|Reviews for Orange Star High: The Cell Games|
| NBoss01 chapter 15 . 5/10
For a start if you want to make characters ‘OOC’ compared to their baseline with an event you probably should give time to the event rather than summarizing it to an exposition.
You do an uncomfortable amount of exposition and you do it blatantly, try to make it feel more organic and spaced out.
Gohan is a bit OOC even considering what you set up for him.
With you saying sayaman isn’t in the story it’s a lot odd that Videl would be s suspicious of Gohan.
The tone of this seems all over the place initially, not sure if the comedic elements blend all to well with the Drama bits you’re trying to employ.
There seems to be alot of filler elements of descriptions and micro-actions you’re adding in which isn’t adding all too much besides extending the length arbitrarily.
The POV switching for those slight tid bids don’t seem to add enough with the other perspectives to warrant the use of them.
Interesting concept you had here but you squandered it by not adding anything of real substance to the situation. The love aspect was the most forced thing displayed within the last few chapters with the lack of set up with those character making the drama your trying to impose fall flat.
| NBoss01 chapter 8 . 5/10
I’m slightly confused by the reaction of the class, everybody watched the cell games on the TV and I’m pretty sure the video and audio didn’t cut out until the SSJ2 transformation, I can maybe understand them being more sympathetic knowing that its their classmate there but they should know and have seen this all before.
I can understand that Gohan in this AU would be a bit firmer but this is within the realm of OOC here and is a bit hard to swallow.
For such a rehashing of the events here, the isn’t all to much substance being added here besides the obvious anger towards Hercule, with Gohan not developing any meaning full connections nor any meaningful connection established between Hercule and anyone else it just seems like a normal mans first reaction to the cell games which while slightly cathartic not too interesting.
| NBoss01 chapter 7 . 5/10
The revel here felt pretty forced, the narrative build up to this moment is pretty lack lustre, the gratification which is gained from this scene only really comes from pre-existing hype outside the story with what was built within the story here being very limited to the usual Hercule worship and Gohan being kinda angry every now and then.
That aside, the reaction of the class felt forced and a bit overly cartoonish lessening the impact of the scene, with no real developed characters in the scene its just meh.
| NBoss01 chapter 5 . 5/10
I understand Gohan being angry about how Hercule acts with how Hercule took the dub but its been 7 years and it would be natural for him to be someone used to it, also, seemed quite continent that Videl doesn’t notice how he acts here.
Why would Hercules allow for this to be played soo easily with him knowing what happened and knowing that is would be the full clip.
| Axccel chapter 1 . 4/6
Hmm, if I remember correctly, Gohan in the show thought pretending to be normal was silly and pointless. He hid his identity out of fear of his mother, who wanted people to think he’s normal. Ironic.
| yaoigurl101 chapter 3 . 11/24/2020
that's not comedy, that's abuse
| D3J8Q chapter 1 . 7/12/2019
Would have been better if you used TFS script.
| Hypnoyoukai chapter 5 . 6/10/2019
Videl stalker creepy wtf
| Gohanforlife chapter 7 . 4/25/2019
Sos just gonna rant
Who does this bitch videl think she is when she said 'I hope so gohan , I need to know everythin'. NO YOU DONT BITCH YOU IS A CREEPY STALKER WHO IS ADDICTED TO GOHAN BECAUSE HE DOES NOT WORSHIPP YOU AND TELL YOU HOS ENTIRE LIFESTORY WHEN HE FIRST MET YOU!
| Enforcer209 chapter 17 . 2/7/2019
Well that’s the kind of story I like it’s short and entertaining great work
| dld51 chapter 15 . 12/15/2018
This was a great story. Please continue and update.
| gabelou1991 chapter 18 . 3/10/2018
| sexy Seren chapter 18 . 1/26/2018
| HellsMaji chapter 3 . 10/23/2017
Another story where gohan is a pussy and doesn't stick up for himself? He just cowers and takes the child abuse.
| zfj chapter 18 . 10/15/2017