Quite contraire, this was a rather exciting read! Grammar and flow of the story are damn good; especially for a Darker Natsu story, which usually suck in that department. I am glad you are not going to turn him into a broody one-dimensional edgelord who bears purity seals containing slam poetry on the futility of life; every time I see a story portray Natsu like that, I die a little on the inside. Now then! I will admit that I was hoping we would see more of his childhood from the get-go; so we could see his struggles, and what pushed him to become this way; but I guess that will (really should) come in the future. Plus, plus... YOU'RE NOT GIVING HIM A STUPID FUCKING HAREM! ARRIBBAAA! My hate for stupid fucking Harem stories is on-par with South Korea's hate for North Korea, and vice-versa. The fact you're going to do a potentially interesting spin on NaZa has me greatly interested; and pleased already. The idea of two broken characters like that coming together, and realizing that through all the suffering and angst; they need each other, sounds like it would be something incredible.

Regarding Natsu's power, being able to injure three Oracion Seis members solo is rather overpowered; that, and having him fight against all these guys and it being the hardest fight they'd ever done would make him too powerful. It's rather too early to make a call on him being too OP, but I dunno; starting to seem slated that way me thinks. Then again, I suppose it would depend on just who he took on. I mean, all he'd have to do to injure or take out Cobra is do a Tom Araya Angel of Death Scream. I'll reserve judgement for now; and give my thoughts on the matter when the next chapters come out. Just wanna say though; that is a common pitfall Darker Natsu stories hit, they make him into a walking venerable God.

I would recommend scaling back the reward for bringing him in some; I really dunno how much Jewels translates out to in real currency, but 30 million for bringing in Natsu seems rather out there. It's not like he burned down Era, or shagged the Chairman's daughter, then the Chairman himself. Yer handling of Lucy is fine; like you said, this is pre-Tenrou. The fact you are going to make her into a more respectable character; and not into the awful fanservice device that Mashima turned her into in the canon has me excited.

About Mira, you don't have to make her into how she was in canon; but I would recommend scaling back her bitchiness some. I imagine she would reign it in some as time goes on; because if she kept being such an insufferable piece of shit even at 18/19 years old; I'd imagine she would eventually get thrown out of the guild. Or someone would get fed up, snap, and stab her until her eyes liquidize, and her facial bones collapse. Yer dialogue is fine, not the best I'd seen; but quite good compared to other stories of this type, and just many other stories in general. Kinda a nitpick I admit, but I don't think Makarov would call his members shitty brats; brats, sure, but not shitty brats. That seems to have more venom to it than he would have for them. 'Ol Vulfbad'll be following this, I look forward to seeing where you take this one.

Go now, and spread the word of Chaos,

-Svane Vulfbad

So good it made me nut. But please in future chapters dont make him an edgy emo make him sarcastic and snarky, rarely saw a fanfic with natsu having these character traits.

Loved it. Can't wait for the next! :D

This was amazing. I m extremely forward for the next update! I have seen this concept played around with before but non starting off quite as well as this.

How much power are u giving Natsu? is he more in the Tartatos arc level or the Avatar arc level?

I lived this, it reminds me of "slayers" by digemsmack. Great idea and i love the story so far, keepthis up. Hope to see you soon.

Nobody: She cut it while wearing Flame Empress Armor. When Natsu released his roar, Gray immediately put up a shield, however since he didn't have much time, it was rather thin. But this thin shield bought enough time for Erza to finish Reequipping the armor and she cut the attack WHILE wearing Flame Empress Armor. I apologize if it seems confusing, minor adjustmenets will be added to the story in near future. As for Natsu vs OS - it was a tie.

Iam confused,if ur natsu is strong that can destroy a dark guild and took on 3 members of orasicien seis(whatever they are called) and in a way won then why can erza cut threw natsu roar in halve?it should in a way dmage erza badly and before erza uses her fire empress armor(technically speaking she cuts natsu roars using ordinary sword)?,doesnt make sense,fyi not trying to be a downer but just clarify my confusion

Interesting stuff.

Dude, this awesome! I can't wait for the next chapter.

I was actually sad that it ended right there but it's a really good story.

such a great story, pls continue, its a new concept to a veteran reader of fanfiction like me