piggy is nuts if it was a regular gang fight there would be people shot not broken bones at most

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I stopped reading cus he was indian

OHMYGOD AMY IS ADDICTED HOLY SHIT

This is arguably the first Lisa/oc fic I've ever read and I honestly love it. I love how the mc isn't immediately an overpowered guy but instead actually has to train and study his powers. I also like how you sort of switch up the main story line rather than just follow the main plot (really liked the ziz part). Finally the fluff, just really want to read more of that.

I'll wait for next update, till then cheers!

... huh.

So, local universe canon is that shards are retarded 5 year-olds... should be funny at least? Doesn't really fit with Tattletale's experience though.

I was about to ask who in the heck likes the smell of fresh books then I remembered, I do. I like the smell of fresh books...

Good job showing that your MC is paranoid but still ridiculously stupid. Doesn't even once consider monitoring Lisa after she finished her mission because they ASSUMED the paranoid murderer would want to meet with the pawn he's obviously trying to get killed. You are an idiot and congrats on dealing significant damage to your stories integrity just because you felt the need to ham fist in the 'hero loses a loved one and grows because of it' cliché. Lazy and forced, screw you very much for sinking a very good story by failing to consider a PROPER way to achieve what you wanted in this story that fits with the actual plot instead of just sticking in the first crappy cliché that popped into your head.

awesome continue writing pls

Awesome fic!

Well, I was enjoying this until you fucked it up. I don't understand how you can pretend to write someone that's supposed to be so smart, that they completely fucking ignore obvious clues. They KNOW Coil is a devious mastermind. They KNOW he has backup plans for backup plans (one of which they discovered and didn't do anything about). They KNOW he is completely ruthless and has hundreds of assassins, mercs, and infiltrators on the payroll.
And they IGNORED IT ALL.
How fucking stupid is that? I let it go, assuming you would correct their stupidity, then you let an entire month go by in the story and did absolutely nothing to change anything. You even let Tattletale complete the heist and LEFT HER COMPLETELY UNGUARDED FOR NO FUCKING REASON!
He didn't even give her a plot immunity apple a long time ago, fully knowing she was risking her life every single time she talked to Coil.
Maybe it's not your characters that are stupid, it's you. It's very difficult for dumb people to write smart people, so I can see where you went wrong. You overstepped yourself and wrote yourself into a corner. Instead of fixing that, you changed your characters to fit the plot instead.
That's bad writing.
I'm dropping this collection of mistakes that are too blatant to ignore anymore.

I nope out as soon as the mc tells someone about his gamer abilities. Sorry just don’t like them cuz it’s basically a lazy way of writing one.

he didnt revive present self he revive a past lisa? how did lisa know he burned the body?

Oh no a cliff hanger

Good stuff, excellent read. Some parts most definitely better than others though.