|Reviews for derivation|
| princeselisa chapter 30 . 9/26
This was a great story. Thanks!
| plainjane108 chapter 7 . 8/14
"The Cranes, Texas January" by Mark Sanders has a reference to January. And its just a beautiful poem in general too.
The Cranes, Texas January
I call my wife outdoors to have her listen,
to turn her ears upward, beyond the cloud-veiled
sky where the moon dances thin light,
to tell her, “Don’t hear the cars on the freeway—
it’s not the truck-rumble. It is and is not
the sirens.” She stands there, on deck
a rocking boat, wanting to please the captain
who would have her hear the inaudible.
Her eyes, so blue the day sky is envious,
fix blackly on me, her mouth poised on question
like a stone. But, she hears, after all.
January on the Gulf,
warm wind washing over us,
we stand chilled in the winter of those voices.
| chocopi78 chapter 16 . 6/24
This story is amazing! I loved your writing and the idea behind Bella's heritage. I am going to go read more of your stories! Thank you so much for sharing!
| alikat94 chapter 1 . 6/12
You are such an amazing writer! I just finished your story, 'supernormal', and it was so good that I had to go to your author page to see if you had any other longer, completed works. I'm so glad that you did. This story is also beautifully written so far, and with such detailed world-building right off the bat. I don't know how I haven't run into any of your stories before, but please keep up the good work. :)
| Guest chapter 11 . 5/31
blending the human and vampire societies? Um why? So they are thinking of creating a new race of vampires? I don’t understand why. They keep referencing hybrids as if Bella is not the only one. Creating a more powerful race doesn’t seem like something the rulers of the vampire world would want as that could produce vampire that are gifted enough to overthrow them.
| Guest chapter 8 . 5/31
Vampire mating isn’t really like werewolf imprinting according to cannon, all that was said is that once a vampire falls in love it’s permanent as theyre set in stone. If Edward hadn’t went back to forks to see his family he would’ve never fallen in love with Bella because he wasn’t drawn to her as a mate. I never liked that about Twilight, that imprinting was kind of viewed as more of curse and almost written off as just being mates to who you are most genetically compatible. It’s like SM wanted it to be seen as unromantic in comparison to vampire love. It was passed of as a science based situation, that it was terrible that they had no choice, etc but it was more romantic that vampires could fall in love forever? I never got that. Then Jacob imprints on a half vampire baby as a consolation prize for the Jacob stans, so Bella could keep him in her life and so that he has a love for himself. Ugh I hated that. I thought that he should’ve fallen in love with Leah! Anyways, that’s the end of this rant. Sorry. I just appreciate your version of vampire mating lol
| Guest chapter 6 . 5/31
I don’t like the idea of creating more hybrids. That means innocent women will be torn apart and killed during the birth, unless they are allowed to be changed which I doubt that is Aro’s plan as he was thinking about Didyme and Marcus and other gifts hybrids could have. I don’t think the gap needs to be bridged between vamps and humans - why would it? And why would Aro want that? It does not make much sense. They are predators and humans are prey. More hybrids would also mean more competition for blood. This aro is OOC but I can’t wrap my head around him. He should just keep Bella’s parentage a secret and only say she’s a powerful human he wants to be changed.
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/30
I’m surprised that Aro does not have a guard watching Bella at all times. Letters aren’t enough to keep in touch. She could die at any moment, really. I also thought he’d take her back to Italy to be closer. But I like this ooc Aro so far.
| withloveee chapter 32 . 5/30
Please please make a list of all the books mentioned, they all seemed so interesting.
| FireFlower77 chapter 1 . 5/22
Ok. If Arilpicia was 1-2 vamp, then 'Fozi' was 1-4, that makes Charlie be 1-8, so Bella is actually 1-16th part vamp. And her gift is reversed telepathy like Ness had... in canon because of Edward... Here, if your Charlie is (as in canon) a shield (of sorts) I'm curious about why you skip the strong shield and give her Renesmee's gift...
Also, I'm wondering at what point in those centuries was Fozino born, if, as I imagine, Arilpicia was born close-ish after the Romanian wars (given your Didyme is alive, which triggered the whole thing) This because both mother and son seem to live long lives. Arilpicia just like Ness had? Developed fast? And Fozino like his mother or did he age slowly?
Charlie as you write, was born around the 2nd WW. so he is actually a (normal human) generation older than he is in canon. Which is in the late 60s. So that means he ages slowly? He has to have noticed this, and know he is not just a regular guy... if as you say Bella is born a year before the millennium, Charlie would have to be looking more like her granddad than her dad.
And if he is a 1-8th vamp he has to smell like one... wouldn't that make his friendship with the Quileutes a tad bit... well, non-existent?
| shazmehdi chapter 32 . 5/15
DUDE! it should have been you, to wrote the original story. not really a fan of twilight, but this is priceless. the most intriguing story, had me captivated from start to finish. never have I ever read anything remotely similar to your story! this is the most amazing fanfic I have every come across. you are my new favourite. I bow to you.
| BookWormGirl93 chapter 10 . 4/29
chocolate covered peanuts is one of my favorites! lucky!
| LadyQuill chapter 1 . 4/11
I absolutely love what you did with this story. You made Edward and Bella into a team instead of a dominate, controlling man with a whimpering, submissive girl. Their relationship is so much healthier than in the books, and I applaud your writing ability.
| Guest chapter 3 . 3/22
At first I was a bit confused about this story and I wasn't sure if I'd continue it but I've really grown to like what you've done with the canon.
Your author notes at the end have also shown me just how much thought and effort you've been putting into this.
I'm more of a canon fan, so it can be hard for me personally at times to look past it and open my mind to certain possibilities - but for some reason I'm still here. Still reading. This is a very engaging story. So much that I'm willing to *gasp* throw canon out the window.
So far this is great work!
| Jan chapter 3 . 3/22
I know how the rest of the story will go after this chapter...it's disappointing and so exhausting that little change in canon vampire au stories in this fandom regarding the cullens. Only a few veer away from SM rainbowland to actually make these characters we love so much their own.
Your Bella is at least smart and competent, she isn't a total snob that hate life and everything that doesn't revolve around the Cullens yet but I know it only a matter of time. There will probably be some whiny about Aro choice of food or their lifestyle in later chapters, Rosalie will probably have a kid of her own and the whole family will live happily ever after.
What's is the point of reading a vampire story if they're just going to be humans who drink blood with a little drama throw in there. Been there, done that a thousands times.