|Reviews for The Fire That Keeps On Burning|
| juaniu1994 chapter 1 . 10/16/2019
Will you update soon? Will there be something between Delia and Gary?
| Toby Hark chapter 3 . 3/10/2019
I loved the plot twists... Please continue the story... You are an amazing writer!
| Guest chapter 3 . 10/18/2017
| Ready To Flyxxx chapter 3 . 7/15/2017
Amazing! I'm definitely hooked on this story. It's been a while since I've been able to find a Multi-chapter fic that's really caught my attention, so I'm really excited to read this. You're already becoming one of my favorite authors!
I enjoy the premise of this story: Ash coming to terms with the struggles of being champion and how what he's dreamed of for years isn't as cracked up as he made it out to be. He should be happy, right? He has his dream job, a girl, and is able to battle day in and day out but along with that comes needless attention and a kind of ball and chain mentality. He isn't actually as free as he was when he began his journey all those years ago.
He needs someone to talk with and not Gary's therapy session. I think Misty is the best one to do so, and I love slowly unraveling the bits and pieces of why Ash feels the way he does, and how he is able to reach an understanding.
I can't wait to read more :)
| HollyNinetales chapter 3 . 7/4/2017
For real, this is great!
| HollyNinetales chapter 1 . 7/4/2017
Okay I really love this. It's different than all the other poke stories I've read. I appreciate that fact that you've matured Misty a lot. Honestly, I think she'd be over the whole yelling hot head thing once she got older and a lot of people don't write her that way.
| N-I-N-T chapter 3 . 5/14/2017
(pretty sure I didn't typo-check my last review, so, sorry in advance)
(I made it into an author's note, that means I'm famous, right?)
GEE, SUPPOSED TO BE DONE BY APRIL 1 SHE SAYS. STILL WORKING ON IT MAY 14 SHE IS. (Also, i have no room to say anything, I am -so- horrible at updating right now. Gl me and everyone else?)
But seriously, don't apologize for being late, this is a beautiful work of art; you can't rush perfection.
See, I like how you made it so champions are treated differently in every region, because I sort of feel that way, too. I always felt like since the Kalos league was harder to get into, there would be a lot more responsibility that came with it unlike other leagues that weren't as 'big'.
(NICE JAB TO THE ASHTON BELIEVERS)
Can i just say I love how supportive pikachu is? Especially even when he might be miserable. They're both so selfless, at least when it comes to themselves.
I WON'T BE WALKING IN COVERED IN SWEAT. I love Cilan. Omg. I love him so much! I love that you made room for these two people, and this rare ship because -in tears- they are so wonderful.
“At least he still had pikachu” I love the subtle realizations that Ash has, and even more the entire conversation that follows with Iris and Cilan. I want to quote the most important parts—but it was all delivered so well that I'm drawing a blank, or going to be re-writing most of the scene. Iris's blunt honestly and Cilan's...Cilanness is so refreshing.
(Ash doesn't know he has a type)
But I got to mention the “The truth part must cancel out the lie” BECAUSE it's so Ash. Agh.
Gary would have given him hell for this story, with lots of laughter in between—or, you know, laughter and less hell and then hell before more laughter.
“He let himself go” RIGHT. FAT PIKACHU FTW. (I'm convinced that was why he was fat in the OS, it's because pikachu was lazy as shit. Now he's all slim and trim because he actually trains. XD)
Misty-makes-fun-of-his-bad-vocabulary-Waterflower strikes again.
“Beacuse he was oh so good at reading a map” Really? At 30 you can't read a map? Don't worry, me either, but I still got a few more years to learn.
“or if you've already made it to the top, you still can't...stop there...” that realization, huh? Just comes out of no where, huh? I loved that, though. He is the type of character that knows all along what he needs the most, but since he isn't good at inward reflection and reparation, he doesn't notice until it's already coming out of his mouth, and it's exactly what he needs to hear.
“Your journey will always be the best part of being a trainer” is like “It's not the destination. It's the journey”
I love how concerned Clemont became over Ash. ;w; They have such an underrated friendship. (Or bromance? Bromance?)
“I'M BORED!” hahhaa. ha. I laughed. I laughed so much. I wasn't expecting that to be so brutally honest. Holy cow.
“A FEW MONTHS” (spongebob narrator voice) “ten years later”
“Barely” -It's true. Ash is horrid at keeping in contact with people.
I...I feel so bad for Serena, but am proud of her for letting him go? I just. CAN'T THERE BE MORE THAN ONE ASH?
And Ash journey 2.0 begins. I loved the start of it, how he is jsut given random directions like in the olden days of the anime. Character of the day win. (Except for, oh, oh wait. It was a trap.)
(I liked the little call out to Jessie James and Meowth, who i love)
“Just go with it” haahhaha. “Uncle Grey-beard” hahahha. (the following sentences were deleted from incoherent typing while laughing)
“How is it you could trust me with classified information when I was fourteen, but not now?” WELL, ASH, YOU SEE...
I liked Looker's explanation on why trouble would follow Ash; but don't you know? Trouble doesn't find Ash, Ash finds trouble (just not intentionally) (Trouble and adventure are interchangeable right?)
OH THE PLOT THICKENS.
So, over all, I feel like I want to say I'm SO glad that you didn't fall into the trope that the only thing getting Ash down is his relationship with Serena, like, it plays a part—but more than that, it's his situation; NOT the only thing that is making his life confusing. I especially like the way that his 'new journey' immediately threw him back into what he was used to handling all these years; fighting Team Rocket, albeit in a different way. (Also, he went where Randall said was a special place and that makes me really happy) But more than that, i like the tone difference. (however intentional that was or not is up in the air) But I love how he goes from sluggish, and dreary, to the hopeful nature of having a purpose once again, how the narrative opens up. As Ash moves into 'being the hero' again, it takes on a feel more alike the anime.
BUT NOW, i gotta ask what this version of the world's view on pokemon trainers throughout their ages is? Do people just train as a job? How to people make money?!
“My hiatus lasts two months” SO IT WAS MORE THAN THAT. (he didn't get back in time. ha...)
I have to know what happens next! (Also, the pacing for this chapter was great, so don't beat yourself up!)
| N-I-N-T chapter 2 . 5/14/2017
(I told you that I was gonna review this at some point; well, ta-dah, here I am!)
Unfortunately, I won't go into as much depth as the other review, because I've already typed this twice and has the browser crash—SO. I mentioned this before, but your writing and grammatical sense are always so perfect that it is unbelievable. (Srsly, write a book) But on from that, I really like the descriptive writing in the first few paragraphs. It's not common that things get Ash down, but when they do, he's going to pretend like it's not—if not for himself, then for other people.
Also, i love the little conversation between Pikachu and Ash, it is by far one of the platonic friendships that is constantly over looked. I'm never great at incorporating pokemon into my stories, but you do it so well; it's kind of like my personal guideline.
(JUST KICK ASH WHILE HE IS DOWN, WHY DON'T YOU?)
Also, the whole engagement thing, woah. I love how he did it just because “he wanted to fix it” and it's the motto that one step further doesn't make it any better/easier; but it -is- something Ash would do. HE's devoted, one way or another. Blindly loyal, until the slow crash and burn. (also, was there a little bit of one-sided geekchicshipping in here? Did I read that right?))
(Is it normal to have a wedding date right away after the engagement? He doesn't know Bonnie!)
I love how Ash used the first out that he had; yes, it's the publicist! The league is so horrible (COULD IT BE THAT YOU AREN'T THINKING STRAIGHT?) BUT, i love how he paused on why he likes being a champion; because it's not his end goal! I. Just. Have. So many things I love about that little tidbit, because you and I talk frequently, but I don't know if I have ever expressed how much I love the idea that Champion!Ash is not a happy Ash. He wants to be a pokemon master, and plus he's spent -years- travelling the world, to have everything suddenly stop and require him to sit still and mind his manners, is almost unheard of. I like the -slow burn- of his realization though; super stoked, only to, well, you know; not have an answer right away when someone asks him; because Ash always has an asnwer.
“And this fortune teller in Coumarine City” “And have four kids.” -I laughed so hard because I can imagine his face in this moment. (i might draw that, tbh, it's perfect) he would believe something like that, or put it on his pro list.
Misty-straight-to-the-point-rationalization-make-you-feel-incompetent-Waterflower, everyone! I love how, despite her anger, she is still trying to help Ash through his little spell.
OMG. YOU JUST DID THE FATHER THING. MY HEART. I CAN'T TAKE IT.
It all started with Iris and Cilan, as it should. I love how Ash slowly realizes the error of his ways, and finds the solution to his problem (Albeit, not a solution, a way to avoid it long enough to come to a conclusion)
I feel bad for Serena, and also at the same time, for Ash. This is such a horrible situation to be in. (Why are we so mean to Ash?) It's so like Ash to agree to something to gung-ho, only to realize he's made a mistake quickly. Serena couldn't go, and I liked the genuine disappointment that he felt when she said she couldn't go, but like the way that he returned to being pretty excited to move forward with his trip after Serena agreed. (Are we ever gonna get a Serena POV? Because this poor girl right now has to know. She can't be that oblivious)
over all, good chapter, steady pace. Worth the wait. I have to give you some kudos for leaving Ash in character during these last two chapters, especially since he isn't any good at dealing with internal conflicts—him retelling the events to someone else with more experience is completely believable. (though now a part of me wonders what would have happened if it was Dawn or someone else in Misty's place as the story-listener...) ANYWAYS, I'm really enjoying this.
NOW ONTO CHAPTER 3.
| Guest chapter 3 . 4/27/2017
Omg love it!
| Plape chapter 3 . 4/27/2017
There it is, this is the only good pokeshipping story being updated right now. Keep 'er comin'
| absolutefaith chapter 2 . 4/24/2017
I missed you around here! Can't wait to see what you have in storage for us! I like how you kept Ash true to his character and I swear I can't understand why people keep hating Serena all the time. She's annoying, that's for sure, but she's a likable character that fell in love with a taken man (sorry Serena, pokeshipping all the way!)
| N-I-N-T chapter 1 . 4/12/2017
And the review you've been waiting for (inserts self-indulgent drum roll)
Ehem, well. Where do I start? The basics, I suppose. You're a phenomenal writer. You analogies, fluency, word fluff and technical grammar are something that everyone should aspire to become. The flow is flawless, never leaving hiccups or leaving the reader lost, and for what it's worth, your ability to portray emotions is on point and something to be envious of. Your writing is the definition of 'show, don't tell' because everything for the things that aren't said, there is much to be implied. Tackling the notion of 'still growing up at 30' is no easy task, but it's an exceptional one, because so many people think it's all going to be sorted out by then. Well, spoilers; it's not; and you've captured that perfectly.
Small details about the other characters in canon's lives to indicate a focal point where Ash is basing his own decisions is probably one of my favorite things in writing. Comparing without outright saying it. “This is where they are, but I'm not there yet, is that normal?” Ash not calling to let them know he was coming is always something i adore. Just so you know.
I love the tidbit that he paid off her mortgage; that's something Ash would definitely do for his mom if he ever hit it off big. I love the descriptions here; it makes ME feel nostalgic over the original series of the anime.
(YOU GAVE HIM A BEARD, WHAT?) I guess it's about time though, to be honest. Typical Ash scapegoating convenient flowers. (it's the thought that counts) I love how Delia is low-key happy to see him, and also low-key worried about his life but is so in character she just smiles knowing that no matter what Ash does she will still be happy. (Most of the time) “I suppose some things never change”
“SHAVE THAT MESS OFF YOUR FACE!” (OR ELSE!)
You already know I love all scenes involving Delia and his mother. D:
OAK; ack, “he can't really make the trip down himself anymore” killed me. I know Oak is old, and people age, but still, it's hard to imagine him ever getting to a point he needs help—because he's professor Oak, yo.
I snorted at the names, too. Leave it to Daisy and Tracey. I LOVE THE ANGELO ART REFERENCE, BTW.
(Misty would totally do the Ivy thing. Poor kid, uncle Brock will have to move past his discomfort)
“I can hit on whoever I want” BUT NOT HIS MOM, GARY.
(have I mentioned how much i love the clear flow and lack of mess in your dialogue scenes? They're just so beautiful and easy to read.)
Yep, Gary; whenever you need to find a legendary pokemon, consult the master of accidentally running into them expert Ash Ketchum. (I love that Gary is in this, btw. )
I LOVE IT WHEN THEY DRINK. Throw back to your first-ish story? ;D
Ash would do a terrible job shaving his beard off. I love the small physical details you place in your stories, they allot for some chuckles here and there, and bring the characters to life.
“I don't want to go home with anyone except myself.” Me too fam, me too.
AND MISTY CAMEO'S WITH HER MOM JEANS. THANK YOU. I AM ALIVE. (She -would- wear mom jeans btw. Because they're comfortable, and she likes fashion, but does she really understand fashion? ((I mean, did you see the red suspenders?)))
THE PICK UP LINE OMG. YES. (I've totally wanted to use that in a story, but idk if I ever have. I love that you used that. I laughed for ten minutes. I'm dying. Thank you)
“Being a pokemon master sucks. I don't really wanna talk about it” Oh, the only headcanon I've ever thought of that has stuck. Also, Gary's so in character it's KILLING ME. (Drink until he spills, terribad pick up lines on Ash's behalf. Save me, I'm laughing so hard)
'therapy session' Gary Oak, everyone!
“WHAT KIND OF GROWN MAN SAYS 'whoopsies'” is my new favorite quote of this story. Ah, man, i'm going to have a lot of those, aren't I?
I honestly love how nonchalant and brutally honest they are, despite the fact that Ash is drunk and driving his comments. Misty plays them off so cooly. It's amazing. There isn't awkwardness, and there probably shouldn't be at 30; i admire that direction.
(Always love the Misty and Ash interactions; you do them -so- well.)
Oh Ash, you lovable drunk, you. Too bad the hangover is always there. (pikachu cursing makes me giggle) Ack, low blow “You're never around”, Misty.
“It was weird seeing all these people that he'd introduced to each other bonding and moving out without him” MY PHILOSPHY.
I LOVE HOW ASH SPILLS THE BEANS; he literally got worked over by Misty, knows every button to press, Waterflower. Though the ending is probably the most intriguing part because it gets to what the meat of the story is really about. We've seen the build up, and we've seen the aftermath, but we get to see the reason. I love how it was written in a scenario where the story is going to be rehashing what has already happened. (I know there's a technical word for that kind of writing that isn't 're-telling' or 'flashback' but it's not coming to my head so..) ANYWAYS. I'm a sucker for stories that start that way. '”This is the chaos I'm in now; but all of it means nothing if I don't tell you where it started” is probably one of my favorite stories to read; but the easiest to lose my interest. So often we see the aftermath, and want to see what happens immediately after—like tell me the flashback in just a blurb and get on with it, BUT the way you've outlined the story so far, what happened before IS the more important part of the story—not what comes next; so you nailed that idea right on the head.
Anyways, you already know I'm a super fan of your work, and while I don't review as much as I WANT TO, I try. You improve every time you write something, and this is no different. I have said this a million times; but I. am. so. Jealous. Of. How. Well. You. Write. i. Just. Can't. UGH.
I honestly feel like this first chapter is one of your best pieces on Ffnet so far in terms of the pacing, writing and other technical stuff. While I can't say too much about the plot, I'm already interested in what brought Ash to his level; (and while I already have a feeling of where the plot is going) your writing is so spectacular, I feel like even if it was because Ash decided to join the circus, it would still be amazing.
| cake0108 chapter 2 . 3/27/2017
| Plape chapter 2 . 3/27/2017
As dumb as I think the word "headcanon" is, this fic p. much aligns with my "headcanon" about how Serena and Ash's relationship would go. Like, she'd be super nice and caring all the time and Ash would feel like he had no reason not to be with her. Good story, post more
| bigb360 chapter 2 . 3/26/2017
I know I'm a Pokeshipper, so I may be a bit biased, but if Ash was every going to hey engaged to Serena, this is how I think it would happen just given what we have from the anime. She's the one infatuated with him, and it's fairly clear he really doesn't reciprocate. But i could see Ash kind of fall in line with the duty and peer pressure of the whole thing. Add to that Serena being a genuinely nice girl and you have the whole, "why not marry her?" dynamic. And in any other situation it might be one of those things that works out.
Well done so far. I'm enjoying the story so far. It's very well paced.