Reviews for Harry Potter, Master of Death |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Good chapter, but the idea that he can't "hit a girl" when the girl is much larger and striking him is a bit ridiculous. What is the use of martial arts if he isn't allowed to defend himself? Most of early martial arts is about non-lethal and low-impact methods of ending a fight. Sounds a little too much like the crap they teach in school these days, where the victim is in as much trouble as the perpetrator in any bullying incident. |
![]() ![]() ![]() tolle story! :) |
![]() ![]() Whelp, hope you and your family are well. Completely understand the abandonment, it looked like you started to struggle with the story around chapter 10 to 11. Thanks for trying though. It was definitely unique and interesting. |
![]() ![]() Do the supposedly genius level kids really think that no professor, not even a head of house or deputy headmistress could access the girls dorms? Also this: Harry, Hermione and Luna waited till they had entered the Potter home, before informing John about their findings Makes absolutely no sense. They literally can have John teleport to the train and I'd the girls and even place tracking charms on them and follow them home and wham it's all over. |
![]() ![]() Luna is only 3 months younger than Harry. Hermione is 10 months older than Harry and about 13 older than Luna. "Well Luna is a good bit younger than both you and Hermione, and " |
![]() ![]() This completely negates his involvement with the prophecy: A/N: As some of you have noted, Neville's Birthday is on the 30th canon-wise. I placed it on the 1st of August and decided to roll with it. |
![]() ![]() The story was very good! The foreshadowing (they would come to regret) though needs massive work. Currently it is something expected out of a 7 year old level book. |
![]() ![]() What a unique start. |
![]() ![]() Dang. Please come back and finish this. It was/is a great story. There shouldn't be very many loose ends and only YOU can end this satisfactorily. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Such a good story. Thank you for sharing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Really not interested in 11 yr olds drama there ch 4 it could have been written differently |
![]() ![]() Luna refers to Xeno as Daddy rather than Dad in the Canon Books . |
![]() ![]() Not sure if it's official Canon , but Susan Bones is normally shown as a redhead . In the first movie , she's played by the Director's Daughter - who's a redhead . |
![]() ![]() A bit fluffy but mostly good . Please remember Luna should add much humour to any Fic , just by being 'Lunaish' . It can be difficult to pull off but can be utterly hilarious when done right . Glad you've got Xeno calling her 'Moonbeam' also ... love all the pet names used for her in fanworks . |
![]() ![]() Clarisse isn't really a British name . Clarissa is much more likely . Sandpit instead of sandbox & never 'mom' ... it is Mum ... *rolls eyes* |