Reviews for Girls Dead Rise: War of California
Deliberatee chapter 14 . 8/4/2020
Wait wait. Actually, having Miho call her mother 'Shiho' makes them MORE distant. Okaasan isn't an honorific, it's literally 'Mom'.
Deliberatee chapter 5 . 8/4/2020
Damn, what should I offer to get a sister like Maho? :3 I have 2 older brothers and 1 older sister but my sis and I aren't particularly close - we're not enemies either. We have our moments but not close. I've always been jealous of sisters in anime as they're usually depicted as having this close, special bond.
ShinHyuga90 chapter 5 . 3/17/2019
Assam and Pekoe who silence Darjeeling. xD Sure, they're in the middle of the apocalypse and they think about tea! XD But what is this story about talking animals? Zombies were not enough, we even bring bandits! As soon as I can I read the next chapter.
ShinHyuga90 chapter 4 . 2/24/2019
A moment, they are only five against hundreds and nobody tries to neutralize them? Ah, there are many more than five. Does Renta fight too? But are Toran, Karan and Shuran present on the spot? And then how do zombies spit fire? They are not dragons! A ... Stone wall? But is it like the great wall in China? And what does it have to do with the zombies? Sure, there's a zombie invasion and she thinks about the tigers! xD But are the soldiers of the Foundation? Mah ... As soon as I can read the next one.
ShinHyuga90 chapter 3 . 2/23/2019
Miho is definitely strange with these visions ... Truly the schools are 16. Anchovy! 3 There are all! Actually Kuro is inspired by the third reich (or so says wikia). Technically, Miho should know them already, having collaborated with them during the match against Shimada. I already read this dream thing in another fic. By blushing Miho will become a redskin. xD The nightmare begins ... As soon as I can read the next one.
ShinHyuga90 chapter 2 . 2/23/2019
But were not Anzu, Momo, and Yuzu replaced by Hana, Saori, and Yukari? So Saemonza is a donkey. xD Kay and the other Saunders would be served here. Here, perfect, go with the apocalypse! As soon as I can, I read the next one.
ShinHyuga90 chapter 1 . 2/22/2019
Momo wears glasses, not a monocle. The president of the United States in person! I did not expect it. The beginning promises well, as soon as I can read the next one.
Inceptor57 chapter 31 . 1/28/2018
I know you worked on a bit of spin-off between all the girls after they separated in the early chapters, but its finally good again to see them all back and with their own bit of quirks! I chuckled at the restaurant scene especially.

So that's that. Finally finished reading through the whole publication.

Overall, the trend of improvement is clearly shown from the first chapter to now. You have gotten a good grasp on how to retain audience and create suspense for them to be inclined to continue reading. The abstract detailing of certain scenes greatly improved the fantasy feel of the story as it allowed the audience's perception of certain aspects such as shapes and color to be unique and imaginative. The camaraderie between the girls are a very good sticking point to maintain a theme of the story as we move on.

Sometimes the dialogues and characters feel a bit off than how I'd imagine. However, lots of factor like, I dunno, a frickin zombie apocalypse, can act as a catalyst for quick character building and the such. It is good that you kept a consistent feel of character change as the story goes on. The only one I'm a bit put off by is Mako's, felt a bit rushed and contrived in the overall tone and context.

I do hope your future writing continues to show signs of improvements in method and story-telling. Lots of potential! I'm glad to see that some ideas as small as mine are able to inspire stories as big as this.

Inceptor57 chapter 30 . 1/27/2018
Tank versus the eldritch being that's causing the whole mess. Why? Because magic, duh.

Wow, everything just wrapped up like that? what a mysterious bit of reality-bending power this orb is in possession of.

This island sounds ominous, like a special kind of Jumanji or Alcatraz for its inhabitants. Curious to see what has happened to all of the Californian land.
Inceptor57 chapter 29 . 1/27/2018
Talking dinosaur. Why not.

Threadmill is going full speed ahead for the final spurt in your story. Feels a bit rushed, but if we're getting to the point, we're getting there 88 mph with this chapter.
Inceptor57 chapter 28 . 1/27/2018
Feels like that one last save games give you before you get to tangle with the big bad.

Great feeling reviewing everything, but now we're on!
Inceptor57 chapter 26 . 1/27/2018
I just realized where the orphan names come from... and I'm glad I caught it before I got to the afterword.

Great to see we past by that zombi, time to see what's next!
Inceptor57 chapter 25 . 1/25/2018
Yeesh, that was a rollercoaster.

Great chapter describing emotions though. Very telling once the crux of the chapter hits.

You did spell Mako's name wrong at least twice though. :)
Excal Umbra chapter 31 . 1/21/2018
This would be great as a OVA. I loved the story. Looking forward to the sequel.
NuclearAlchmist chapter 31 . 12/27/2017
{Gives a large round of applause.} BRAVO! Just bravo, SeekerMeeker! Thanks for delivering me and several others this Near-Masterpiece of literary fanfiction, and I hope that you will continue with the *implied* sequel!
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