Reviews for Burden of Lies
Deltared52952 chapter 17 . 10/6/2019
this good I don't just mean the chapter the story in it's self.
zalcik chapter 17 . 9/3/2019
great story, great character development. I specially liked that you took the high road and didn't bash Mr. Satan. great job
Enforcer209 chapter 17 . 8/9/2019
Well that was interesting
SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan chapter 17 . 7/20/2019
I like that you used the previous chapter to build up some humility in Videl in preparation for the reveal this chapter. I think without the previous chapter things would have gone horribly, or come off super forced and you didn't do that here so good job.
Guest chapter 17 . 7/9/2019
What the heck? U left it hangung at the best part?
TheGodfather93 chapter 17 . 3/4/2019
I can count the number of DBZ fics I'm currently invested in on one hand, and it won't require the use of all my fingers. After seeing your review on another fic, and recognising your name, I decided to check out your profile out of curiosity. This fic then happened to catch my eye, particularly because of the relatively unique concept, so I decided to give it a shot.

Chapters 1 through 12 were great. They weren't perfect by any means, but they were simple and reasonably enjoyable to read. The main criticism I had with them, and the later chapters, is that everyone other than the high school group and Goten/Trunks sounds too similar to one another. Tien, Krillin, Bulma to a degree and even Piccolo, all sound the same. Their dialogue in particular also feels too fancy, like something out of a play more so than the actual show. But, all that aside, I really liked the dynamic between the high school group, as well as how Gohan and Videl's relationship developed. Even Videl's training and growth of strength was handled well. Trunks' childlike bluntness was also quite humorous.

After chapter 12, though, things got rocky. I haven't read any reviews for this fic, but after seeing your AN this chapter, I can only imagine the kind of backlash you got, and can't help but shudder thinking about it. Reading reviews like that is never an easy thing to do, so props to you for addressing them and persisting with the story.

I can definitely understand why Videl got so pissed off when she found out Gohan was lying to her about Saiyaman, but I also think you dragged out her being pissed for way too long, to the point that it was almost unbearable. It was pretty difficult to read, and I found myself getting really frustrated along the way. I suppose the fact that I was so invested in what was happening was a testament to your writing, but still. Videl during those chapters had become really unlikable, which sucked for me because she's one of my favourite characters in the series. The drama was understandable at first, but the longer it went on the more it felt like arbitrary drama; drama for the sake of drama.

I'm glad it looks like you're finally patching things up between her and Gohan, but I do hope her previous actions don't just get ignored or swept under the rug, whether by self-realisation of how much of a bitch she was being, or others pointing it out to her, or both. Yeah, Gohan fucked up by lying, but she also fucked up being being so stubborn and unwilling to hear him out. I mean, after everything she'd heard about the group of ki users from Tien, you'd think she'd realise that Gohan, her friend and boyfriend who she'd come to trust, MIGHT have his reasons for keeping all that a secret.

I'm still invested in this fic, and I still really want to see how it all ends. I have enough faith in your writing that it'll be a nice, satisfactory conclusion, but I do think the perfect time to end this fic would've been two or three chapters after Videl found out Gohan was lying to her. That way, we'd still get a realistic amount of drama as she struggles to comprehend the truth, but the drama wouldn't become overbearing like it ended up being, in my opinion at least.
iMysticalDBZ chapter 17 . 2/26/2019
Just re-read this story as well as “A Love Thing” for the millionth time. Perhaps my two favorite stories everupdate soon.
danDBz chapter 17 . 2/2/2019
Story is pretty dope dude, looking forward to chapter 19. Videl being bitchy about being lied to seems pretty in charchter to me tbh.
MorenoX25 chapter 17 . 2/1/2019
I can't believe I just discovered this story. I can't wait to read more!
f99 chapter 17 . 1/26/2019
mattywilkss chapter 17 . 1/23/2019
so you realize that you've lobotomized an intelligent person for the sake of drama? videl has been fighting gangsters for years now with her BARE HANDS. shes seen the ugly sides of life. shes not made of glass, or stupid. the fact that you treat her this way makes me think that you dont appreciate the character as much as you think you do.
mattywilkss chapter 15 . 1/23/2019
nope. shes not worth it. shes unforgiving, too harsh, and worst of all SHES FUCKING STUPID. canon videl had gohan figured out in less than a month. apparently your version even though shes had all of the clues SLAPPING HER IN THE FACE still can't figure it out. gohan can do better than your retarded version of an awesome character.
mattywilkss chapter 14 . 1/23/2019
well, your version of videl is a fucking idiot. thanks for confirming that with that last little scene.
SBtennis225 chapter 17 . 1/17/2019
Great chapter, I love the way the story is moving along and I can’t wait for the next one! And as for anyone who says it’s moving to slowly, I can understand where they were coming from but as a reader myself, I find that as long as something was accomplished or revealed during a chapter, then you did your job. Please keep the updates coming!
brolyssj1 chapter 17 . 12/23/2018
I love how slow you take things in terms of Videl's understanding of Gohan's past. I've always felt like other people rush straight to the end result instead of the trip there. Especially when it comes to Videl finding out Gohan's secret. Keep up the good work!
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