Other titles for this chapter:
“There’s no way this goes badly for me“ -Palpy
“What has no legs, no arms, and third degree burns all over? (Rimshot)”
| Amargi'sNodachi chapter 3 . 9/27/2019
This is quite similar to Last Second Savior(?)
| Nightwing 65 chapter 13 . 9/20/2019
Great story.i couldn't put it down! I hope you finish your 2019
| N7SPARTAN-Commander-Jay117 chapter 13 . 9/16/2019
More, please come back. I want to see if harry can save Padme, her being alive would change quite a few things. With as many systems that never joined or left right at the start of the Empire the SW Galaxy will have lots of changes and the way this story is going I can't wait for more.