|Reviews for Prison Story|
| Baisy chapter 9 . 8/22/2006
loved it .
and i would like some more .
| scifithinker chapter 9 . 7/22/2006
I can see how this story was nominated for a Stargate Fan Award; the plot line shows some wonderful ideas. The problem, however, is that the many grammar and spelling errors make it hard to read. You need a beta reader, not only to catch your grammar and spelling mistakes but also to point out your characterization errors. You wrote Sam out of character more than once, which is something a good beta reader would have pointed out to you. I also suggest you post your writing in a double-spaced format; all the lines run into each other, and it is easy for the eyes to track to the wrong line.
I'm sorry you chose to make the statement about requiring five reviews to continue the story. That's just manipulative.
Make the commitment to your readership and, more importantly, to yourself to finish any story you start. I found the story through the fan awards which will not even accept incomplete stories. I also don't read incomplete stories because some authors either take weeks to update or don't finish it at all.
I know many of my comments are negative. Please don't interpret them as a suggestion that you stop writing; it doesn't. If I didn't like your story, I wouldn't bother to critique it. It's just that a couple of more steps in the writing process would result in excellent stories from you.
I hope my comments are helpful because I'm going to check out your other stories now. For pleasure reading, not to nitpick.
| Mars05 chapter 9 . 9/24/2003
Very nice! I want more, more, more! I love this story. Better than Paradise, but still, both are great. You've got a gift here, sir. I can sense it. There is no way in hell you can stop writing these stories. Do it for the group: Standing by for chapter 10.
| SGC ME chapter 8 . 3/18/2003
that was good so keep up the chapters! It was a bit confusing in the middle chapters but i managed to follow.
keep it up...
| judge mimi chapter 6 . 3/9/2003
this is by far one of the most confusing stories I have had the pleasure of reading. Where is this going? I know that when you finally finish it I will have to re-read it at one sitting to make sense.. Good job if thats your intent/.
| beutifuly tragic chapter 5 . 3/7/2003
0. can't stop here.*sigh* I guess I will have to wait patiently for writting, it's terrific!
| aLeX24 chapter 5 . 3/7/2003
wow your story is so good! more soon please :)
| judge mimi chapter 5 . 3/7/2003
Prison Story seems to be written in the mode of a sci-fi Hitchcock vein. So far, so good. Tough type of story to write..
| Judge mimi chapter 4 . 3/4/2003
I am reading "Prison Story". I like where it is going, although it was not expected.. Some of the wording is a bit vague and may not get your meaning across. I am reading this in English.. Is English your first language?
| Sailor C chapter 4 . 3/4/2003
Sounds good so far! I can't wait to read more! _
| beutifuly tragic chapter 3 . 3/3/2003
Keep ! I love it. I'm not going to be able to wait very long for the next part. Personally, i think that it's ok, and probably in character for sam to be emotional about what happened to her. Once again, great job!
| shiplover chapter 3 . 3/2/2003
BRILL! keep it up
| Computer Guy chapter 2 . 3/1/2003
Intriging start. I'm interested to see where it goes so write more soon.
| shiplover chapter 2 . 2/27/2003
well, it was good, but i think you should start to make Sam a bit stronger, i don't think that she cry's tht easily, and like something really bad must hav happnd on the planet, like really bad, i dunno..
| Sam chapter 2 . 2/27/2003
So far I'm enjoying the story, but you asked about how real it seemed - well, 1) she would have to file an official mission report, so there's a limited amount of time that they would be able to respect her privacy and 2) although she may not have been able to actually do anything, I just don't see Sam sitting by when the soldiers were attacking that girl. Even if all that happened is that she got knocked out, I think she'd have jumped in.
Keep going. I'm intrested to see how it ends.