Dang I just found this story and now I have to wait for the Battle of the Citadel!

me fiending for s new chspter

Did we forget the normandy was supposed to return to the citadel after noveria? Not that it matters to me as a reader, but its an inconsistency and it seems like the author forgot it as its not addressed at all.

The krogan film reviews were a good laugh for sure.

Krogans with velociraptor pets are nightmare fuel.

Great job with the video reviews.

I mean, I like it so far now we are into the story proper

And so it begins, the final battle of ME1. Absolutely fantastic chapter and I'm so excited to see how the battle differs now with all the prep Brock and the team have done. Hope you are doing well, take care and have a great weekend!

Could Alenko be another SI whose goal was to romance shepard?

I think CaptainDickScratcher (an earlier commenter) might be leaning a bit too far in his final remarks, but the overall suggestion might be right. Canon Shepard had their control freak faults, but with how the VI wasnt covered on this go around, I have a sinking feeling that in this AU something has gone terribly wrong. Maybe Kaiden's a plant. Maybe Shepard's too much of a hardliner. Maybe the Prometheans slipped upnor the Reapers upped their game, but any way you flip it I got a feeling thay Brock's future knowledge is up in smoke.

Aside from the Shepard team section, the rest of the chapter was a little meh. Didn't feel like much happened since it was just explaining prep time.

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On a different note. Could Brock make a documentary about the events of ME1? As a documentary he could use real helmet cam footage. As a Spectre Jane could give the ok to use the footage and if the council only learns about it after its made they can’t stop it from circulating on the net. Not only would it make him money as people would want answers on what happened. But he could point out things that would make it harder for the council to cover things up. Like if the Geth could build Sovereign then why did they only build one? And many more things. It would be fun to see movie reviews of it.

It would need to be watched in one or two sittings so a lot of crew dynamics would need to be left out. But Brock could make a video game too that goes into things in more depth. Unlike the real Mass Effect the player can’t pick their gender. Both of these would make Jane more popular but also bring the galaxy together. The Normandy had a Turian, a Quarian, an Asari, a Krogan and humans working together. It is a good message to send.

Brock has already made one video game so why not more? Mass Effect 1 seems like a good enough place to go next. It’s not like he can make a game about ShieldStar fighting slavers … or can he? Him taking slaves is basically an open secret at this point right? He has had one or two leaks so the underworld knows it’s him. Maybe a multiplayer FPS. Something like CS GO. ShieldStar Vs Slavers. This way slavers might buy the game so they can take their anger out on ShieldStar even if it is just virtual. Completely missing the fact they are giving ShieldStar money by buying the game.

Also is that Mass Relay an Alpha relay? That is the type from the ME2 Arrival DLC right? That’s the type that can take you anywhere in the galaxy? Or I’ve read stories where every Relay can connect to every other Relay but it just takes a lot of power to do that. This lets the Reapers override the programing to go around blockades.

Waiting for two chapters to be out before reading them now seems like the right choice … even if I had to split this up into two comments. I would have been a little disappointed if I thought we would get action in chapter 55. Don’t get me wrong I think this is needed but the end of chapter 54, which this first comment is on, made it seem like things were starting in 55.

Before I was ok with Jane doubting Brock but a part of me just saw it as a way for the story to move forward. Now I see where she is coming from more. Characters need to make mistakes as no one is perfect but they need to learn from them too. I think she should have told Kaidan to shut up and asked Brock about the inconsistencies about him in private.

Is Kaidan’s motivation really just to get with Jane? I thought that was a red herring before and there was something more to it. I only played Male Shep and Kaidan seemed ok if a bit boring. Is this really what he is like with Fem Shep? Before I thought he was a little better than Ashley because he had a more interesting back story but you have pushed Ashley way into the lead as at least she learns and changes over time. I think I agree with Tali, this all just seems adolescent.

So far we haven’t seen any consequences for Kaidan. Unlike Ashley the reader never sees him get told off, it always happens in the background. Like Jane told Ashley off once and she seemed to do better but didn’t Jane tell Kaidan off too but he still caused problems. Hell Ashley had a problem with multiple of the crew but she never made it bad enough for most to be hostile to her or broke the team dynamic. Even if Brock was going to leave anyway he could have done it gentler but Kaidan made him not care and turned a scalpel into a sledge hammer. If Kaidan did it once then he could do it again. I think just to be safe Jane has to let him go. At least him getting kicked off the ship is something we can see so we know something happened to him.

Jane is still in charge of the ship right? So she could have Kaidan transferred off the ship and get a replacement right? They are in the middle of a mission so it wouldn’t make sense to do it now but once it is over I don’t see why she wouldn’t do that. I was hoping you would have him get better like Ashley seemed to but right now Kaidan is just annoying and I’d be ok with him out of the story.

With all the aliens leaving after Saren is dealt with Jane will only be left with Ashley. Sure Kaidan is a biotic but he can still be replaced. Jenkins survived his first mission right? Maybe after nearly dying he will be more cautious. Why a rookie was on the humans first stealth ship I’ll never know but he was part of the crew once so he can be again. Brock took Shiala as a prisoner right? So if she can be deemed safe and wants to make up for things she could join the Normandy and give Jane another biotic.

Or if Jane ends up going after Cerberus with the ME1 side missions she could get Jack out of jail early. Both ladies have a score to settle with Cerberus so they can bond over that. It would also be healthy for Jack to be around people she can trust.

Plus the prison Jack was being held at probably had a lot of money on it so if they try to capture Jane she could take the money after they are all dead. Brock isn’t paying for things anymore so Jane is going to need money. Some prisoners could have bounties on them Jane could collect too. A second team made up of marines could disable the self-destruct so she can get some prisoners out so she can get the bounties. If Brock tells her they will backstab her she could stealthily place explosives on the way to the trap. Have a trap of her own for when theirs is sprong. Maybe Brock wants some prisoners dead so pays for Jack to be freed which gets Jane in the door and puts a virus in the computers to give all the money in the accounts to Jane. Brock’s money is payment for those people dying so Jane can keep that money too.

Jane could use a techie though. Maybe Jenkins started to learn something while he was recovering in ShieldStar. His first mission was such an embarrassment he pushes himself to be better. Plus making his armor and shields better might save his life in the future. Techie Jenkins, soldier Ashley and psychotic biotic Jack, not a bad ground team and with Jane on every mission one can sit out to rest. There are options other than Kaidan and Jane could build a new team.

Granted Jane should tell Brock sorry. Since she knows everyone is keeping track of favors now she could make a list of favors she owes Brock. If he doesn’t want to be friends anymore she will still honor everything on the list. Having a Spectre owe you favors could come in handy in a lot of places. Then Jane should say Kaidan was out of line with how he acted and he was wrong about a lot of things.

Everyone didn’t put their all into the mission. Garrus’s father is able to get him an audience with the leader of the Turians in between ME2 and ME3. Tali’s father has some weight with the Quarians. But neither tried to use those connections at any point on the mission because it wouldn’t help. Brock being able to call the Council on short notice doesn’t mean much. Being able to talk to someone is a lot different to being able to get them to do something.

Kaidan said Brock should be supporting her more but what was he doing? Why wasn’t Kaidan supporting her more? Oh right he can’t. He didn’t even get her a drink.

But then Jane should say there is one thing Kaidan is right about. Brock isn’t telling them things. Being able to call the Council doesn’t mean he can get them to do things but the fact he can call them at all says he has connections. The fact he seemingly only exists in the galaxy for 3 years only makes that stranger.

Brock has earned her gratitude, loyalty and respect but not her trust. Those aren’t the same. He has helped her and Jane would help him if asked. She would feel safe with him watching her back in a fight and follow his lead. He has freed slaves and runs an orphanage which is morally right to her, not to mention all his hard work he puts into things.

But she doesn’t understand how he keeps being one step ahead of others including her. You need to understand someone to truly trust them. She simply lacks the capacity to trust him no matter how willing she might be. She knows something is up without the fact he gave her a recording when he thought he was dying in which he admitted he was keeping things from her. She should just tell him this. If he doesn’t want to talk that is fine but this is where she stands on their relationship.

Don’t know if this logic makes sense but it is something she could say. Though its not like Brock has told anyone he is from another dimension when this one is a video game. Mainly because people would think he is crazy but still. Really no one understands him fully. He has basically piled on the gratitude, loyalty and respect so much most people just give him their trust by default. Jane is a little bit more cautious and compartmentalizes things better.

I wonder if when Jane and him had their faces close to each other like they were going to kiss if Brock’s face showed fear. That one moment would show Jane for all his flirting he is afraid of getting close to someone. His comments are meant to push women away if anything. Jane would know his actions don’t line up with his goals for at least one thing.

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Nice job on this chapter and leaving it on a cliffhanger no less I'm really want to know what the next chapter is now and good luck

Great chapter, happy to see Shephard kicking herself, even though I don't like it. Hope it all comes together for her. She isnt wrong and Brock will have to explain somethings to her.

Considering the points put down shep still screwed the pooch but eh were all human. Also this will be spicy but hope brock preps more since the battle data will make it back to the reapers.