|Reviews for The Thirteenth Colony Series|
| JB5 chapter 15 . 7/12/2016
Yes, much better.
Only one section in the last few chapters featuring Marty Stu Torres that was easily skipped with no impact on the story.
A workmanlike finish, Cain was a great surprise and the rationale behind his return was believable in the context on canon.
I would like you to have made the empahsis of the widow fleet on submarines, they are already self contained and would be more suitable candidates for conversion to spacecraft.
See the Vorpal Blade series for how that is done.
Overall, was worth reading, so well done.
| JimBeamer5 chapter 3 . 7/10/2016
OMFG now he's a brilliant TV Program Director and has just been awarded the Colonies highest award as well?
Don't you have any shame at all?
I'm skipping the parts where he's involved, making for a shorter and more enjoyable story, and still I run into this crap.
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/6/2016
Hope this gets better.
Already skipping sections with Hacker/Lover/Pilot/Priest/Doctor Marty Stu Torres the 5' 2" ladykiller. Yet ANOTHER story with a ludicrous self insert (I suppose), I can handle the extreme professional proficiency in ONE field (even the "one man doing in a week what two PHD's and a whole team couldn't do in a year"), but the rest is just completely ludicrous.
I know I shouldn't expect too much from someone who won't learn from his mistakes (I'm talking about the author), ie refusing to do re-writes or even fix grammar, but I'm sure IRL you're C.O. is so proud of your unorthodox brilliance.
Look, you've got a decent premise, plot (sans 007 Torres) is workable, fics based on original BSG are rare, and yet you blow it all away on what is basically a wankfest.
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 15 . 12/30/2015
| Dun1 chapter 15 . 12/4/2015
This story is very good i liked it.
| Firewolfe chapter 15 . 10/4/2015
When do we get a sequel? Great story and worth the wait. Hope you have more soon. I love this xover and you got all the characters well. I so want to see what you would do with the world when everything ends war wise.
| ShadowCub chapter 15 . 10/4/2015
My mom makes that same turn, lool.
The ancients are dicks, they have so many stupid rules. All that power and they are nothing but selfish morons. I like it cause you killed Jack, I hate that guy.
| RevanNaberrie chapter 10 . 9/30/2015
To the last few reviewers. This is Fan Fiction, Drop your opinions on the real world here. This is a fictional setting what could or could not happen in the real world has no bearing here and as such has no place in a story review.
Do you write the producers of the various police procedural TV shows and remind them that their main characters would be under modified assignments and internal affairs investigation every time they fire their weapons. so they should be sitting a desk for three quarters of every season.
As to the Colonial speaking modern English. Did you ever watch any of the Stargate series. Everyone in the freaking galaxy speaks English. I don't recall Daniel Jackson translating everything said by non Earthers in every episode.
Maybe you would prefer chapters to be longer put into this format?
Commander Apollo says: είστε απλά ψάχνουν για έναν λόγο για να δώσει μια κακή κριτική
Daniel looks at jack and says: he wants to know if your just looking for a reason to give a bad review.
| Apex113 chapter 14 . 9/9/2015
And the US being able to conquer the entire world through numbers technology and tactics? Oh please. India and China alone outnumber the US. Russia would give America a run for its money in terms of its equipment for soldiers and ships as well as perhaps technology. Russia has 8000 nukes right now, the US has 4500. Contrary to what you Yanks think, the world does not revolve around you just because you went to the moon and have a shitload of WMDs. You guys use diplomacy first, if that doesn't work then intimidation and then finally invasion. Love, peace and the American way or whatever that ridiculous saying is? Oh please. You entire economy revolves around the production of guns and military assets. Honestly? 11 aircraft carriers? That's more than the entire world combined. Why do you need them? Your national debt is 12 TRILLION dollars. And the US would conquer the world? Ha! Your economy would go first, and shortly thereafter your numbers. Want to try your luck at world domination? Have fun thinking about what a spectacularly bad idea that was when the Russians nuke you to the Stone Age.
| Apex113 chapter 1 . 9/9/2015
The chapters are WAY too long. I love long chapters, but this is ridiculous. And Colonials speaking perfect modern English? Gimme a break. That's just laziness on your part by not introducing a translation medium. And, this really tickled my WTF bone, how can you convert atmospheric aircrafts and naval ships? They're made out of flimsy materials and are way too small to have a naquadah reactor plus weapons plus engines. The atmospheric planes at any rate. And converting naval ships? How utterly unbelievable.
| progomphus chapter 1 . 12/2/2014
I think you have the material here for a great story, however it needs quite a bit of polishing. A few suggestions.
1. The length of the first few chapters are too long and makes them cumbersome.
2. You commented that you are not overly concerned with grammar. You should be as poor grammar as and sentence structure make the story difficult to follow.
3. Many of your technical definitions for military hardware and protocols are repetitive and unnecessary.
4. And this one is probably the toughest, converting air force fighters and naval vessels is simply ludicrous.
I really do think you have a great story here.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/7/2014
Wow how lucky the Colonials independently evolved to speak Modern English!
Actually I am being heavily sarcastic. This is lazy writing. The Colonials actually speak a strong dialect of Ancient Greek. Would it have been too much trouble for the author to do some handwavium and invent a Translation Method?
Nil Points for lazy sloppy writing. I won't bother to read anything else written here.
| edboy4926 chapter 14 . 7/10/2014
| Hyperion chapter 1 . 3/14/2014
The first three chapters are, IMO, some of the best fanfiction and writting I've seen anywhere, better than a lot of published works I believe.
The Chapter 4 parts, OTOH, seems confusing, strange, and out and out poorly thought out. Honestly, if you ever do continue this story or anything based around it, I might suggest keeping Chapters 1-3 but scrapping and/or heavily rewriting the chapter 4 sections.
| ARIF chapter 9 . 3/10/2013
WHAT A FRAKING RACIALIST YOU ARE
WHO IS EVER USED WMD? USA
USA ACTION AROUND THE WORLD HAD KILLED MORE CIVILIAN (WOMEN AND CHILDREN) THAN AL QAEDA AND OTHER TERRORIST PLUS COMMUNIST AND DRUG LORD OF SOUTH AMERICAN COMBINE.
WHO IS THE REAL TERRORIST?
WHO IS STEALING THE NATURAL SOURCES FROM 3rd COUNTRIES AROUND THE WORLD?
OPEN YOUR EYES YOU RACIALIST IDIOT