Reviews for Hadrian Black: The Other Twin
Rune Tobor chapter 18 . 10/18/2019
The Britain Wizarding World is broken and corrupt beyond repair.
Revolution is needed, only by killing those unfit to live, destroying and rebuilding, can it be saved.
Rune Tobor chapter 17 . 10/18/2019
Harems are ok for fantasy, but what makes them unreal are two limitations...

Stamina and Time.

We'll pretend magic allows one male to have the stamina to keep up with and satisfy a harem.

Time is the real limit.

Assuming the male doesn't have to work he still has to sleep and eat and shower.

Even just sleeping 5 hours a day and eating like Ron that takes 6 out of 24 hours.
Slightly more normal would be 8 sleeping, 3 eating and personal grooming.
Add working 8 hours and only 5 are left to spend with the harem.

Pairs are simple and easy, triads are ok, four people tend to become two couples...

Your set of six will lead to Hadiran dying from exhaustion, happy but still dead.

Setting up sub-pairs like Daphne/Tracey and Susan/Hannah is a good idea.
But every number over 3 is subject to just that, the group fracturing into 2s and 3s.

Otherwise the story is very good so far, thanks for writing and posting.
Rune Tobor chapter 11 . 10/18/2019
Your James Potter is a disappointment, but ok, most of what is known about James comes from the memories of someone who hates him.

Lily is not shown in a good light either, but she has Dumbledork bamboozling her and James backing him instead of her.

Dumbledore is the real dark lord of the wizarding world.
He first helped Gellert and then waited over a decade to do anything.
Albus could have done something about Tom very early, but did nothing.
Tom made his diary horcrux while in Hogwarts, a leader of the light would have acted!
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore did nothing to stop murderers!
Albus is an accomplice and enabler of terrorists, rapists, torturers and worse...

What I really wonder is what the story says about Rowling's sanity?
Rune Tobor chapter 6 . 10/18/2019
Two plot wholes in the original are the Flamels and the ICW.

Why did neither help Harry fight Tom?

The ICW at least should have because Tom threatened the Statute of Secrecy!

I blame Rowling for not having a well thought out plot.

But Dumbledore could have blocked the ICW somehow.
I also would not put it past him to keep or destroy the Stone thus ensuring the Flamels deaths.
We are talking about a creature who knew Harry was abused by the Dursleys and did NOTHING!
Rune Tobor chapter 5 . 10/18/2019
How did everyone forget it was Ron and his mean mouth that had Hermione in the restroom where a troll almost killed her?!

That is the source of the fanon idea that Ron uses a love potion on Hermione!

You do not forget near death experiences!

When it comes to MATH, Love, or the careful thought needed to avoid p!ot holes ... Rowling is retarded.
Rune Tobor chapter 4 . 10/18/2019
I had not noticed Fleur being that attached to luxury.
Ron and Hermione are just as ill thought out by Rowling as her surprise redemption of Snape.
For imagination JKR gets an O.
She fails so badly at logical thought that T(with 7 minus) would be an improvement!

Fleur and Harry?
Maxor248 chapter 23 . 10/15/2019
To be fair hermione did in fact marry someone who bullied her off and on for years in cannon. Though I do agree that with the very few first person accounts of james character we have he seems like an ass.
Iamtheonlytruejoker chapter 2 . 10/10/2019
Great Start, i can‘t wart to Continue
Jim Red Hawk chapter 4 . 9/30/2019
Er, “sushy” is correctly spelled SUSHI. ROFL

Jim Red Hawk chapter 1 . 9/30/2019
You changed Dorea Black-Potter to Dorea Potter-Black for this story? Interesting!

Guest chapter 19 . 9/26/2019
I've been really enjoying your story. It is very well written and original! Keeps me on my toes.
wstiglet chapter 27 . 9/27/2019
this is my first ever review. I just gotta say this is one of if not the best fanfic I've ever read. the detail,timing,plot,fight scenes,romance, political shit storms. anything you can think of about a Slytherin based Harry Potter is fucking here. nothing was rushed that didn't need to be. the ending was spectacular. My favorite thing about this entire story that so many different ones don't, is that Hadrian (Harry) doesn't take shit from ANYONE except family. everything revolves around family for him and I LOVE IT! The fact he doesn't care what road he has to take as long as he can save his family and friends. he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty. or not taking the glory of the victory. asking as the plan works out in the end. You my friend have made a spectacular, amazing,outstanding, you pick , novel. I hope to see more like this soon.
Dragon and Sword Master chapter 27 . 9/27/2019
I have to admit that I enjoyed this story and I found the ending that you have here done pretty well. Thank you for writing and sharing the story to everyone here on the website.
Tritian chapter 19 . 9/26/2019
Fics amazing don’t worry Bout the retards lol
Simianpower chapter 1 . 9/25/2019
The paragraphs need work. As it is, it's very unclear who's speaking at any given time. Also, sentence structure. There are periods where there should be commas in many places. The grammar needs a strong overhaul.

And who the hell is Harold Minchum? The minister during Voldemort's first rise was Bagnold. Is there a reason for this AU element? It doesn't add anything.

The "Dumbledore wanted [twin A] out of the house while training [twin B, WBWL]" is such a DUMB TROPE. I don't care if it's cliche or not; I care that it makes no sense. It makes even less sense that any parents would actually do that. In this very chapter Lily is so protective of Harry that she barely let his own grandfather touch him, yet a year later she'll give him away FOREVER because Dumbledore says so? That's fucking idiotic and inconsistent!

I should have realized that this would be a dumb story when "Hadrian" was in the name. That's always a bad, bad sign of a pretentious author dependent upon cliches. I wanted to try it because a completed 160k word story with [Harry, Susan, Daphne] interests me, but this is total schlock.
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