Reviews for Hadrian Black: The Other Twin
M chapter 27 . 8/2
Ahh, Tom stuck in a vanishing cabinet explains his absence.
*shakes head* He is more and more simply a joke more than a threat.

"My Lord, I have a question, does the term Glock 26 ring any bells?" The mans eyes settled on one of my best male friends who stood there unflinchingly. "No?"
Why would he refer to Tom as "My Lord"?

The humiliation and degradation, not to mention the unusual method of murder, all added up to a strangely satisfying end to the reign of tommy boy. Nicely done, once again filled with imaginative details!

I have to say I am happy that Sirius did not prove Hadrian right. It would have been likely, but taint the finale unnecessarily.

who gave him a son he named Ryan after me
*snorts* you are not as funny as you think you are Mr. Pool.

Shite dude... your Epilogue was fun, pretty standard but still entertaining... but then... freaking wow! I'll look through your list to see if that was a pointer to an already written story - with Lucius raising Harry - or if it is a taste of something for the future. Regardless, I am thankful for all the time you have put into this story and for sharing your talent with us without anything more than some reviews and your own satisfaction at a job well done - and that it was.
M chapter 26 . 8/2
"He's created this... indestructible image.
Again, I refer back to your MoM scene with Tom laying in a pool of his own blood, armless, and lacking the magic or physical strength to even move from the rubble of his crash through the skylight. It's as though you have forgotten that scene entirely and continue to write as though you had included the canon scene instead.

Anti-climactic as the Hogwarts battle was, it was a well-executed plan with an overabundance of power and traps awaiting an overconfident attacking force. But where is Tom? I thought you said this was going to be his all-out assault to 'show his superiority'. Why wouldn't he be in attendance?
M chapter 25 . 8/2
My vision for this fic found it's Apex in that last chapter when I was able to show both his similarity to Albus as well as Tom Riddle and how he was stopped by the thought of his mother disapproving of what he was doing, ultimately changing the fate of a man.
Congrats on this. Communicating your intent is the pinnacle of storytelling, and though it is probably frustrating for you to have to spell it out, it is nonetheless something you have accomplished!

You never mentioned how Tom escaped his situation in the MoM. Armless, without magic or a portkey, smashed into the floor and bleeding/bashed/burned in a dozen places... that's how you left things, what happened next?

Where Voldemort not only tries to possess you and take over your body, but who would swoop in at the last moment to divert attention from the retreating Death Eaters than old gray beard himself.
I guess the possession must be a canon event that happened off-camera for your story? This is the last bit you gave us concerning the battle:
It was at this moment precisely a small group of students rushed back into the Ministry Atrium under heavy cover fire provided by both Ministry Aurors as well as Order members. They were just in time to see the glass dome above shatter and the Dark Lord impacting the ground with a loud and audible pained shreak.
Lord Voldemort, who had never before had need of an emergency portkey now wished he had one on hand as he found that he was incapable of moving.
Indeed seeing their fallen Master, the battle quickly ceased and the remaining Death Eaters fell in with Voldemort.
Where does possession or, for that matter, Tom's escape, play out in that description?

Rose was beside herself when my wand worked for her the first time she tried it, hugging everyone in sight including Lutain and a very confused Thunderbird.
*chokes on laughter*

The wand selection scene for the girls was really enjoyable. Once again, I revel in your details.

One massive strike to decimate his support base during the coming year.
*sigh* deci - one-tenth, decimate: to reduce by one-tenth.
Why can't people, especially intelligent folks such as yourself, wake up to the idiocy of using this word in place of annihilate, obliterate, destroy, wipe-out, exterminate, demolish, eradicate, liquidate, eliminate... synonym search on the above to get even more options to avoid repetition.
M chapter 24 . 8/2
That ended when Dumbledore announced that Dolores Umbridge, would be replaced by none other than James Potter. Hadrian was not happy.
I honestly did the theatrical 'slow blink at this. What the ever-loving fudge!?

Kreacher had kept the damn thing locked away in a lead box, sleeping with it under his pillow.
Obviously, this is not how it was in Cannon, where it was found in a display case (which makes much less sense than your idea) but I think your idea holds merit for why the old elf was so psychotic.

Hadrian's long diatribe against James was... frustrating. I get the need to vent, but the timing was bad. He should have just castrated the bitch, not severing, but obliterating with crushing fire that licked up his thighs and groin, and then banished him into the dark lord's office - still on fire.
OK, maybe not that last bit. Put the fire out, first.

That whole 'Stuart Reddington' arc was pretty darn cool!

Nice battle with Tom, I assume he gets away/is freed, that can't be the last conflict!

Finally! Lily may have been potioned, hexed, charmed, and befuddled, but she is still intelligent. Maybe she can castrate the gutless wonder?

Why join a psychotic mad man? Why kill and torture for the man?
I've always liked the fanon theory that Snape never had to sully himself with these things because, if he did, the taint on his soul would affect his ability to brew some of the more delicate healing and restorative potions.

Now, that's not to say that I think Snape is a decent guy, like you I am convinced that he is a nasty piece of work and for the reasons you list. That said, Canon Snape is a sad, broken little man who was literally hanging on to the past because he had isolated himself from everything else. He had no life after school and the two dark lords got their claws into his soul. He simply 'stopped'. His hatred for James simmered and grew over time to deny even the ability to see how much Harry resembled his own history, not James'. His longing for his one and only friend twisted over time to become some epic fantasy romance - emphasis on the fantasy. Nothing else grew, not in his heart.

Shite dude, the whole arc, from Hadrian's discovery of Snape's role to the final, bloody outlet in the pits, was riveting and horrifying. Absolutely fantastic job of character growth... I didn't realize what was happening to him until Dorea laid it all out. Scary friggin shite.

As to your "if I would have written it" ideas, the fact that she started a children's book - and remember, it wasn't even rated YA until the third book, but an actual Story For Children - with the murder of parents was already stretching the boundaries for the genre.
You're right, taking the DL to the grave with them angle would be even better, yet it would definitely require the YA label that, for whatever reason, JKR wasn't aiming for.
Guest chapter 23 . 8/2
The subterfuge with Cedric, and then Cho, was pretty damned impressive.
"Where there is one Hufflepuff, there are many." is a slogan that I've heard before, but rarely seen put to such a specific, and intriguing, application.

It was a sudden realization that threw me off a little. The Bones Manor... was no longer my home.
A very cool 'coming of age' moment for Susan, nice touch... and then friggin Sirius screws Amelia into missing her at the platform when she just 'saw Tom', destroying her relationship with Susan. Well, maybe not destroying it, but certainly turning that 'coming of age' moment into something much more permanent, if my guess is correct... and it was, yay :(

For quick messaging we have access to the Black family houseelf." He then pointed to Dobby who was standing by the side offering a slight bow as he grinned happy to have been given this important task.
I couldn't help but grin widely at this image. I do love me some proud Dobby!

Susan's speech to Amelia was crisp, clear, and mature. Brutally so. I loved it.

I stifled a laugh at the idea of some putz criticizing you over your characters of Lily and James. Setting physical descriptions aside, what did they get, 30, 35 discreet words of actual descriptive text in seven books?
James was a malicious shite who 'got better'.
Lily was a bookworm who 'came around'.
Anything else? I doubt it. They are mostly a blank slate. This is a heavily AU story and some readers should just read because "it is better to be quiet and thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it".

That said, your rant at James is valid, excepting he, like all too many of the OotP, had his head so far up dark lord dumble's arse that he ruffled his long white beard when he breathed out. Being told to stay by his master was the final word. He had no idea that dld was only keeping the child of prophecy close for manipulation.

Lily James are constantly referred to in the justification of Ginny Harry and Hermione Ron and I have zero reservations in believing that magical manipulation was involved in all three cases.
M chapter 22 . 8/2
Fantastic details continue to drive this story into my favorites.
I'm only sorry that the last several weeks of moving made me lose track of several in-process stories, I'm happy to find this Complete but sad that I was not able to be along for each chapter release.

It was good to see something 'not quite work out' for Hadrian. Even the slightest misstep could be catastrophic in the circumstances and he was fortunate to only end up getting 'caught'.

Filius was well done, Poppy a little iffy. Then again, this is not Cannon Pomfrey who either willfully ignored Harry's malnutrition and neglect, if not outright abuse, or who was manipulated/obliviated by dark lord dumbles into doing so.

Speaking of things not going right, I wonder if Petey will have bled out? Between long minutes of bleeding from his stump to the injuries he absorbed as a shield, I would hope that Tom has lost his last ally... for now.
frankiebayer2002 chapter 20 . 7/22
This is great
Speaker of Heresies chapter 23 . 6/30
I do have to say, the shirts in perspective, this .mostly pertains to daphne, seemed forced, and more like a cheap way for character development, not to say it didn't do it's job, it just wasn't as smooth as it could have been
hruaia chapter 15 . 5/29
Just wondering at this point, the ritual he did for saving his mother, you said that he would have a greater regeneration/healing factor, but you seem to be forgetting it or is his healing faster than normal? you didn't specify it so i'm asking
hruaia chapter 10 . 5/29
the way you spell exercise to exorcise is hilarious lol, still a re-read and correction of all the chapters for wording mistakes or omission would be highly advised. Great story so far.
Demi-Wizard48 chapter 6 . 5/18
Minecraft command: /rant end
kat1017 chapter 5 . 5/18
what about adding Nymphadora Tonks?
Alucard chapter 1 . 5/15
Theres one problem here, and that is the whole line of 'who would really give their lives for another'. Implying that no one has ever deflected a killing curse because almost no ones willing to die for someone else. This is complete and utter bullsh*t. However I can justify it a few ways 1; she does mention blood ritual meaning few people in their cowardly society would do what it takes to 'truly' protect someone and not just make a token 'take me instead' effort. Thus adding a new layer of meaning to the whole line of giving your life for someone. 2; The quantity and quality of spine in the wizarding world is sorely lacking in modern times and id be cool if the killing curse, in this fic at least, is a more modern spell. Perhaps even a revamp of an older one. Leaving us with a smaller pool for study 3; It would fit well if Voldy had made the AK and this would work seamlessly with my arguments. IE Riddle creates a new unforgivable or all of them and truly cements his reputation within British wizarding society. This shine a new light on the whole never mentioning his name hangup that people have. No one can shield against his all star spells, thus freaking everyone out and earning the label of unforgivable in an feeble attempt at 'making those terrible baddies behave or else theyll write more laws against them'. So the unspeakables are left racking their brains and the only thing they can come up with is a half done solution. A so called dark exchange ritual theoretically capable of doing the job.
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