Reviews for Immemorial
Guest chapter 4 . 1/21
cumplimiento del deber pobres cuantos caen así
Camoss chapter 1 . 11/11/2017
Thank you for this tribute. May we always remember those who fight, have fought, and gave up everything for one word that is in both the Canadian and American national anthems:

Omnitrix 12 chapter 4 . 9/2/2017
Never let it be said that you don't finish strong. You have a very powerful speech here in the finale, .and imagery worthy of Thomas Kinkade. Beautifully done.

I was curious to see what this story would be like, especially since I wrote a Memorial Day fic of my own (notion Zootopia as such, but Zootopia related). I am not disappointed, though you have humbled me well and proper. This is far better than my own effort.
Omnitrix 12 chapter 3 . 8/29/2017
Very nice. This chapter felt much more centralized than the one before it, and the sheep - though rather puzzling (why does his surname have wolf in it) - makes a good unifying factor. I also likethe design you came up with for the Memorial Hall. Hope you don't mind if I borrow it for a book.

I can't help noticing that you seem keen to take any connection which one would expect to be strictly professional and hinting at it being more than that.
Omnitrix 12 chapter 2 . 8/29/2017
Another good chapter. I can’t help thinking that the story lost something for everyone having some relative with stories (kind of like what I call the Gobo Effect), and that such a number of stories would work better as a collection of some kind (tales exchanged in a support group, perhaps), but it makes more sense in the context of WWII, so that works.

The part with Major Fried kind seemed very in-character and made a good way to switch scenes and very well-timed from a storytelling perspective, though the parting quip among the sows seemed like an off note in a couple of ways.

What really makes this chapter for me, I think, is that the sisters who had lost so much were dwelling on what they had gained from their father and on promoting healing in others. That was very touching.
Omnitrix 12 chapter 1 . 8/25/2017
You had me going at the start. I thought at first that it was Nick who had died.

Excellent handling so far. A few things - very few, mind you - felt out of place, but the tones and emotions were very well done..
Sergeant Sargent II chapter 4 . 6/13/2017
Two of the guest reviews are mine, my phone logged me out for some reason.
Guest chapter 4 . 6/13/2017
This story is an excellent tribute. Well done!
Guest chapter 3 . 6/13/2017
as he mumbled something about an elephant sized crater that was filled in eventually

Laughed hard at that. I love the implied stories you stories you sort of fill in for yourself.
Stubat chapter 4 . 6/12/2017
Nice. A good way to remind us of the costs of safety and freedom. Thanks.
TortillaOverlord chapter 4 . 6/12/2017
That was beautiful
Stubat chapter 2 . 5/30/2017
Another great chapter. Nice that the ladies were able to share their story and help lighten up Judy's gloom. The "What ifs" can eat you alive. I like the presentation and respect shown. (And Winterbunny's art piece for you was great. Beautifully done.) Also nice that Nick is supporting Judy here. Bogo and the others were gracious in showing the rookies what Memorial Day is about, and how many it applies to.. Thanks for sharing!
Stubat chapter 1 . 5/30/2017
Some good backstory here. Wondering, (Of course), what happened with the incident that has Nick and Judy so down. Definitely will watch for more. Always need to remember those who have served. A blessed Memorial Day. Stubat
Sergeant Sargent II chapter 1 . 5/29/2017
It's always fun seeing a little back story on the scary unapproachable characters. Though the circumstances aren't always the most desirable.

I like the banter between the vets, it was perfect.

My other favorite part was Luproc's pack. It was touching and fitting.

The biplane incident is one I want to read more about.

And now I'm curious about Luproc's pack too. There is a huge implied story there. theirs could be a good one. It probably would be hard to tie in with Predation directly, but the characters could cross over along with their relationships to each other, offering a place to explore the use of the tame collars during warfare, with possible guest appearances from Honey. And I wonder what book they chose? It wasn't important to this story, but it could be to theirs. A story of their time fighting interspersed with instances of this ritual could be very powerful. What would they use as bookmarks? What would each of their bookmarks look like? Who is entrusted with the book to carry it? They don't only read when someone dies, so the tone difference between reading if they all lived or didn't would hurt, along with the groups reverence each time they placed a bookmark. Luproc might associate each chapter of the book with certain memories, the setting and events around time they first read those parts. Scuffs and scorch marks on the book itself would have significance, along with stains and wrinkles on particular pages. Maybe they protected the book the way old musket era military units protected their flags? It could be emotionally significant that Luproc survived to protect the book.

Curious to see whether we get details of judy's trajic incident.

Great work, I look forward to the rest!