|Reviews for Invictus|
| FractiousDay chapter 2 . 6/5
A dull mess. Stop putting things in brackets and use capital letters correctly.
| Joeya12 chapter 4 . 5/31
Excellent story so far. Please keep up the good work. Thank you for your time. I look forward to the next update.
| robinshahonline chapter 1 . 5/31
Good story so far. Will like to read more. Just a suggestion though. There should be more story progression than details. Having great details like landscape, clothes, etc.. should be supplementary to the actual story. Also, please give us Harry's thought process. I felt like he does not really care about his father's death. Hope you get the right balance.
| 1529 chapter 4 . 5/30
Interesting so far, but it's extremely confusing why Harry hasn't done anything about Jon's murder. Harry should be greatly familiar to Eddard Stark and Robert, so it would make sense that he would be at least warning the Starks about what happened... he knows that there is going to be a war of succession, gathering allies quickly would be the obvious thing to do, especially for someone who has the experience that Harry does.
I look forward to seeing where this goes, but Harry is either currently apathetic to his father's murder or extremely unimpressive for someone of his history and experience.
| beatshield chapter 4 . 5/29
Great story so far
| Athran chapter 4 . 5/29
Great story. I am really enjoying it.
| Tempest S chapter 4 . 5/24
Well I thought this chapter was better than the previous ones. They had detail but not enough story for me. You wrote about the people, the landscape, the clothing but then nothing much happened in the chapters. I remember he died and was reborn at some point, he broke up a brewing fight between two of his lords/bodyguards, he gave his horse to his squire, he met a Lady and slept with her, he fought the hill tribes. That sounds like it could happen in 1, 1 1/2 chapters. This chapter I felt had much more story progression. Detail is nice but I don't want to read a story that's more details than story. This chapter was better balanced for me.
| francisvirus chapter 4 . 5/22
| celine.sLineC-Line chapter 4 . 5/22
i m sad to read the same fall of a stark child again
i hope harry is going to grow stronger
see you next chapter
| dandraft15 chapter 2 . 5/20
What a distasteful bunch of characters, there is not a single one that I would like to know more about. From the first chapter this whole thing is confusing too, like you are continuing a conversation that we never had.
All the best with your fix.
| Blunacy14 chapter 4 . 5/20
Sooo soo happy to see this updated( and the written) the rewritten chapters are really good and set a good basis for this story! I can’t wait to see what will happen. I have a few questions about Harry’s and his capabilities and magic although I’m sure you will clarify ten in future chapters. On a more serious note there are a few grammar mistakes in the bit before bran climbs the tower when thinking about his mother asking him not to climb (just pronouns making bran female as catelyn male). I hope you continue this great work as there is soo much potential!
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/19
I like the story it's nice and does not waste time moving on but man does it need to be checked for mistakes. It's the first time I ever said it about a story but you have a lot of mistakes in this story like why did you go with tully house? It's house Tully and then there's kevin lannister being lord paramount of the trident lol that's so stupid. You gotta fix those mistakes and your sentences some areust bunched up and weird to read.
| bennibob chapter 1 . 5/19
is a good story, Look forward to seeing how it progresses
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/17
needs editing and a lot less pointless talking between people you never bother to introduce.
| s.k.f.f.f chapter 4 . 5/17
damn that little finger...