|Reviews for The Enticement|
| JC chapter 16 . 7/15
| dawnraptor chapter 16 . 5/26
13 years ago you wrote this. I don't know if you even haunt these halls yet, but I wish to leave here my little token of appreciation. Thank you for your efforts that gave me a few hours of happy oblivion in the form of a great reading.
| MarinaIbrahim chapter 5 . 3/31
Oh wow I didn't expect Sarah's friends to encounter Jareth so soon, or ever actually! Love the dramatic irony Jean and Jareth's scene gave us, her being unaware of Jareth's nature, and Jareth being utterly confused over what's, in fact, a clue to Sarah's desire. Glad Gary followed along Sarah's wishes as a genuine friend and even got a glimpse to her world. And Sarah, Sarah honey. I just want to give this girl a hug after the torment she went through! A freaking non-stop, nine hour drive in severe and dangerous weather, all while keeping the heater on at an unbearable temperature? Yo, if this doesn't spell "she's a keeper" then I don't know what does. The poor thing... loved having her rightfully give a little attitude to Jareth before he could have a chance at patronizing her. She definitely does need to teach him some lessons about gratitude! Oh, and loved the way you wrote that bit about Sarah teetering between benevolence and hostility. Very nice.
P.S. Am I correct to assume you're a New Yorker? You're very knowledgeable about the highways, something I wouldn't expect to be written in detail otherwise. Pretty cool!
| MarinaIbrahim chapter 4 . 3/31
Hmm... We as an audience know the real reasoning behind Jareth being courteous to Sarah, and it's not a bad ulterior motive at all. However, I can't help but feel Jareth is a little ooc. He's just... so plainly polite. I sense no devious, possessive, mischievous, or cruel (as he did say he can be cruel) nature from him. He seems devoid of compassion towards Sarah, displaying almost no interest, and is simply acting on the fact that he needs to return to the labyrinth. Are we supposed to assume that in line with this plot, the Jareth we saw in the movie - with him being rather intimidating and somewhat flirtatious around Sarah - was more of a persona he used to try and woo her to become his queen? Rather than him actually having fallen in love with her? And because the plan failed, he sees no use in acting that way anymore, so he's more or less nonchalant towards her at this point in time? If so, I can understand why Jareth is the way he is right now. If things had gone another way, where the Labyrinth was more patient and let Jareth do things on his own time, he'd probably put up that persona again to try to get the Labyrinth's power back from her. I also have to consider the fact that he's being poisoned at the moment, so of course he can't function properly. Here comes Sarah to the rescue though! Love that bit where she was contemplating the idea of her becoming the goblin queen. It's nice to have her not be completely resentful towards the idea, although she seems a little melancholic about it. I know she's tied to the Aboveground by her career and friends, but those things I believe are easier to let go of. It's family that's a big factor, and seeing as she no longer has them, I don't see why she'd have any serious qualms about becoming an inhabitant of the Underground, much more so a monarch. Oh wait, I just realized... the biggest qualm would be Jareth of course lol
| MarinaIbrahim chapter 3 . 3/31
I forgot to mention how I liked that Sarah had lied about not knowing Jareth's name, that's certainly a way to insult a king lol I realize that it can be entirely possible that Sarah could forget his name. She only ever heard it said by Hoggle only what, once?
Its nice to for once have a Sarah that didn't completely initially resent the Goblin King as she grew up. Her infatuation before they reunited is a lot like what I had when I had met a boy (for only 5-10 minutes tops). Once we separated I started having dreams and idealizing him. Man what a crush can do to a 13 year old. Then when I met him again six years later, I was like, "oh no." Anyway, I know Sarah's going through a similar "oh no" phase, but at least she has it for a goblin king, which I think is a more intriguing than a mortal boy lol and I'm hoping it'll end much better than my experience.
I've also come across a lot of fanfiction where we have Jareth actively pining for Sarah, so it's refreshing to have a Jareth doesn't do that, and is more pensive towards his own circumstances. However, I do anticipate him genuinely falling in love with Sarah, since right now it looks like he's only putting up the effort as a sense of obligation to the Labyrinth (kind of like an arranged marriage to obey parents).
| MarinaIbrahim chapter 2 . 3/31
I kind of let out a giggle at the last scene when Jareth told her what exactly she had drawn. Wonder how he feels about that lol I realize that every time I read a new Labyrinth fanfiction, I need to wipe away all other notions from previous fanfictions and simply remember the movie in essence. That way I don't get jumbled up with certain concepts. That being said, I like how you set up Jareth's circumstances with regards to the Labyrinth. Rather than him being in complete control, or having the labyrinth be symbiotic to Jareth, this time we have the Labyrinth having power over him.
Also, I like how you're building up the characters. Sarah is 22-23 now, so she's learned to not to say things impulsively, but, like Jareth, I do savor the moments she reverts back to her petulant ways. An argumentative Sarah and Jareth is always so entertaining after all. She's a little more apologetic, but it's understandable given her circumstances. I believe that it's an instinctive reaction given what she went through with her family. Wonder if we'll see the stubborn part of her personality shine through in this story? Ah, I also love the power you gave her, the power of art. That's a nice interpretation as to what gift the Labyrinth gave her.
As for Jareth, poor goblin king for being unable to magically dawn himself with a wardrobe of his choice! lol, I really can't imagine him in anything other than his flamboyant get-ups. He's a lot more civil this time around, though perhaps not the best conversation partner since he's full of scowls and scorn in his expressions for now. I can't wait till he begins to warm up to Sarah. ;) Well, at least I hope... Oh, and I find his curiosity for human inventions endearing. Like a little curious cat. :)
| MarinaIbrahim chapter 1 . 3/30
Wow, this is the most intriguing premise I've read for a Labyrinth fanfic yet! Everything you've set up - the state of Sarah's family, Jareth's connection with the Labyrinth, the Labyrinth's power over Jareth and Sarah - makes for an appealing plot line I can't wait to delve into! Also, it's nice to be introduced to a confused and seemingly powerless Jareth, with no initial intention to woo/seduce Sarah aha
| MarbleGlove chapter 16 . 11/17/2017
this is a fabulous story. I love the world building and the characters and their interactions.
| BT chapter 16 . 11/12/2017
I have just finished "The Enticement" and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your talent with us. It was a great story. I enjoyed your portrayal of Sara and Jareth, and I particularly liked Jareth's sudden realization of his love for Sarah.
| SKY UNICORN chapter 16 . 10/27/2017
I love this story! thank thank thank you for writing it!
| BrilliantLady chapter 16 . 8/23/2017
Marvellous! Thanks for sharing your story. :) I'm glad Sarah didn't forget about her friend Gary, in the end.
| BrilliantLady chapter 13 . 8/23/2017
Alas, no snowbound snuggles for me to read! Ah well. I'm very much enjoying the story all the same. :) I do wonder why Jareth hasn't had any problems with touching iron since the earlier chapters? The cabin still has plenty (such as the corkscrew he used).
| BrilliantLady chapter 7 . 8/23/2017
*lol* Excellent evasive answer, Sarah! "No, I wouldn't care to explain this." Brilliant.
| BrilliantLady chapter 5 . 8/23/2017
I think we can all foresee the huddled-together-for-warmth moment coming up in the future for them as they're snowed in. I think I'll be disappointed if there *isn't* one, in fact! *lol* Old tropes can still be the best.
| BrilliantLady chapter 1 . 8/23/2017