Reviews for Double Barrel
Blod'garm'nuruodo chapter 2 . 5/28
I think that you have achived what Dean wanted, a touching romance story with some 'adult' content. Good job.
Cypher DS chapter 11 . 5/23
Hmm, I'm still trying to figure out how "Mr. Elliott" might become an anagram for "Venus" but I may have been off the mark with my last prediction.

My apologies for leaving this story for so long. To be honest, Axel's last confrontation was so gory and visceral (I still flinch thinking of that snapping rib cage) that I was waiting to get into the right mood to continue with this very intense story.

At any rate, I'm digging where things are picking up. Your character writing continues to be rich with nuance - little tics like the way Brady holds his jaw and chews his gum while he laughs - and the dialogue is natural as ever. I feel that at some points your one-line paragraphs could stand to be grouped into larger bunches to ease off on the dramatic tension, but when events are tense, it's a dynamite style - a feeling of "creeping forward inch by inch", waiting for the next jump scare. I'm gonna keep going!
Blod'garm'nuruodo chapter 13 . 4/29
if you stop this fanfiction i will feed you your own testicles while they are still attached to your nutsack.
Cypher DS chapter 10 . 12/12/2017
As much as I'd like to believe that Axel had his final confrontation with Venus and that we're now in the falling action, I get the feeling that you're not done torturing our poor young man. It's probably the goddess who wrote him that unmarked letter with an anonymous plane ticket and hotel key. She's going to have him right where she wants him.
Cypher DS chapter 9 . 12/12/2017
Whoa, what a vivid confrontation. Terrifying, visceral and completely creepy.
Cypher DS chapter 7 . 12/12/2017
Yikes, that was another horrifying dream sequence!
TheTrueOverlordBear chapter 8 . 11/9/2017
Although this is an interesting piece, I don't know if I can manage to write something as heavy and sensitive as this...unless I go acknowledge the reality of such things already...which is hard to do, and even harder as a man, I guess.
TheTrueOverlordBear chapter 7 . 11/8/2017
I don't usually read this sort of drama, alright, but I guess the gender role reversal got me interested in this. And at this point, I think I'm just reiterating why I'm reading this.
Cypher DS chapter 6 . 10/6/2017
Well, Axel's managed to cover that flesh wound with a bandaid, so I guess he can keep chugging along.
I never thought about Tiffany and Kyanna becoming a couple, but I like the argument for their relationship in this chapter. They are close in age despite their different lives, and Kyanna really could do with Tiffany's steadying influence.
TheTrueOverlordBear chapter 6 . 10/4/2017
This is...quite a mix of sexual humor and drama. Yeah, I guess that's pretty much what I can say at this point. Well, that, and Axel is still in a bad hole.
Cypher DS chapter 5 . 9/18/2017
Your style of writing brief, staccato sentences really fits Axel's traumatized mindset. In this shellshocked state he's not going to be going to be waxing poetic or having long, coherent thoughts, so the clipped, one line paragraphs fit the bill.

Axel's already let Venus' name slip in front of Tiffany, so hopefully that information will find its way to Kyu and the couple can find a way out of this nightmare.
TheTrueOverlordBear chapter 5 . 9/14/2017
Normally, I'd be peeved by mid-text Author's Notes, but I'll let that slide just this once, considering the consistently good quality of your writing. Anyway, I can really feel the pressure within Axel, alright. Not bad yet again, yo!
Cypher DS chapter 4 . 9/5/2017
Holy hell.

I thought this would be a colourful sex comedy where the main gag would be Axel's increasingly buffoonish balancing act: how to keep Kyu from discovering the randy love goddess raring to jump his bones, while simultaneously repelling Venus and remaining faithful to his fianace. Instead, Axel is psychologically tormented and raped. Well, I have to say it's an effective presentation. Axel's "numb" scene is rightly terrifying.
TheTrueOverlordBear chapter 4 . 8/27/2017
Okay, I think I better understand how traumatizing such trouble can be. That, and I guess it really is, at least, a different brand of scary for guys, if not worse. Would women even believe the usual one-uppers called men if it ever happened to men? Talk about going serious, yo.
Cypher DS chapter 3 . 8/13/2017
This is definitely falling on the 'terrifying' side of comedy, with Venus blinking in and out of existence as Kyu comes and goes. I can't wait to see where this goes, and how Axel will manage to survive until his wedding day.
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