This Chapter was way to long for my tiny incompetent undersized pea-sized brain to handle. XD

Don’t forget about the part where straight relationships are disgusting and Harry romances a guy instead like Voldemort but in actuality he’s not Voldemort he’s Tom Riddle who just lost his sanity for splitting his soul and is stil and Young (plot holes build character) and his hotness justifies everything he did because he was under Dumbel doorbells control so now he’s a good guy.

my favourite chapter so far! hahahahahaha

So true :D

well, there is more than some truth to it.

Thank you. Actually useful to me. These tips are extremely useful even though put in a humerous way. Time for me to improve my fanfic stories

I can't do it, I can't read any more of this. I thought I was mostly over hating myself but seeing as that's the only reason I can imagine for even reading HALF of this, maybe I should start seeing a therapist again.

Hah! Perfect. This is why I don't write these kinds of stories.

I actually like the *idea* of independent Harry stories, but they are almost always written this incompetently. You forgot a few things:

1. Don't spell anything right. Not to the level of "My Immortal", but the more things you can subtly misspell, the better.
2. Expensive Jewels. The list of things Harry gets from the Goblins has to have lots of useless adjectives.
3. Grammar? What's grammar?
4. Harry has to "get" the girl very quickly, call her a pet name *immediately*, and they will act like a couple that's been married for years in the space of one week. Oh, and benefits if she has the most perfect and voluptuous body in the history of wizardkind, even though she's, oh, fifteen and would normally have quite a bit to go.

I've found that one can tell more about the author from these kinds of stories than anything else. They use them as a form of wish fulfillment, and frankly, after the twentieth good-potential-but-poorly-executed-formulaic-piece-of-hippogriff-excrement, I gave up home. This was fun, thanks for that.

You might like my story, "The Goblet's Revenge". While it's pretty much crack, it addresses a few of these plot points semi-seriously. :)

Highly amusing!

This is hilirious... though my story has a few elements similiar to ones like this i did try to make mine serious... like the rings cant be merged together automatically but they can become invisible... Also i was smart enough to put a line in my story along the lines of "the goblin started reading over the papers and after a few minutes glance up over the top" thats not word for word but a general idea of how the line went... anyways enough of my chattering about my story I loved this pardoy!

of course magical trunks are the greatest thing of all time. Especially with time dialation, cant forget that. They even put them in the Fantastic Beasts movie, so Magical Super Awesome Trunks are now officially canon. Holy Shit! Whoever invented that must be more famous than Merlin! Maybe it WAS Merlin?!

oooooh its the rare familiar eggs DLC! That is totally my favorite ever!

The goblin scenes in fanfic are always cringe inducing. I think personally they hate wizards on principle, are barely bound by magically enforced treaties, and are always planning the untimely demise and or enslavement of all wizards worldwide, but dont mind me. The stuff you read about them is all over the map. From canon, the best I can make out is that they like gold and fine craftsmanship and are naturally greedy and possessive of their things, like storybook dragons.

This chapter has inspired me. What if Mundungus was so high on guard duty he went in the windownto Harrys room and got him high as well. And then Harry snagged the Locket right out of Dungs pocket because he recognized it was stolen ffrom Sirius house. Harry covers this by giving Dung weed money to distract him. Hes already high so he cant be arsed getting all upset and punching him or something. Harry keeps the locket with him for a while until he finds out what it really is via Kreature who flips out over it. Dumbledore gets suspicious and asks to see it. The rest is?

Well you haven't killed Umbridge, as far as I know, but you sure made her wish she was dead. Twas a funny scene with the Nundu.

Perhaps you should do a guide for other common fanfiction characters.

I know Naruto is pretty high on that list.