I find myself agreeing with the last reviewer. I wanted to read it because it sounded interesting, but I just couldn’t get past all the grammatical errors. It had a lot of redundancy and choppy sentences. Just within the first 3 paragraphs, the same sentences were repeated, first as describing what was going on and then by the characters. Sometimes that works well, but the way it’s currently written, it doesn’t. I’d highly recommend to get a beta to read it over and help edit it and flesh out the plot. If that’s not possible, read it out loud to yourself. By reading it aloud, you’ll be able to hear where the parts don’t flow well. If it helps, I’ve beta read for other writers before and wouldn’t mind doing so for you.

I don’t want to sound harsh, because I like your ideas, I just think you need a little help with editing to bring them out more. This piece has promise.

I really tried to read it, the idea behind it was great. I just couldn't get over all of the grammar issues. You rarely use the correct tense of a word and your writing is way too fast paced. You need a better tempo and writing style.

You leave so many plot holes, for example, Sirius and the rest of the Gryffindors never introduced themselves and you never hear Snape's first name, yet she automatically calls all of them by their names. They should have realized that was a huge red flag.

I really wish that I could like this story, but it needs a lot of work.

Disgusting and perverse. After only scamming the last few chapters I stop reading here. In the beginning I enjoyed the plot, but after Hermione's return, it gets worse by the chapter. Furthermore, the grammar is abysmal.

Oh my god. I’m bawling. Poor Hermione, Severus, James, Lily, Remus and Sirius.

I love this story. I can't wait to be able to read more of your stuff.

Loved this story can't wait for the sequel!

Hello author. I love your story. Reading comments about your mistakes can be painful. trust me i know. but i hope that you see the positive comments. they only commented that for you to be a great author. Looking forward on your other works!

Cute SS/HG story, but I felt there were many grammatical and a few plot errors throughout the story. You used the word 'got' WAY too often... it should be 'have' in most cases you used it. There were a few discrepancies between the past and conversations/ interactions in the present, but not enough to deter me from reading your story. Over all it was an interesting story that had many plot twists and characters. Thanks for taking the time to share it.

I don't think I can do another 30 chapters of the grammar. Someone is "passed out", not "past out". Your verb tenses are all over the place - sometimes present, sometimes, past, sometimes present perfect, and often in the same sentence.

"Those" is plural - "We don't use those kind of words" is incorrect. It should be "We don't use that kind of word." "I'm not for sure" is incorrect. Should be, "I am not sure" or "I'm not sure".

Thanks for sharing your story, but it isn't for me as I can't get past the grammar. Best of luck!

"Casted" is not an English word. The past tense of "cast" is "cast". Again, good plot and content, but the (many) grammar errors are a problem.

I am enjoying the story, but the grammar errors are jarring. "I got to..." Is never correct. It's always "I have to..." Or "I have got to..." - or better, given that this is supposed to be a posh British public boarding school, "I must..."

It may be a minor nit in the overall scheme of things, but it's so out of place in an otherwise well written story that it truly is jarring. The story is better than the grammar.

A good editor/beta reader could easily fix these problems and elevate the story from "good" to "great".

That said, thanks for sharing it - I am enjoying it so far.

Loving this as well as enjoying it

The timeline is so rushed. I don't like to review until the end but I just keep having a hard time ignoring it. They're best friends, significant others, and saying they love each other within days of meeting. It's so far occ my brain is refusing to accept it haha. I'm going to finish and form my thoughts then!

wonderful way to wrap it all up

Good, please update the next chapter quickly! Happy Father's Day!