|Reviews for Age of Man|
| Mai-danishgirl chapter 1 . 5/19/2017
Ooh, now this is grim, and fascinating.
I find the ghost? Intriguing, it is not quite clear whenever it is a figment of Mewtwo's imagination, or is he really there? The gunner shooting through him seems to indicate he isn't there, but then he removed the woman? Unless of course they are a team...hmm, could just be me being dense.
I am looking forward to more. Mewtwo has always been my favorite.
| St Elmo's Fire chapter 1 . 3/19/2017
[Floors six through twenty lie toppled over a bright red burger shop, glass and rubble strewn about the pavement like blood.]
That's a bit of an odd comparison. Blood is liquid, so a scatter of rubble will naturally look quite a bit different than blood splatters even if its red. And glass doesn't look anything like blood to begin with.
[The man is bleeding too, in the human way.]
I'm pretty sure pokemon bleed too.
[Even in their final moments, their entire universe contracts to the self, like a black hole collapsing under its own gravity.]
This is also an odd comparison, as black holes are things that have already collapsed. “A star collapsing under its own gravity” would be a much better simile here – their superficially bright and beautiful lives collapsing into something ugly and consumptive.
[A dark. Or a ghost. Something immune to my powers.]
Ghosts aren't immune to psychic, unless you're going with that theory that they originally were supposed to be.
[I reply vibrating the air because my telepathy cannot reach him.]
This needs a comma after “reply”.
This is a bit short for a first chapter, but looks interesting. I like Mewtwo's dispassionate descriptions.