A masterwork of storytelling that pulses with raw intensity, weaving threads of fate, longing, and quiet revelation into an unforgettable tapestry. Every character breathes with a depth that defies the page flawed yet luminous, their struggles carving echoes of our own joys and sorrows. The prose is a symphony: elegant yet unforced, each word chosen with the precision of an artist shaping light and shadow. Scenes unfold with a cinematic grace moments of hushed vulnerability giving way to thunderous emotion , leaving an imprint that lingers long after the final passage. Neither confined by genre nor bound by convention, this is a story that transcends, a journey that doesn’t just unfold but unravels, drawing the reader into a world at once distant and deeply intimate. It is not merely read it is felt, an experience to be carried, pondered, and revisited like a beloved relic of time itself.

Your story "Brockton: In Venatus" has the ingredients of something legendary characters clamoring to be seen, a world wanting to be explored, and a plot begging to unfold in breathtaking visuals!

With years of experience turning stories into vivid, dynamic comics, a professional paid artist. I can turn your words into a work of genius whether they chronicle exciting adventures, cosy moments, or adrenaline packed fights.

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And in this chapter you are doing a bit too much. The guy goes from “panicked about his brother” to “lets manipulate a teenager!” to “look at how badass i look as i break some guys arm. I even caught it on video!Which btw is suspicious as FUCK. Normal people don’t set up a camera or have a body cam on them before beating people up and rescuing someone. This is supposed to be a normal civilian who gained powers. Instead this seems like a guy who was basically already a cape and is recording himself beating a guy up to what? Brag about how cool he is? Amy would be much more impressed if he didn’t record it.

Sooo i like the fact you add bits and pieces of the language of your character. However you need to put in the author’s note translations. Otherwise it breaks emersion cause then i have to go look up what the heck this word or that word means.

Extra kudos!

Coil is actually pretty useless.
As you put correctly, he only simulates another timeline (far too many get that wrong).
It doesn't really happen. His ability automatically chooses to make him autorun the "timeline" that's best for him.
Meaning: the separate timeline never happens.
Therefore: He can be killed with relative ease by anyone who knows about him.
Mayor weakness: He doesn't know that he ain't got a failsave. If he actually dies, he's dead and doesn't just collapse a "timeline".

Please update as soon as you're able to do so.

Thats a hell of a cliffhanger to finish a story on. It was getting so good too!

audio makes his name unable to understand, haha.

what his name means is it indian or something?

Please, please update! what a cliffhanger!

This has been an intriguing story and I'm really looking forward to your next post.
Thanks for posting.

He didn't give him the f**king apple he's been carrying around all f**king morning.

Quests like this just make any game fic shit.

dammit man it was just getting good

Hoo boy. this fic turned out to be better than I expected. It's a slightly different flavour of Gamer powers but still very familiar. The MC isn't hopeless. The writing quality is pretty decent but I did find several spots where it fell into the pit traps of fanfiction. Overall, a good fic. I know I'll be waiting for this fic to continue to its eventual conclusion.

Keep up the good work.