|Reviews for White Rose|
| pspinler chapter 5 . 9/2/2003
I am very impressed with and am very fond of your writing. Periodically, I reread White Rose to again enjoy your work. You have very in depth, sympathetic, and believable characters, a good plot, and develop a story very nicely indeed.
I do have one plot question that bugs me considerably, though. Specifically, it relates to your sympathetic portrayal of the Amazons. I think you missed the boat a bit, especially in chapter 5, with the love pills, and as a larger issue with the entire 'marry the man who beats you'.
The entire amazon schtick here is stll unwilling enslavement and entrapment. Yet, the entire issue is glossed over in your story, and neither Shampoo or especially Cologne is called on the carpet for it. None of the other characters seem to be angry with them for attempting to enslave Tatewaki, only for the side effects of what happened to Kasumi and Ranma. Further, no one seems to attach any blame Cologne for her part in the affair.
In short, I suggest the other characters would have made a much bigger deal of this than they did.
Please take this in a good spirit - if the only thing I can find to pick at in your story is a single plot point, you have done very well indeed. My sincere thanks to you for your writing.
| DarkCitadel chapter 16 . 5/29/2003
About Ranma's mom, I've seen the fan sub episode when his mom is introduced. You’re not going to get much, if anything from it in regards to Nodaka's character.
I haven't seen the episode after that though which I believe is the last episode of the anime. Maybe there is more added about her character, but I'm doubtful.
You are going to have to use the Manga for her. There are several chapters in the Manga that show off a bit of Nodaka's character.
Unfortunately there is not much interaction between the two when Nodaka finds out that Ranma and Ranko is the same person.
After she finds out, there are a few chapters with them together. Then it is on to Saffron.
Thought you should know.
I like the story, but the thing about Ranma's mom is also starting to annoy me.
At the very least something should have been written earlier that address this glaring hole.
Part of the relationship process is the whole trying to get to know each other, swapping life stories. Naturally the girls would have asked about Ranma's life and his mom.
A small paragraph or two about Ranma telling them that his mom is dead or something along those lines would have sufficed.
But after 16 chapters great chapter there has been plenty of scenes where it would have made sense for the topic to be brought up.
It seems silly that it wasn't. Never understood why the subject wasn't brought up in the Anime or the manga sooner.
Anyway enjoyed the fic this is my only complaint about it. Hope to see more of it soon.
| dogbertcarroll chapter 16 . 5/18/2003
LOL I would have thought Ranma would have done a better job but Cologne and Ranma do tend to play with their oponents rather then just winning.
I thought had Akane had been eaten! LOL.
Won't The Habiki's new baby have Ryoga's old problem?
LOL So that's what his umbrella is made of!
The fight between Ranma and Ryu was great!
I'm really suprised that Ryoga didn't ask for a match as well.
| ariel stormcloud chapter 16 . 5/17/2003
| Aondehafka chapter 16 . 5/16/2003
To anyone wondering where this is in the anime timeline: see reference in this chapter to Sentaro (the heir to Martial Arts Tea Ceremony) choosing Nabiki as the first target of his 'kidnap his own bride' attempts. This is around that time in the anime. Note that the original source material isn't all that internally consistent as far as timing goes... at one point in season three, Akane says she is making a dish to celebrate the two-year anniversary of Ranma's and Genma's coming to the Tendos'. Because this blatantly makes no sense whatsoever, I ignore it, and any other such inconsistencies.
And that answer as to where we are in the original timeline should explain why Nodoka hasn't showed up yet. Furthermore, don't expect to see her until Viz gets around to releasing the final episode of the anime-the one in which she is introduced. I am going to watch that before attempting to write about her (yes, I've seen the one OAV episode in which she appears, but that's not enough for me to be confident of treating her character appropriately).
| Mr. Man chapter 16 . 5/15/2003
This has been bothering me for a long time when the heck is Nodaka going to come up. Kodaci paints a picture of Ranma's mom perfect oppurtunity to go hey wheres your mom.
Theres all this sadness because Ranma is having family problems with his dad and everyone seems to be getting along with there family and his fianccees never go hey wheres Ranma's mom
I was expecting it to be brought up 5 chapters ago.
I can understand Nodaka not being mentioned if Ranma thought she was dead and the girls thinking she is dead from Ranma's memories, but since this wasn't mentioned its driven me nuts knowing it should have been brought up by now.
You would think before they all got each other memories that they would ask Ranma about his mom.
I can see that bringing her in now would cause some problems. Ranma appears to be reconcilling with his dad in the next few chapters it would really cramp that if his mom was to show up and Ranma found out about the whole seppuku thing.
Also Since this is following the anime where is the story in terms of the epidsodes of the anime?
Other than that I like the story a lot. Knew about this fic for years, but found the thought of a Ranma/ Kodiachi pairing sicking, but I'm glad I can the story a chance I have enjoyed it a lot.
| Bean-Filled Whack Bonk chapter 15 . 5/15/2003
Whew...good long read. I am quite impressed with this story all around. It is very well thought out and intricately written. I started on this a while ago and just finally finished reading the last chapter here tonight. Thanks for keeping me occupied on these long, lonely nights on the graveyard shift.
Keep up the good work and keep them coming. :)
| RedDesertPhoenix chapter 9 . 5/4/2003
Finished reading your Fanfic. I love it. The characters are interesting, well developed, and easy to care for.
The only two thinks I thought didn't quite fit in the story, was your mention of furies, who (From memory) go around harrassing peaple who kill their parents. In this case, not really relevant.
And the other thing was I thought the way Rioga (Please excuse my spelling) split in two and solved the whole mess between Ling Ling, Lung Lung and Ukou. I mean...
Shampoo falls in love with Kuno, goes through great emotional pain, then comes out of it. Shampoo falls in love with Ramna, along with Kodachi, there is great emotional pain on all sides, then they learn to live with it.
Then Ukou shows up, along with the twins, and there is great emotional pain all round as they fight over Rioga. Then rather than it being solved throught character development, Rioga walks into the spring of drowned twins, and they all live happily ever after. Seems just a little... easy.
Anyway, thats my 2 cents.
| ariel stormcloud chapter 15 . 5/1/2003
| dogbertcarroll chapter 15 . 4/30/2003
Great scene between the Ryoga's and their respective Airens. It was nice to see the way the girls worried abought the 'other' Ryoga. After all they are the same person. I can't help but wonder how many times you could push someone in that pool.
LOL! Ranma is still clueless as ever. I swear being in female form has to be messing with his hormonal levels! The girls seemed very willing.
Hah! Figured it was the gem! I love being right!
LOL! (I laughed a lot reading this fic.) Granny teleports to a store to replace Ranma's clothes.
Great engagement scene. I was wondering what the midnight visits were all abought. I thought one of the amazons was planning a surprise to catch Ranma before he could 'escape'.
| Mille Nomina chapter 13 . 4/24/2003
I'll put my money on the indecision based chi attack. I don't know how you're going to resolve this, but please make sure that Ukyo winds up with someone who makes her happy.
| dogbertcarroll chapter 14 . 4/18/2003
I still get a kick out of Shampoo wanting to beat her cousin into the ground for blaming her for something that wasn't her fault.
I loved the bit abought making Usagi promise not to use the chestnut fist on someone who makes a sailor moon remark.
I like the update on Akane. I was wondering how she was doing. Still stuck a little in the boys are perverts mindset but not too deep in it.
I'm actualy feeling a little sorry for Genma. He may be pretty clueless but he does love his son.
I kinda figured the curse would transfer through the heart link. It wouldn't be Ranma if he wasn't cursed.
I don't think cat fist training made you afraid of all things feline just housecats. At times Ranma will say feline instead of cat to avoid the stutter.
Hehehehe. Great ending.
| Zsych chapter 14 . 4/18/2003
Though i wonder why you didn't test Ranma for magical potential.
As it is, i'd expect Kodachi to outlive Ranma by several thousand years at least. Or so my knowledge of ki would imply. Having the level of ki strength she has, just keeping it from doing anything should take lots of control.
Plus the fact that Shampoo likely has to be helped in this regard too.
Time for a visit to Elminster i'd say, although i don't think that the instant awakening of the Dragon thing should be done.
A Ranma/Forgotten Realms fic should be interesting.
He could even face off with guys like Drizzt do'Urden.
Besides they need to have more adventures :)
Incidentally, when are they going to have kids? That should be ncie to see.
Well anyway, that's all for now. Hope to see more.
| ranger chapter 14 . 4/17/2003
Another very good chapter. I liked the Heart Line "problem" and the way the 3 handled it.
Not sure about the Ryoga/Twin thing. Though I wasn't sure how I wanted it to work out as I liked both "pairings".
However, I am interested to see what you do with it. The twins & Ryouga staying in China? going to Japan with "big sister" You've done a good job (again) with the options creating interest.
Again I look forward to more. Keep it up
| Dragonet of flame chapter 14 . 4/17/2003
Yay, Li Na. Nice ending too. I think Gourry and Zelgadis should find lina eventually though, even if you need her for your story, because it wont be a compleatly happy ending otherwise. Also, what if Ukyo, and the amazons got their Ryoga's mixed up? I guess they'll have to dress differently. Will they act differently too? What's it like talking to yourself, for Ryoga? Do they have all the same memories? Hmm...