|Reviews for Persian|
| Gabriel H. Sapphire chapter 24 . 10/4
Cause blakey lookey cutey with out her bowey
| merendinoemiliano chapter 24 . 10/3
Nice and funny chapter (loved zwei). Keep up the good work and see you later.
| EmD23 chapter 24 . 10/3
Finally caught up.
I'm honestly surprised that Jaune lost to Weiss (or anyone, really), since the whole Pyrrha story was reliant on her being unbeatable until her death. Though to be fair, Jaune wasn't "The Invincible Boy," or at least I don't recall him being called such. Of course, I didn't expect things to play out the same but Jaune's loss seems to be for Weiss's sake more than his own, with maybe a tad of character development from him out of it. Usually when characters like Jaune/Pyrrha are built up the way they are, it's for either the hero or the villain to get the rub of winning and bolster them. Weiss in this story is neither, but merely a side character, and (so far) it's done little to push Jaune's own story forward.
Unless there's a bigger fallout from it that we have yet to see, I struggle to think what purpose it served Jaune himself to lose his aura of invincibility as far as his story is concerned for something that will ultimately have no consequence to him, since Weiss could have beaten any impressive fighter. If Weiss were the main character I wouldn't have batted an eye, but since Jaune is, and we've yet to really see this loss impact him in any major way beyond him feeling a tad bummed out, I'm curious to see the repercussions going forward.
Moving on, I enjoyed the RWBY reunion. It showcased their growth (and where they need to go), and I look forward to the next chapter.
| merendinoemiliano chapter 23 . 9/19
Hello,pretty good chapter and interesting take on Whitley. Keep up the good work and see you later.
| Guest chapter 22 . 9/6
if phyrra and jaune are supposed to be switched, how does jaune losing outside of the combat that will kill him fit? just kinda curious how that logic fits in your head
| merendinoemiliano chapter 22 . 9/6
Hello, great chapter and fight, i loved every moment of it, even if maybe Jaune is complaining too much. Aniway, i can't wait to see next volume, keep up the good work and see you later.
| DaleJr.88 chapter 21 . 8/26
Great interlude. Glad to see Pyrrha have compassion for Ren and Nora by insisting on making them a part of her family. I think she has feelings for Jaune since she [Pyrrha] is thinking about him. I am excited about the upcoming chapters. Keep up the good work.
| DaleJr.88 chapter 20 . 8/25
Nice ending to Volume 1 of this story. It seems that Pyrrha has a crush on Jaune. I also can see that she wants him to meet her family.
| merendinoemiliano chapter 21 . 8/24
Hello, pretty good chapter, i liked Pyhrra 's family and their bond with Ren and Nora. The only flaw is Summer's semblance, unless it's ereditary i doubt it was speed. Aniway, keep up the good work and see you later.
| COOLER chapter 20 . 8/13
interesting twist of Volume 1. Qrow is revealed to the CRME group earlier. Weiss was in on the action at the docks. And we will actually see what they do for the holidays.
Sorry that I haven't been . on the story lately. Just been busy unfortunately.
About the telekinesis v polarity thing thanks for answering. From the response, I gather it was just a mistake. I was just thinking that maybe Weak!Pyrrha might get a broader semblance to compensate for her growth curve. Like how cannon Jaune was very strong but has vast amounts of aura and luck.
| merendinoemiliano chapter 20 . 8/7
Hello, pretty good chapter, one of the best fights at the docks i've see so far, with really good changes. I can't wait to see whath you have in mind and whath are your theories(including those about Qrow). Keep up the good work and see you later.
| howmanyisthat chapter 3 . 7/26
I really like this idea but the problem I'm having is that Jaune is too drawn to Pyrrha (too quickly I should say). In canon, Jaune isn't on Pyrrha's radar until they meet and I would have liked that being the case here too. The impact of that moment would be much better than Jaune just being inexplicably drawn to her for a while before they meet (the impact in the show isn't like that because they aren't the main characters).
I like the internal insecurities Jaune is dealing with but I think you should have highlighted how he's externally showing himself as strong and confident while still being polite. I also think that instead of Jaune interacting with Nora and Ren (let them bond later), he should have only gotten to interact with annoying nobodies trying to curry favor with him. This could highlight his dissatisfaction of not being able to meet genuine people.
On the other hand I love the way you've created a Pyrrha with a Jaune-like past with it still feeling like her own life. The whole struggling to make friends and not sure if she should even be there flows well. I just think Jaune's Pyrrha-likeness could have been better.
Hope this was constructive and don't stop writing just because of this review. I'm sure plenty of people love this fic and can't wait for more.
| Gabriel H. Sapphire chapter 19 . 7/24
Aestetic. On point dude.
| merendinoemiliano chapter 19 . 7/24
Hello, pretty good chapter, i can't wait to see the next and i lile charachters' background(the only flaw in RWBY is in gwneral they're slow to appear). Keep up the good work and see you later.
P.s. and uf you'll make Qrow Ruby's father, you have my blessing.
| DaleJr.88 chapter 19 . 7/24
I'll stay tuned into this story. A good time to update it, since today is my birthday. So to me, seeing this later chapter is like getting an awesome birthday present.