Reviews for Serpentine |
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RikudoNaruto1 chapter 1 . 4/24/2017 MOAR! |
Smutley Do-Wrong chapter 1 . 4/23/2017 Considering the lame mythology of the crow of a cock, the killing sound, a basilisk's Achilles heel, despite being sans feet. Created from a sterile, not cock fertilized egg, I suppose is as viable as a store egg with blastodisc, no blastoderm. The egg merely a vessel and nourishment for a magically created, spawn of magic. You might consider a segue from SOP basilisk 'rules'. Like WHAT IF the little wise info repository snakes, say a fertilized chicken egg is needed. Store bought generally are not. What if Harry makes do, say, a duck's egg from a nesting duck, or swan, or crow...raven... pigeon-nay, or swiped from a pet shop, a macaw or parrot. Or a wildlife rehab clinic or hobbiest, with injured or cripples raptors (falcon...hawk... owl, eagle). Then you are open to inventing a NOT basilisk, magic spawned UNIQUE animal without any preset "rules" or descriptions or abilities. Partly based on 'real' myths or not. For example, a flying, teleporting fire snake, with wings or not, with or without feathers, or scaley 'feathers'. Frankly, basilisk trope, IMO, over the top silly. Killed by rooster crow, made from chicken, hatched by toad. I would even toss the silly killing gaze crap. A MISTAKEN exaggeration of able to immobilize, with say a sort of magic impedimenta, immobolus, or stupify. No hands, cast by head or eyes. Biting or eating paralyzed victims, no victim around to say, "no, the gaze didn't kill me, just froze me from fleeing the damn beast." Well, THAT'S my take and how I'd do it. I'd also suggest you carefully weigh pros and cons, of revealing the nature ( bamf xxxxx basilisk), willy nilly, to these adult mages. PLUS, for example, an AUROR who enforces laws, and an assistant headmistress RESPONSIBLE for well being and SAFETY of entire student body. And NOW they know Harry has a freaking BASILISK. You might consider them NOT knowing. Note if they don't know, or via of my 'mystery' not-a-basilisk, animal trope, you avoid the "S H I T, the kid has an illegal class xxxxx freaking basilisk!", PROBLEM. |
kingkonghill chapter 1 . 4/23/2017 This is an Interesting concept. One that I don't see used very often. I will admit that I'm disappointed in myself for not being able to help you, but I'm glad to see you've took matters into your own hands. It's also funny how similar our tastes are when it comes to the stories you write. I know I said that I would help you, but I think you misunderstood my offer. I have a fair amount of knowledge on all of the franchise you've written about. I know I'm not the best when it comes to helping you, but I'll extend my offer anyway. After all, I love talking about all of them (well, except maybe for Fairy Tail after this last arc in the manga). Anyway I digress, the point I'm trying to make is I'll always be there to support. You're a great writer and I really enjoy our conversations. Please tell me your response, and as always have an awesome day. -kingkonghill out PS: hope you'll be able to clear your writer's block, and it's nice to have you back. |
guhgiog08e9rhiogoiheg98whgiogo chapter 1 . 4/23/2017 Great start, looking forward to more! |
Nega Mewtwo chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 Very interesting start. I have always liked the stories where Harry takes a snake to Hogwarts, and I wish there were more stories of him speaking to the Basilisk. You just combined two of my most favorite concepts! Hope to see more! |
InflatedChimp chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 On one hand, interesting concept. On the other, please don't abandon your other stories. When was the last time you updated Dragonearth, or the Inheritance story the name of which I forget, and its probably been about a year since you updated Outcast Dragon King. |
Lord of the Disc chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 Very good start. Really like the premise. Looking forward to reading more. |
sandstorm25555 chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 Nice start to story. One part is strange, how do they have access Grimmauld Place, while Sirus black is in prison. Keep up the work. I can wait for next chapter. |
TheFauxWriter chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 Excellent! Though it's only just begun, this is already shaping up to be an excellent story. There aren't enough stories like this out there, and those that are rarely get very far before the author quits. You have a great writing style, always a good mix of description and dialogue. I hope this story goes far, and that you get over your block with your other stories. |
J.W Raptor Blue Is The Best chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 This is interesting and I wonder what the snake going to be called. Update this soon please. |
DementedOwlWitch chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 Awesome! I really enjoyed this. Great job and I'd love to see more. |
Arnie1701 chapter 1 . 4/22/2017 Interesting start! Can you imagine a Gryffindor with a pet snake? LOLOL. If that snake met up with Scabbers, hehe. |