|Reviews for The Lost Miraculouses (SYOC)|
| kiwiandkitty chapter 2 . 8/12/2017
I'm really excited about seeing more of this! I saw that it was updated recently and flipped out! Hopefully, you guys can start updating more, too. After waiting so long I started to get anxious.
I'm super happy about this chapter. I know a few other criticized it, but I actually thought going over the miraculous and mentors idea worked out well. I do agree that some more show, less tell would be appreciated, but it was far from annoyingly bad.
And I did notice a few mistakes (Keep in mind that "section" means the parts separated by lines):
- Section 2, Sentence 2. "Emberly had dragged in" inhim?
- Section 2, Paragraph 14. "Well, your more mature than me." Your should be You're
- Section 4, Paragraph 7. "Emberly exclaimed, trying to brush of her..." of should be off
- Section 4, Paragraph 13. "Do we get to choose new hilders?" I'm assuming hilders should be holders.
- Section 4, Paragraph 15 "They aren't very common and we're thought..." we're should be were in this context.
- Section 4, Paragraph 19 "Thanks okay," Is this supposed to be 'That's okay'?
- Section 4, Paragraph 19 "He would probably makes things worse..." makes should be make.
- Section 4, Paragraph 21 "she wanted to know why they put of all people..." put should be out.
There are also run on sentences and extra commas spread through the chapter, but they aren't that big of a deal, so I haven't mentioned them. Hopefully, this helps you guys!
Again, I really enjoyed this chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one!
| ArmaduraStar7 chapter 2 . 8/12/2017
Woo! Update! I loved this chapter, Arwen seems really nice. I like Emberly and Wesley, and Amora is pretty funny (at least to me). Amazing chapter, thanks for updating!
| OACrutchfeild chapter 2 . 8/10/2017
I liked this very much! The part with the little girl was truely adorable! I can't wait to see more of this fic! Fingers crossed!
| Bambooozled chapter 2 . 8/10/2017
I enjoyed reading this! I'm very glad to see this updated, I was worried it had been abandoned. That would be a real shame, because it does have a lot of potential! The writing is very good, and the characters are excellent. I really like Emberly and Wesley, though I'm a little iffy on Awren. I'm sure I will warm up to her as her personality develops. Some sections were over elaborated a little, so if I had one critique, it would be that. But overall, very good work! You seem to be taking on quite a number of OCs, which will be interesting. Good luck, I'm excited to read more!
| yellow 14 chapter 2 . 8/10/2017
The writing is...a little off to be honest. There are typos (such as hilders) and you've gone and done a little too much unnecessary exposition (especially when talking about the history of the Miraculous's and their role. As fans, we will already be familiar with this. Your OCs flick minor warning alarms, particularly Arwen. (Unusual names do that to my Mary Sue radar. It tends to be a warning sign.) Also, the fact that they seem to know about the current holders is concerning. Before I forget, more show and less tell. Details like their parental disapproval and their studying at uni would be better shown than just dumped on us like this.
That said, the idea is fairly decent. And the OC characters pretty human. Where are your exchange students coming from?
Also, when do you plan to close this? I did consider joining one of these before, but alas I was too late to join.
It should be interesting to see how you handle so large a cast. With all the other people's characters in hand, it should be a challenge.
| Random Reviewer1 chapter 2 . 8/10/2017
This is AMAZING!
I really enjoyed the scene where Arwen was struggling to wake up (lol I felt her pain) and I also really enjoyed Wesley's character it's really well written and love able and I just LOVE it l!
Also will you let others know about which OCs have been accepted and which haven't?
Anywho TIL next chapter!
| Mach Tails chapter 1 . 5/15/2017
This is really intersaesting! Can't wait to see who the Villains are!
| imafangirlforever chapter 1 . 5/8/2017
Ah oh my, oh my!
This looks quite interesting. Both of your (as I can't distinguish who writes what) writing styles really appeal to me, and I admit that the level of detail in your OC forms is intriguing. :O Expect an OC submission within the next day or so! (I'm an absolute dork when it comes to SYOC stories.)
| Ephemeral Reverie chapter 1 . 5/8/2017
Looks interesting. I'll plan on submitting a character soon, but seeing how much detail you want (which is totally a good thing!) it may take me a day or two. I like the idea that you're having characters come from all over the world, which will hopefully bring more diversity to the cast. The fact that you already have the miraculous' picked out already is an interesting decision to make, but I'm not complaining. Not having any one character completely overpower the rest makes total sense. Besides, I looked at all the ones you two made and it looks like a real good list to pick from. Anywho, good luck and I look forward to more from you two!
| WizardingWhovian chapter 1 . 5/7/2017
This seems interesting so far