|Reviews for The Long Road|
| SomecallmeMichelle chapter 13 . 7/6
You know it's impressive that in a chapter featuring my favorite character, acting so smug and adorable, with an intense Pokemon battle, the first thing that catches my eye is the mention of Aggron picking berries. Perhaps it's a little detail written in media res, as I don't recall it, but it's a sign of a good writer that you make me wonder. There have to be days, weeks, going by without being narrated. And the story itself isn't chronologically told. It's a tribute to the quality of your writing that I wonder about it.
But let us not deceive ourselves, the star of this chapter was Wallace, oh how I love the way you write him, he's smug, he's a bit camp - to be honest - he's polite and well brought up, but he's not unwilling to get dirty and fight Pokemon battles. To him every pokemon of him is a darling or a dear. He's, truly, a great man, and a friend to have. The sheer raw intensity of the Pokemon Fight! I know that the real focus is on the battle with Juan, but how can I not enjoy this?
And Skarmory still isn't controlled it seems. Make Steven blush Skarmory, as Juan makes Wallace blush. It is the job of a master to make their pupils blush after all. I could comment on the complexities and the many ways your battles are both intense, thrilling to read and full of excitement. But I won't bore you with such repetition. I have done that time after time after time. You always manage to sneak some new element. What I'll say, however briefly, is that I have to drop the phone and take a long breath every time I finish reading them.
I can not drop the phone while reading, so pulled by them I am, but as soon as I finish I need to refresh myself. Reading your stories - every battle feels like red vs green for the champion spot. Even when it's just a friendly rivarly or a Gym Leader which can be retried. Steven takes battling with all his heart, and so I do too.
There's the matter of Roxxane to deal with, previously covered if I'm not mistaken. And also raising skarmory. But I am exhausted. In a good manner. I need to take a break from Pokemon. You've packed so much emotion, thought, strategy and strength into the battle, I don't even know what to say!
And of course Wallace would not admit defeat quite as easily as that. He's still got some of his arrogance. Steven has grown as a trainer, facing two of the top trainers of the region without much of a break.
As for Wallace, maybe one day he'll be champion himself. Though he has to get better names, who names a ludicolo "George"?
Amazing chapter. Look forward to more!
| General Lemarc chapter 8 . 6/8
Of all the things here that could get to my nostalgia, I never expected Ruin Maniac Dusty to be one of them. But there you go.
| General Lemarc chapter 1 . 5/23
So far, this reads great. Can't wait to see where it goes from here.
| SomecallmeMichelle chapter 12 . 5/12
Bloddy hell Steven, are you sure you want to keep that Pokemon in your team?
As far as excuses go, having an angry skarmory chasing you as to why you want to enter someone's house is a good one . Much better than what others have tried "But I'm the Hero of Time!" (expressed of course through gah and ayaa), or "I'mma here to clean your pipes" (and then they disappear because of some Peach). Heck it is even more agreeable than the dozens of time Roxanne hears "My Zigzagoon ate my homework"
But enough joking around, for some reason, mainly that I couldn't be arsed, mostly because of cross posting the comment, I stopped reading this. After all I already knew the end, Steven would become champion, and yet as I got ready for my exams, I did activism, and I went out with my life it stuck at the back of my mind. "What of Steven?" "Will Wallace show up? God, there must be more Wallace" "Steven is bae, but Wallace - they're friends and yet they're not". I admit, many of my thoughts weren't exactly focused on Steven, but I was interested in the journey. It's not the destination, that is obvious in hindsight but the journey.
And there it is. Steven commits a rash and dumb decision. Of course he's always seen as the wisest of trainers, he knows enough about rocks to fill various books, and he is well versed in technology, battling, and apparently physics. However smart Steven claims to be however, that doesn't mean he won't do some dumb stuff sometimes. And bothering a Skarmory? That's definitively dumb.
While you managed to make me anxious about Linoones, a feat I'm still impressed by, you made me scared of Skarmory. It displays a real murderous intent, going for the throat several times. It manages to gore Steven up, and cut and nick at him. It might have been willing to just forgive and escape the first time, and the second time might have been a nuisance. But there would be no third time, it will bring vengeance to Steven, in the form of a razor sharp beak.
Other chapters had shown me that Skarmory was determined, but now I get to see how dangerous and deadly that determination can be. It is not a dumb Pokemon driven by instinct by any means, it's got a will, an intent, and that's hurting Steven.
I enjoy your explanation on why you can't re-use Pokeballs. The eletronics within get damaged! Personally I find my planned obscolence explanation funnier, and more amusing, but your probably makes more sense.
And once again Metang shines through. It has grown from that stubborn Beldum hasn't it? I find that while Steven is usually the straight man having Metang doing it for him, just rolling its eyes at him, well when Steven's acting especially crazy, then someone has to. Metang who is probably tired of saving the life of his trainer and just wishes he'd settle down making pots instead.
And what a kooky but caring character the vase maker is. As much importance as he places on collecting soot, and as ridiculous as Steven finds the term apprentice, the man clearly has skills. And hey it's not unpaid labor. Steven learned a skill AND got some ultra balls.
I was going to ask how the man knew Flannery, but then I remembered this takes place before the games...it would be her grandfather wouldn't it? Who knows, maybe she's there, just a cute kid like Brawly was?
Another excellent chapter. I'm going to tread carefully in route 113 from now on. Even if all that Steven did was the essence of capturing legendaries "Get in the damn ball" "Pokeball, great ball, dusk ball -huh? Ultra ball? Premier ball, c'mon I only got 72!", guess that Devon Heir money was good enough to pay for it. He does have the credit.
Nice chapter! Looking forward to more
| FenrirUnchained chapter 12 . 5/10
There's a lot to unpack in this chapter, what with Steven recieving a royal butt-kicking from his now captured final partner (albeit eons away from being able to be referred to as such). The level of violenced depicted in this entry was certainly a CUT above the rest, however given the subject matter it made sense here. Skarmory seems as though it would indeed be a fearsome Pokemon in the wild, and a difficult one to tame at that, and these events certainly drove that point home. The use of restricting Steven's access to his other partners was well-placed, as a few of them could have made the daunting task measureably less so. The mini-story in here with the glassblower was an enjoyable touch as well, and his gift of the Poke Balls directly affected Steven's success in capturing his soon-to-be air transportation. Skarmory is going to be a hurdle in Steven's journey beyond the muck of capturing the flying metal bird; its training and taming, and earning its trust and respect is likely to be a large undertaking in and of itself. How will the intrepid Steven solve for that? Guess I'll just have to keep reading onwards!
| Light Side chapter 13 . 4/3
HA! I shouted victoriously at Wallace and Juan's defeat. Metang is so adorable and funny in this fic you're making me love it more and more. And to think I left it in my pc for so long...I hope there is a rematch with Wallace!
| Light Side chapter 12 . 4/3
Wew yes the exact temperment of a skarmory, those blasted things always gave me a hard time. Man I was actually scared for Steven there, and poor metang. You are an amazing action writer. I would have wet myself and prepared for death. Excellent chapter!
| Light Side chapter 11 . 4/3
Oooo Steven, daaaang. That trainer made me angry too, although I have to admit to calling pokemon useless ie normal type. But my god that was brutal. I would have been pokemon aren't useless only their trainers. Steven has much better control over himself than me. I love that your writing can provoke strong reactions in me. But now I must take a shower that trainer just disgusted me
| Light Side chapter 10 . 4/3
I don't even know what my favorite part of this chapter is, too many good things. Gulpin's bit was hilarious and seared an image in my brain that I'll never forget. And poor Elektrike, that was a well written bit and Steven playing hero haha. I'm glad he ended up with Wattson! This chapter really drew me in completely. You got Wattson spot on, including that really unnervingly annoying laugh he has
| Sir Johnnie chapter 17 . 4/2
TL;DR: Thank you for such an amazing story!
First of all, congratulations on finishing the story. It's always a relief to see such good work completed (yeah, I know there's an epilogue to come, but at this stage, it's just formality lol).
I loved how you were able to give life to each character (people and pokémon), bringing forth their feelings and impressions about each obstacle encountered throughout their journey.
But the highlight of your work, for me, is the battling. In my opinion, you're one of the best writters of the site in that segment. Never before I've had been so entertained and invested to read word after word to experience the atmosphere and discover the outcomes of it (even if they were somewhat predictable, due to the nature of the main theme, of course).
All in all, thank you for the hard work and for such an amazing experience. I hope to read more of you in the future!
P.S.: apologies for any "broken English" you might find there. As you can see, it's not my main language.
| Jeff Excellence chapter 17 . 4/1
tl;dr: it was very good
I'll start this review with my thoughts on the focal point of this chapter - the Championship battle. Whilst the one the penultimate chapter is still my personal favourite, this one is a close second. You did a very good of making things tense and nervy, and the atmosphere you created was perhaps the highlight of this chapter, with things getting really quite nailbiting at times. Another aspect I liked was Steven's pragmatic approach, which was an interesting element of the battle throughout - my favourite example of this was his approach to the second Flygon was quite fascinating.
An honorable mention must go out to the man on the other side of the battlefield - Drake, the Champion. You've done this in previous chapters, but this chapter is a great example of you conveying a character's personality with admirable depth in a single chapter. His intimidating presence, his serious mannerisms and his ability to fight without even calling out his attacks all paint the picture of a very experienced, hardnosed trainer and a daunting final obstacle.
Something else I also liked was the conclusion to this chapter - whilst, as SilverRockets touched upon, the sight of a young and starry-eyed Drake was quite a nice one, something that I couldn't help but love was his delightful interaction with Metagross after the battle. It was, quite frankly, adorable, and I'm going to break the professional manner I'm conducting this review in to say that Metagross is a very, very good boye who I love and want to protect.
This is a good opportunity to bring up another nice little touch I enjoyed: the small interactions Steven has with the Pokemon in their Pokeballs. It was a great addition, and it's perhaps my favourite manifestation of the overall character of Steven - a very skilled trainer with unbreakable bonds to his Pokemon. Skills and bonds that were made and forged over the course of this excellently-written story.
I've only been around for the last two chapters, but I've enjoyed every second I've spent reading this fic, and I'm very excited for the epilogue. Take pride in this fic - it's one of the best I've read in a while.
| SilverRockets chapter 17 . 3/31
I've been sitting here for a while thinking of what to say; how exactly to begin this review. Because... god damn, this was one explosive final chapter. Holy shit.
I knew Drake was going to be the champion; he simply had to be. What better way to prove Steven's prowess than to have him go up against a team full of dragons? Just like he said; they are extremely tricky and always powerful. The whole part building up to the start of the match set the mood really well.
I can see why you needed to take so much time to plan and write this; every fight and every move used had a purpose and it served to escalate the fight. One of my favorite things was Drake not even needing to call out his attacks; he and his Pokemon are so close that a gesture with his hand is all that's needed. He's a trainer that reeks of experience and you showed that really well.
The battles were just long enough and easily followed. Just from the start that Flygon being such a pain in the ass was amazing, since it's my favorite dragon Pokemon and I'm glad you gave it enough time to shine. The way you used Claydol and Cradily, manipulating the space around them, was super creative and shows that Steven has a really sharp mind for battle.
But yeah, it all came down to Metagross, like I knew it would. If anything, you made sure to show that every single appearance of this Pokemon radiates just how powerful he is; far more than any other we've seen in this fic. I could feel every one of his hits; he is just a beast. His bout against Salamance was appropriately explosive and climatic :D You've inspired me; I was just about to start writing a battle and now I'm super pumped for it.
Oh man, that final scene... a younger, surprised Drake is such a wild idea, but I love it. And I can imagine Steven still reeling from the fact that he's the Champion; he probably hasn't accepted it yet. It's a perfect finish to the fic, for now.
This was one of the best journeys I've ever taken with a fic, and I don't know how to thank you for it. Every single chapter was a delight and while I'm sad that it's all over, I know that soon you'll write even better things and you'll continue improving yourself.
Thanks a lot for writing this, you really are amazing :D
| SelasVictoria chapter 17 . 3/31
Wow, there is not much I can say to this chapter. It was an amazing journey and I hope for a blasting epilogue.
| Guest chapter 17 . 3/30
Fox : This is really good! You made my hair rise. Will you cover how Steven returned to being a wandering trainer?
| FenrirUnchained chapter 11 . 3/21
Yes! This chapter was rife with the high octane battles that I've been wanting to see. The doubles match against the Mossdeep City gym leaders was well thought out and you pulled off the dual psychics' sentence-finishing in a natural and readable way, where others would have left it feeling rather cumbersome and forced. The gym leaders' unique battle strategy was clever as well, as was Steven's ingenuity in replicating the tactic.
The second battle of this chapter (I'm honestly shocked to be saying those words as it came as quite the surprise) was something special, as it showcased Steven's deep love and respect for his team and how far that has come when he is faced with someone who is in a similar manner of thought to himself long ago. The emotions of the battle aside, the actual battle itself was some of your best work yet and it is making me wish that I wasn't at work right now so that I could get to the Elite Four chapters and see just how far your battle writing prowess has evolved (yes that was intentional, I have no shame)!
To borrow a quote Wallace, I look forward to the next set of events with bated breath!