Reviews for Emotions Connect by Thread
ProtonMudkip chapter 8 . 5/10/2017
Not enough unyuuu~
all joking aside, this is a nice story, if a bit quick. it'd be nice if you spent a bit more time on description. for example, instead of saying something like 'the young girl is cirno' try going into more detail like 'the young girl is wearing a blue sundress, complete with a blue bow sitting on top of light blue hair. this girl is cirno.' since you are writing a story, fanfiction or not, you might as well assume the reader knows nothing about the character you are talking about.
1. it helps the reader not have to look up pictures and can come up with a mental one
2. it makes for better story telling, show not tell after all.
3. it allows you to emphasize the more important details, objects, or characters.
other than that, your story is not that bad and I'd like to see more from you
James Birdsong chapter 8 . 3/17/2017
Great story of course