Gotta have the trunk with an entire mansion inside of it, and getting a new wand with 87 cores from shit like a rainbow battleaxe-nosed phoenix. And as always...Have a shitty life, and burn in heaven Mr. Heathen

It's genuinely depressing how many fics I've read that incorporate all of what you've just wrote. Also, the Manipulative!Dumbledore cliche is one of the most fustrating things in Harry Potter fanfiction and ruins almost every single story it's in. The God cocaine is hilarious btw.

Idiocy of the highest order.

To be honest, you're completely right about plot holes adding character. That's why the Harry Potter series did so well.

Dear author. You forgot about magical abilities! Goblin inheritance ritual definitely should also tell Harry which magical abilities (from Parseltongue and Metamorphmagus to some obscure magical ability that makes Harry shit pure gold and enlarge his penis twice the size).
And then since he is TEH HEIR OF MERLIN BRO he also need to get a staff to cast his magic (because want is not enough obviously.

This book is amazing. I laughed out loud and all my friends thought I was insane. I do find a lot of these cliches in Harry Potter Fanfic writing to be really annoying. The inheritance test though is the most annoying because they always write him as an heir to like everybody in the magical world. Can't wait for your next chapter

I'm liking this a lot! Brought a nice smile to my face.

Don't do God-cocaine kids, it's not worth the thrill.

You've got some gold here, I'm a real fan of satire and this brightened my previously horrendous day for a bit. Thanks mate.

such a dirty trick! i know you wouldn't be able to get the worst cliche in 5 steps, so you rename the whole fic!
Sir, you get tagged!

I just want to give you a hug because of how right you are about each cliches, which can be found in 90 % of fanfictions these days. I have to admit that I quite liked them when I first started to read Harry Potter fanfictions, but the more I read, the more I found them utterly lazy and ridiculous. It adds nothing to the plot and Harry suddenly becomes so powerful that there are hardly any challenges left and the story starts to get boring. Add to it the "nice" Goblins ( in total contradiction to their behaviour in the books ), the stupid notion of magical core and blocks that are diminishing Harry's true power, the fact that he is suddenly acquiring some new powers allowing him to one-shot Voldemort without any work done before.

I am looking forward to what you will be saying about inheritance and Lord/Lady non-sense in the next chapter, as they are also some of the worst cliches out there, taking away all the magic and sense of wonder in the story and replacing it with a horrible political climate, and Harry doing nothing but sitting in a chamber and voting laws at the tender age of 15 ( as if anyone would consider a teenager seriously in the matters of politcs, it is ridiculous ). Now that I think about it, I have never seen once the words "Lord" and " Lady" being ever mentioned in the books, apart from Voldemort ( but it is more because of his ego and pride than anything else ).

As you said, and I really don't know why, but it seems that the more cliches can be found in a story, the more successful it is. It is as if people don't like simple or original stories sometimes, and they prefer to read the same thing over and over again.

My god! I am laughing so hard.

Hey what about those when suddenly Harry falls in love with Snape? Because Bloody hell if anyone cares that Snape loved his mother.

Or in that in which Harry is Voldemort's bitch or female xD or the one where Ron suddenly turns into a idiot. (All of a sudden when actually he had more common sense in the books but well, Ron!"

My god! I am laughing hard!

I'm fighting really REALLY hard not to write some uber serious story that follows this plan, make it seem like I legit wrote it, thinking it was good, and link this story as my guide, see how many people figure out it's a joke.

Okay so this is pretty darn funny. Obviously I'd prefer more The Game because I'm one of those assholes who never want to read anything new and hate when authors dare waste time on anything other than their current obsession.

But what I really came here to say is that I'm pissed off. Reading "then bunnyhopped down to Charing Cross Road" made me laugh out loud in the middle of my ophthalmology waiting room. So thanks for that. I couldn't get the image of Harry pulling out his knife (or maybe wand) and then bhopping at increasing speed all the way down Privet Drive. I don't know if you intended it in the CS or Quake sense (or maybe some weirdo new game that I'm too out of touch to understand) but it still made me laugh. So yeah.

Now gtfo and write more The Game kthxbi.

You forgot about the super nice goblins that are also the wizarding world's solicitors/barristers, and can somehow remove the horcrux from harry without killing him, which in turn gives harry access to his full power.