|Reviews for Stepping Back|
| Nimbus2023 chapter 3 . 4h
Buggering hell another flashback! I suppose it saves time since you don't have to write a whole scene to get the information across but they always seem like a speedbump to the story especially when the reader is itching for the story to get to Hogwarts already.
On the whole, I enjoyed this chapter much more than the previous two even though my brain keeps telling me that Bella and the Marauders never attended Hogwarts together because there is nine years difference in their ages. Obviously to read this story I have to forget what I know as far as canon goes and not overthink it too much. You wanted Harry to attend Hogwarts with the Marauders but still have Bellatrix as a live interest andnd I can live with that.
I think Harry should find a way to engineer an 'accident' for Wormtail at Hogwarts, maybe trip hom next to the staircase or set rat poison around the Shrieking Shack.
| Nimbus2023 chapter 2 . 9h
Starting at the first scene my first complaint is seeing my least favourite word in fanfiction, flashback. I absolutely hate when a story stops in its tracks and then recaps something to build suspense. Either write it into the story when it happens or not at all and just mention it as an afterthought.
The wand scene was very cliche, wands channel the caster's magic they do not amplify their magic or make them any more powerful (with the exception of the elder wand). There is certainly no reason to spend ten thousand and ten galleons on two custom wands, it just seems excessive. Wands are tools the wizard is where their power comes from. according to canon.
The scene with Harry's grandparents was painful to read and had way too many emotions on Harry's part. Though I would have loved it if Dorea took one look at Harry and then smacked Charlus across the face and then called him a dirty cheating bastard as she drew her wand to cast a castration hex on him.
The scene with Sirius really did make me laugh though, it was a breath of fresh air after the seemingly never-ending family meeting in Dumbledore's office.
| Nimbus2023 chapter 1 . 6/9
This chapter was horribly edited. When you use punctuation in dialogue like an exclamation or question mark, you do not need to add a comma. Furthermore, there is no need to put a space between the end of the dialogue and said comma.
For exampleDo you understand?" , Wrong
"Do you understand?"
Some of the plot seemed rather contrived, the reasoning behind Harry travelling back in time being the first that comes to mind. Going back in time to save the magical population because Britain's purebloods are dying out when there is a wizarding community in almost every country on the planet.
Sending a sixteen-year-old because he is subject to a prophecy that wasn't even in play during the time they want him to travel to.
Then there is the Dorea/Charlus nonsense when Harry's parents were named Fleamont and Euphemia. I know you did this so you could force Harry to have a connection with the Black family but it's been done... a lot.
There are the cliche things that I overlooked because every author out there also makes Ron a rectal wart, Hermione a grief counsellor and Dumbledore a well-meaning meddling annoyance so it is par for the course as far as fanfiction goes.
I found Harry taking four million galleons that he got from selling Hogwart's junk hilarious but what if the gold was minted years after the time he is sent to? It said in book five the coins are dated just like most coins there would be a production date, would Harry be arrested for counterfeiting if he tried to use a galleon minted in the eighties?
This isn't even taking into account what this kind of money would do to an insular economy, can you imagine what twenty million pounds of unsanctioned currency being infused into 1976's economy would do? The value of a pound would plummet and people would riot in the streets when they had to pay much higher prices for basic necessities.
The method of time travel is unique I will give you that and I am excited to see Harry go back in time but I find the set-up for the whole story a bit ridiculous.
It doesn't feel organic it feels like you forced events to suit your needs and just said, "fuck it, he's goin' to tha' past one way *hiccup* or the other, here hold my beer while I type."
| Foolgod chapter 15 . 6/5
this story got kinda weird ngl. like what happened to my well organized story? Voldy doesn't have horcroxes? fate and death are sentient beings? Also the relationship between him and his parents is funky. very confusing and I have a hard time connecting with such a relationship. I might come back to it later but for now too funky.
| Foolgod chapter 13 . 6/5
bruh Harry doing a villain monologue and giving away all his info for no reason. If he loses and gives away that he is there to defeat him for some reason then he is in way more trouble
| Lv 0slim3 chapter 3 . 5/25
Harry turned into wuxia protagonist...
| Revliledpembroke chapter 1 . 5/24
Why on Earth would Ron pick a fight with Harry? Especially after Ron knows that Harry got one of the only adults that cares about Harry killed. Ron might not be great with emotions, but he'd be very hard pressed to miss that!
| Toolazytologin chapter 20 . 5/18
Fantastic read, thankyou.
Went a little sideways a couple of times, but you managed to keep chugging along and ironing out the details.
| Toolazytologin chapter 19 . 5/18
It's amusing that you saw fit to warn us of upcoming depictions of child abuse...
Something that jk made her millions from and not one word of warning throughout her 7 books and 8 movies.
| ejefuller chapter 1 . 5/17
amazing as always
| Robertos1235 chapter 20 . 5/9
Wow. Good story
| DivSpars chapter 8 . 4/30
Hi... In this chapter Frank was looking for to inform about quidditch practice, but Dumbledore has said Quidditch was cancelled because of dementors...
| AnimeGuy93 chapter 4 . 4/29
this is honestly annoying to read, Harry can't pull his head out his ass and realise that the future isn't set in stone and he's completely forgot why he was sent back instead he is held back by his version of people that don't exist in the time he's now in
| ihsan69 chapter 7 . 4/27
| acowles02 chapter 5 . 4/13
500 galleons is like 5 grand if I’m not mistaken. For a wand maybe, but I would hardly expect them to be that expensive